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Dd (20 months) takes up to 2 hours to fall asleep!!!!

(25 Posts)
elsmommy Fri 24-Jun-05 21:41:11

and shes getting worse!!!

Should I make bedtime later? Its at half 8 or 9'0'clock now.

Or any good tips to make her fall asleep?

Fran1 Fri 24-Jun-05 21:45:29

Does she sleep in the day?

And when you say takes 2hours, what happens in these two hours?
Is she up and messing about, or genuinely laying down and trying to get to sleep.

I'm sure you know all the usual stuff about good routine, bath, milk, stories bed.

Are you having to sit with her for the whole two hours?

hermykne Fri 24-Jun-05 21:48:37

you '' have to look at the whole day in order to get her sleep better for you.
7.30 should be a normal bedtime, does she nap in the day, if so when, do oyu do a bedtime routine (some might say ritual!) with her, undress, bath, story, calm down, cuddles into bed
whats her evening diet like? nothing to hype her up
is she tired?
has she brothers or sisters distracting her from sleeping?
it may take a while to get her into a routine, if thats the way you decide to go, but my dd tells me at 8pm "shes ready for bed", and she naps for 1 1/2hrs in the day at noon, and gets up around 7.30

elsmommy Fri 24-Jun-05 21:52:01

Yeah we do all the routine.

Last night I took her into her room and lay her on the bed. I just lay by the side of the bed on the floor.
She kept getting up for about half an hour and I just kept putting her back in.
After that she was just lying there playing with her hands, feet, anything really.

I ended up lying next to her in the bed to make her fall asleep but didn't really wanna start having to do that again.

When I stopped bf her she was quite easy to get to sleep. Used to sit by her for 10 mins and she'd be gone. But over the last few weeks I don't know whats happened!!!

elsmommy Fri 24-Jun-05 21:53:22

Oh and she has about an hours sleep in the day. Usually around lunch time.

I've tried cutting the nap out but she tends to just fall asleep on the floor about 6pm!!

gigglinggoblin Fri 24-Jun-05 21:54:15

ds is 12 months. if we put him to bed between 6.30 and 7 he goes straight to sleep. any later (and this can be a matter of five minutes) he fights it like mad cos he is over tired. have you tried putting her down earlier?

elsmommy Fri 24-Jun-05 21:56:12

hermykne, she doesn't have any brothers or sisters

she doesn't seem tired at all

we've been doing our routine for ages now and it always seemed to work fine

she gets up about 6 too (and thats if we're lucky)

and during the hot weather shes been waking in the night too

elsmommy Fri 24-Jun-05 21:57:51

I haven't tried putting her down earlier.

Could give it a go tomorrow.

spod Fri 24-Jun-05 22:00:25

Message deleted

hermykne Sat 25-Jun-05 12:44:15

elsmommy sorry for not replying last night

for the day nap does she wake herself after an hr? or could oyu get her to sleep longer, sounds like she needs more sleep definitely.

you poor thing, its so hard, esp come the evening when oyu really want to chill for a wee while,

i dont know if this will help or not, but maybe she knows you are there and shes keeping there because she doesnt want you to go.
it may be time to get a little bit tough on her,

how old is she? you could controlled crying , not in its strictest format, but something alongthe lines of trying to get her to accept you will not stay with her now its sleeptime.

i definitely wouldnt let her fall asleep at 6pm on the floor, thats a sure sign she needs a longerday nap.

how old is she?

missycantstop Sat 25-Jun-05 13:20:08

I have the same problem with my 31 month old. He crys for about 4 hours everynight. No reason whatsoever. I put him to bed at 6pm as i know any later he gets moody and constantly crys. He also wakes up during the night. I use to check on him within his 4hours of crying but not even that got him to sleep so now i let him get on with it. I know its exhausting his been like this pretty much since he was 1 and a half and before that he was still getting up every 2 hours for a feed. I also have a 1 and a half year old who sleeps quite well and im 35 weeks pregnant. I cant give you any advice as i havent been able to get any myself from doctors health visitors etc. I know it can be stressful.

hermykne Sat 25-Jun-05 14:27:22

misscant stop
6pm for him is maybe why he is crying, what time does your younger child go to bed? are they up while the younger is in bed crying, seems a bit unfair? does he nap in the day?

hermykne Sat 25-Jun-05 14:28:35

dont want to be rude and i know its tiring for oyu the mom, but surely they could both wind doen and go to bed at the same time?

