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Probably stupid question but advice on sheepskin...

16 replies

Littlemai · 19/11/2009 17:19

Hello
My DS is nearly 4 weeks and at night he is co-sleeping, not something we had planned but is what works and since having him and reading about it feel much happier with it....but he will not be put down ever and gets very overtired. I stopped trying to put him down in the day as I felt that him getting his sleep was more important and hoped that getting him used to sleeping in the day was a good first step....this worked in as much as we didn't get the 4 hours of crying every evening due to over-stimulation- but has not in anyway translated into improvement on daytime sleeping. I am a complete soft touch and can't cope with him crying very much at all, I have bought a sling so I can carry him as am fine with that but don't think I bought the best one....gosh its taking me a long time to get to the point.....My Mum and my hero has been staying so having someone hold him all the time has been fine but eventually she has to go back to her life and I would like to be able to get just a few minutes here and there where I can put DS down. I think this may also help me in feeling like I am making some kind of progress- or it could mean that I know it would please some of the more judgemental people in my life (see I am a soft touch).
SO I was advised to get a sheepskin that will hopefully be coming tomorrow and I wondered if there is a best way of introducing it as a sleeping thing, is it a good idea to let him play on it first or should I just keep it for when he is sleepy then try all the getting him to drift of stuff?
Probably no easy answer but really appreciate any/all ideas.
Sorry for rambling message (possibly I'm a bit overtired do you think?) x

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DLI · 19/11/2009 21:15

have you tried swaddling him when you put him down to sleep. my ds had to be tightly wrapped until the blanket didnt fit anymore because as soon as his hand twitched/moved he woke up! swaddling would give the sense of being close to someone (confined).

re the sheepskin i probably wouldnt let him play on it first as he will get confused what it is for ie play or sleep.

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Arsed · 19/11/2009 21:23

Swaddling has been great for both of mine. Ds especially liked to be swaddled really tight !

You could try a rocking chair too ?

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marenmj · 20/11/2009 19:20

I've found swaddling a mixed bag. DD hated to be confined in any way, and would scream the house down if we tried to swaddle her, particularly her legs.

DD sleeps on a sheepskin, but I cover it with a fleece blanket because the wool gets sweaty and matted, fyi.

The sleep association thing seems to work pretty well for us, but we found that we had to put DD on it before she was full asleep for her to get the association in the first place.

Good luck.

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Littlemai · 21/11/2009 19:45

Thank you for all your advice. Am finding myself getting a bit tearful about everything because the longer he is not letting me put him down the more I feel I'm doing something wrong and all the comments people make feel worse. And my lovely DH is really stressed at work so he is finding him difficult and I just feel really on edge. My mum has been staying the last couple of weeks and if she hadn't I dread to think what I would be like now x

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princessmel · 21/11/2009 19:53

Littlemai ds1 didn't like to be put down either, and we used a sheepskin. I first used it by putting him on it when he was already asleep.
In the beginning dh and I had to sleep with our hands on his tummy, our arms over the side of the moses basket, inbetween us in the bed!! This phase does pass. By 6 weeks he liked lying under his baby gym for short periods.

Please don't think you;re doing anything wrong.
I also have a few family members who think babies shouldn;t be held all the time etc etc, but you just do what you have to do.

When your mum goes home, is she far away??

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NinthWave · 21/11/2009 19:56

Just wanted to say that it does get easier, and he will learn to settle on his own soon - when my DS was newborn he was just the same, but he is now just about the only 2yo I know of who consistently sleeps 12 hours solid in his own bed! You are NOT making a 'rod for your back' or any of that nonsense, just take it one day at a time.

I hope the sheepskin works for you - mine used to like lying on something squashy much more than being on a plain mattress.

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Littlemai · 21/11/2009 21:22

Thank you Princessmel and NinthWave thank you so much for your reassurance, I will persevere and keep trying to ignore the unhelpful comments-is so nice to hear from mums who have been through it recently.. It does really help to make me feel less hopeless. Thank you again

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princessmel · 21/11/2009 21:27

Please don't feel hopeless [hugs]

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RhinestoneCowgirl · 21/11/2009 21:37

4 weeks is still so tiny, I can well remember the desperation for sleep! Use sling during the day and hold and cuddle as much as you like - cuddling v important for babies. Please don't let anyone tell you about bad habits...

On the sheepskin front - our DD has slept on a lambskin from day one (she's our 2nd baby). She is a bit of a better sleeper than her older brother (but he woke up A LOT) but couldn't say whether this was sheep-related or not.

