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One year old, wired at bedtime..

(13 Posts)
Smee Thu 23-Jun-05 10:35:02

This is driving me batty. My one year old fights going to bed. He sleeps for no longer than 45 minutes all day, but then thankfully sleeps for 12/13 hours at night.

I do tea at 5.30, bath at 6.30, milk and books, then bed by 7.15. We sit on a comfy chair in his darkened room, have a bit more milk and I sing a couple of sleepy songs. It used to work. Now though he wants to stand, wants to get onto the floor and play, wants to do anything basically other than sleep.

I've tried putting him in his cot to gently play himself to sleep, but he just gets more wired, then upset and it can take hours (10pm last night!). It's not that he doesn't like his cot - he plays quite happily there and is happy there when he wakes in the night/ mornings too. It's not that he doesn't like bedtime either - he smiles as we go up the stairs, and giggles as we put his sleeping bag on.

The only thing that works now, is holding him in my arms and making him lie there. He objects and cries, but after only a few minutes of wrestling gives in, calms and sleeps. I then carry him to his cot. It almost always works, but it's stressful for us both and I dread it.

I know he's probably over tired, but I can't seem to get him to sleep for longer in the daytime - he's just too excited by life and has always been the same. Also, on the unusual occasions when he has it's made no difference whatsoever..

Any ideas? I really want to help him to get to sleep himself. He can do it in the night when he wakes, so how do I get him to recognise and accept bedtime??

bootsmonkey Thu 23-Jun-05 11:54:42

When he goes to bed at 10pm does he still sleep 12 hours - i.e. get up at 10am??

Smee Thu 23-Jun-05 19:33:37

No, but I think mainly because he needs to fill his nappy - that always seems to wake him. He does often sleep from 7.30 - 9 though. I think he's a teenager already..

(+ yes I know there's people reading this who'd kill for a babe who sleeps that late )

Surfermum Thu 23-Jun-05 19:48:05

This sounds very similar to dd's routine. She's 2 now but has been in the same routine/timings since she was 1. Bed at 7 and sleeping through till 8 or 9 (she was a good napper in the day too though).

She too had a phase of not going down, having been really good at it. What I found worked was to put her down, leave the room and leave her to cry for 5 minutes, then go back, settle her and leave again. Then I'd leave her for 10 mins next time and go back and do the same. Only very occasionally do I go back after 15 mins and she's normally asleep by then.

It worked and she got back to being really good at going to sleep. Occasionally she won't go down and I have no idea why! I will leave a side light on and tell her to read to her teddies, which more often than not works. If it doesn't then I break all the rules and get her back up and cuddle her on the settee or on my bed for an hour or so and then she goes down no problem when she's ready to drop.

It is only very occasionally that I have to do that and if it was every night or every week that I was having to get her back up I'd have to do something else, but she seems to be able to have a bit of an off night and then be fine again, so I don't worry about it.

It's great having one that sleeps so long into the morning isn't it? I keep thinking that I should get up and do a load of jobs while she's still asleep, but I don't!


Smee Thu 23-Jun-05 20:07:58

Yep, I love the later mornings too. Infact I love everything about him except this daft screetchy battle at bedtime. Tonight he screamed in my arms for 4/5 mins (why does it always feel like hours instead of minutes..?), then settled, then grinned at me (I mean the nerve!) then snoozed off. I put him into his cot still half awake and he rolled over onto his side quite happily and got himself to sleep within minutes.

I hear you on the controlled crying sort of technique, but I've tried that and all that happens is he cries and cries. Believe me, this boy's got stamina. I think my present idea is to keep on with this for a while and hope that he susses that there's no point in the battle bit as Mum always wins. (fat chance)

Oh and tonight too I tried letting him gently play in his room to see if he'd tire of it and be more amenable to bed, but he just got ridiculously excited - kept lifting up the blackout curtain 'til he nearly pulled it from its hanging and making farting noises..

Surfermum Thu 23-Jun-05 20:18:11

It does seem like ages doesn't it, I couldn't believe how long 15 minutes actually was. And her phase of not going down seemed to last forever too, but it was only a couple of weeks before the cc sorted it. I dreaded bedtime while it was going on. I thought it was my just desserts for having a baby that slept so well when she was tiny!

What about bringing bedtime forward a bit?.

Smee Thu 23-Jun-05 20:29:38

Oh now I really have to hate you. She sleeps during the day and slept when she was tiny?!

Only joking. My poor boy had colic when tiny and would only sleep on me for the first three months and since then he's never been a great sleeper. Difficult birth too, so maybe that had an effect, who knows. He's still very restless and I often hear him waking at night, though most times now he settles himself back to sleep.

Earlier sleep time? Well yes, good thought. Maybe I should try that again, though when I've tried it before even my holding him 'til he caved in didn't work. Dunno really - am wondering if he's just excited about having managed to get mobile. He never crawled, and is close to walking, but in the past two weeks has developed a mean bum shuffle. I think you're right about phases - am hoping it's just that..

bootsmonkey Thu 23-Jun-05 20:36:09

How long has it been going on as it could be the weather? My DD (3.1yo) has been a b**r for the last couple of nights, but I think it is cos she is generally hot, swaty and grumpy, just like me!

Remeber the phrase 'it's just a phase, it's just a phase' repeat ad infinitum!

Very jealous of all you out there with such good sleepers! 9AM!!!! HA!

bootsmonkey Thu 23-Jun-05 20:36:23


Flossam Thu 23-Jun-05 20:38:51

We're having similar probs with DS. Hoping that is just the weather too. He is still up with DP now. I am one very frazzled mummy going out for chocolate and wine now.... size 14? Me? Couldn't care less right now!

Smee Thu 23-Jun-05 20:53:53

Ooh, poor you Flossam - good on you for chocolate. I had crisps and beer the minute he was a bed. Medicinal I'd say.

Phase yep, I do keep repeating. I don't think the heat helps, but it's not just that. He had an ear infection that keep recurring - first time he's been ill and he wasn't a good patient. Went on for three weeks and during that time forgot how to do all the sleep things. We've got most of them back, but the going to bed, coupled with "Look Mum I can move without you" is a lethal combination..

Surfermum Thu 23-Jun-05 22:48:52

Smee - I'm talking out of my backside. DD wouldn't go down tonight and was still running round at 9.45 pm! We just let her!

Alcohol the minute they're in bed is not just medicinal, it's essential I'd say!!

sasa15 Sat 25-Jun-05 22:21:59

the same happened to my ds 11 months..some nights he just cry and doesn't want to go down...
I just take him up for another half an hour in the sofa with me or his chair why we are having dinner....he looks at his books or play a bit...we are not giving much attention otherwise he get excited,,,and then we put him down again and he usually sleep up to 8.30-9am.

tonight he went down around 10pm.
we were late with bath and milk, try to put him down at 9pm, he didn't like it....had a lot of water after that..could be the heat...!!!

I use to enjoy a glass of wine and cigarette in the evening...

but I just started no alchool for a while...

really enjoyed eating up to now....
but yes don't want to be size 13!

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