Raggydoll Sat 25-Jun-05 15:28:40

I agree this must be common problem... up to about 10mths old ds would go to sleep in about 10mins, I would do bedtime routine and then stay in the room with him until he was asleep. This was fine until at about one year it started taking about 2hrs for him to fall asleep, as I'm sure you know sitting in a chair or lying on bed for up to 2hrs (in the dark) can test the patience of a saint. ds (now 19mths) takes about an hour to fall asleep and to be honest he lies there quietly for about 55minutes playing with his hands and feet and teddies or having sips of water looking nowhere near sleep then suddenly he just goes like someone switching a light off... ! I think this must be the natural progression of sleep in children this age... the problem being not how long it takes but the fact he still requires me to be in the room while this is going on. My friend has 2 ds (3yrs and 1yr) and she puts them in bed and leaves them to it... they pretty go through the same patterns but she is able to leave them alone and go downstairs, I think this is something she has done with both boys from birth though.

morocco Sat 25-Jun-05 15:32:58

how do you feel about biting the bullet and trying sleep training? it drives me to distraction having to sit in the dark for hours on end and I ahve to say sleep training has never had great success with ours but perhaps I am not really very good at it so that's why
these light nights aren't helping - do you have blackout blinds and everything?

missycantstop Sat 25-Jun-05 16:25:49

they both go to bed at 6pm.

aloha Sat 25-Jun-05 16:32:07

Elsmommy, have you just tried putting her to bed with story etc, then kissing her good night and leaving? I'd find it v hard to go to sleep with someone in the room. Ds finds it impossible.
I couldn't leave a child to cry for four hours, I really couldn't. What does he say when he is crying?

missycantstop Sat 25-Jun-05 17:14:24

i dont think the health visitors understand how bad his crying is. it was them who told me to leave him. Thats what i do but it makes me feel like s?*t.
if offered by a health visitor would you give your child sleeping pills? i was offered this not sounding funny but i wouldnt risk taking sleeping pills let alone give them to a 2 year old i would rather carry on with the sleepless nights and the constant crying.

aloha Sat 25-Jun-05 21:08:12

can he tell you why he is crying?

spod Sat 25-Jun-05 21:17:33

Message deleted

bensmum3 Sat 25-Jun-05 22:05:08

I don't know, this might be false reassurance and it might not fit in your family, but I cuddled my first 2 to sleep until about 30 months, then did the sitting by the bed routine for a few weeks, until I felt they were ready to just go to bed and fall asleep after a story. From 3 years they've both been brilliant sleepers (still happy to go to bed at 7pm and sleep through till 7am, at 7 yrs and 10 yrs), ds2 is 2 on monday and I'm doing the same very relaxed routine with him,although sleeps after 4pm in the day usually mean hes up later, he now asks to go in his own bed sometimes.

missycantstop Sat 25-Jun-05 22:34:44

im not sure if its frustration as he has cerebral palsy. when i ask him what he wants he contanstly changes his mind. Tonight has been really good he cried not even 2 hours. -Although i think he is going down with a tummy bug. (not nice)

Fran1 Sat 25-Jun-05 22:45:16

How on earth do you cope listening to the cries for even two hours!!?

I know i'm a wimp and don't even manage for 2 minutes (thank god that doesn't happen anymore).

I feel the same as Bensmum. i cuddled and fed dd cos i couldn't handle the crying and at two and a half she goes off on her own after stories.

missycantstop Sat 25-Jun-05 22:59:31

i suppose im use to it now. even holding him doesnt settle him the other option is sleeping pills and i wouldnt risk that

KiwiKate Sun 26-Jun-05 13:46:23

I found with DS that it really helped when I showed him the time on the clock, and taught him to read the appropriate number. Now we have a game of it and I ask him to go and check the clock. When it is the right time he comes back saying "bed time!". He is 2.2yo though. It seems to have really helped that he knows that I am not just arbitrarily choosing a time to put him to bed.

I do find that if he has a bit of an inactive day for 2 days in a row he is impossible to get to sleep - so I try and make sure that every day (or at least every second day) he has a lot of running around etc going to a park or something. Also, he sleeps better at night if he's had a good nap in the day (I am very lucky with my routine, in that I can let him sleep as long as he wants in the day. If I wake him up from his day time sleep it seems to make it more difficult for him to sleep at night). Also, I try and be a little flexible about bed time (you know how hard it is to fall asleep when you are not tired), putting him down a little earlier if he looks tired, or a bit later if not so tired. If he looks wide awake I try the things I know tire him (hot bath, run around the house playing, or a good session of dancing to loud music), followed by a winding down session of letting him "read to himself" before we do the bedtime routine.

MCS - sorry to hear of your difficulties. Have you tried a parents support group in your area (or other medical advice?). Sleeping pills seem a bit off, surely there is another alternative that they can suggest? Often parents who have been through the same thing can provide more useful practical advice than the medical professionals. Good luck

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