Hope you all get more sleep soon

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LiegeAndLief · 21/11/2009 22:04

Please don't feel bad about holding him all the time. I felt just the same as you with ds who would never be put down, I somehow felt guilty that he wouldn't go in the cot...

Anyway have now had dd and been much more relaxed about it. She only slept in our bed or the sling for about the first 2 months, is now 4 months old and sleeps well in her cot at night and will nap in the pushchair. I didn't really do anything to encourage this, just kept trying every now and then and she did it of her own accord as she got older. She is also swaddled which helps a lot.

Ignore everyone else and just go with what works best for you and your ds!

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LiegeAndLief · 21/11/2009 22:05

Actually dd sleeps much better than ds did at this age despite all my vague attempts at "sleep training"!

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LadyMetroland · 22/11/2009 12:56

I'm in the same boat regarding having a baby that won't sleep anywhere except in my arms during the day and co-sleeping RIGHT next to me at night... She's only 7wks but am concerned about bad habits etc

Littlemai - I'd be keen to hear how you get on with the sheepskin. Hadn't thought of it before but come to think of it the only time dd has ever slept during the day without me is on a soft fleecy blanket laid out on our sofa (which I only put her on once she was deeply asleep). Let us know if you have any success

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Littlemai · 23/11/2009 11:57

Hey LadyMetroland
It is so reassuring to know I'm not the only one- I have been reading a lot about the co-sleeping thing and I think there are lots of strategies we can use later to ween them off it when they are older and more secure (still worry about it alot though- have been reading '3 in the bed' which is quite heavy reading when you are holding a baby at the same time but it gives lots of reasons why co-sleeping is a good thing, although it then has given me guilt about ever trying to put DS down- I think there is guilt everywhere!!!)

So its only day 2 with the sheepskin but yesterday he fell asleep with his head on my arm but the rest of him on the rug and we both went to sleep for about 40 minutes, and he did manage about 10 minutes on his own once I put him on asleep. Baby steps but hopefully in the right direction.

I feel that he really doesn't like lying on his back, and have been recommended cranial osteopathy??? Friends who have done it thought it was really good but I feel a bit sceptical about a magic cure when it will just be time. Anyway going to look into it and cost and if its not too expensive I might give it a go.
Let me know if you find any thing that works for you. xx

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Littlemai · 24/11/2009 15:42

Finally worked out how to use the sling and he slept happily without the usual 10 minutes crying first- feels amazing- I know it doesn't solve all issues but means I can get on in the day, he is happy and cries less and is getting his sleep. It has just made me feel so much more relaxed as I feel it has given me breathing space. I still often feel like i need a nap in the day so at that time I am going to use the sheepskin to try and build the sleep association thing but I have just taken the pressure off myself- Thank you all for helping me feel more confident in these decisions!!

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puffylovett · 25/11/2009 16:01

What was your birth like ? Cranial osteopathy can be brilliant for lengthy traumatic / ventouse births, or even speedy deliveries, either results in quite a lot of shock for babies that the CO can really help with. He may have a constant headache as a result, you just can't tell at this age, as they can't tell you

Please don't feel bad about creating bad habits, like you my family were really detrimental about my co sleeping with DS1, I got the 'rod for own back' phrase a lot, but he has turned into a brilliant sleeper who is superbly confident, and has never been clingy. (Lots of other children I know who were sleep trained have been quite clingy)

I'm rambling too, this sleep deprivation is the pits isn't it - I've been a bit fluey last couple of days, coupled with DS2 8 weeks who cluster feeds until 12pm means I'm also knackered

With DS2 I have just been following his lead re eating and sleeping rather than trying to establish a routine like I did with DS1 - and he very quickly found his own routine and is a good sleeper if winded thoroughly... but everyone disagrees with me feeding him to sleep / putting him in a sling / essentially giving him lots of comfort and security

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Littlemai · 26/11/2009 21:50

Puffylovett You sound like my hero- i am gradually getting braver with people slightly annoying/upsetting comments!! Using the sling has been amazing I actually went to a restaurant for lunch today with my Mum and Aunt and DS stayed asleep in the sling the whole time!! I felt very nervous about taking him but it was lovely (quite amusing to see the nervous faces of the other customers as they saw the tiny baby in the corner)
I hope you are feeling better-the idea of managing new baby and being ill worries me.
I read in the "3 in the bed" book a quote saying 'please don't love your baby too much as they might come to expect it', which I like cos it makes all those 'rod for own back people' just look a bit mean I will have to find a chance to use it.
Am still looking into CS x

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