Should I put DD 22 months in a bed. New baby due in 3 months?(13 Posts)
Would be v grateful for any help. DD seems v happy in her cot, shows no signs of wanting to get out but wondered if you were 'meant' to get children into beds at about 2? Is there any reason why cots are bad? That said, the new baby is due in Feb and I don't want to do anything too close to that which will add to the feeling of disruption. Any thoughts/experiences?
And do they just keep jumping out of the bed like jack-in-the-boxes once they are out of the cot? She's generally been pretty good at going to bed in the evening (though she often wakes in the night at the moment) and I'm dreading that changing.
Depends entirely on the child. I'd recommend making the change before the new baby arrives so that your dd doesn't feel pushed out of the cot by the new lo, but you may be planning to use a Moses basket at first, in any case. My 2ds are exactly 2 years apart. Ds1 moved to a bed at 2 but had the option to go into the cot as we left it in his room for a while (baby in our room in basket). And it was several months before he got out of bed before one of us went in to see him as he'd always been very happy to sing and play with his toys for ages before calling to be got up.
Ds2 has a completely different temperament and starts shouting to be removed from the cot as soon as he wakes up. We're swithering about moving him into a bed as we're utterly convinced he'll run straight through to be with us. However, as he wakes us up anyway, I'm not sure it will really be more disruptive. So we need to decide as he's huge and nearly fills the cot already.
I've kept mine in cots for as long as I can! Dd3 is still in hers at 2.5 and dd1 was in hers till 4 - but it was very big! Mine have always been pretty good about not falling out - once they are big enough to climb up they are big enough to land well so it's not like they are trapped in it. I don't see the point in buying a huge strange bed when they are snug in a familiar zone and still fit in it! I certainly wouldn't go for any big changes with a new baby coming. I assume you won't need the cot for a bit anyway and even if you do I would try to borrow one from a friend or get an Ikea cheap small one for the baby. There is definately this competitive thing about getting a baby into a bed - i just don't get it!
If you need the cot for the new baby, I would be inclined to move your DD now so she doesn't associate being shunted out of 'her' bed with the new baby. Other than that, I don't think there's a time limit on it, just whatever works best for her.
We co-slept with both of ours but when we moved DS1 to a bed at 21 months, he was fine (we bought bunk beds that split and he had the top one with the bars down the side so I don't think he realised he could get out if he wanted to!)
With DS2, he moved from our bed to a cot at about a year old and then moved into a toddler bed with he was about two. He was a total nightmare and wouldn't stay put so he only actually spent about two weeks in it before going back into the cot for another few months.
We moved ds1 at 20 months as had twins due before he was two and didnt want 3 cots. Got him a car bed and put it in spare room at first so he could see it and jump on it etc then told him he was going to get to actually SLEEP in it and it all went well.
Twins now nearly 22 months and an terrified of even trying to change the cot beds into beds! No reason to rush this time though so probably will try after christmas.
Thanks v much for your advice. It's actually a cot bed that she's in now though it got damaged in a move last year so I'm not sure it will survive being turned into a bed! But provided it does, we'd envisaged just getting another cot bed for the new lo though he/she will be in a moses basket with us at the start anyway.
Re the not feeling shunted out thing, it's a real concern but I suppose I feel that either way it's not going to be ideal i.e. if I do it when she's 2 it'll be less than 2 months before the baby arrives anyway and she'll still associate it with her little bro/sis. So is it any worse to move her two or three months after the baby arrives? I just don't know how long 2-year-olds remember for - after a few months, will she remember a time when the LO wasn't around?
And then there's the whole question of potty training!!
I would try and get another cot off freecycle etc if they are happy in the cot.
Cots take up less space then beds, mine fitted in it fine until 3 (my huge children), my average 4.5 year old would still fit in hers. I just took the side off/left it down and used it as a bed when they got older.
Sibling arrival is an unsettling time so I would avoid changing their bed in case it turns into a jack in a box nightmare tbh.
Thanks cargirl - another thing to add into the mix is that she'll be moving rooms as well eventually (once baby is out of the moses basket) so there's that change to adjust to in addition to the bed scenario and new sibling
Def keep the cot, move her into the new room asap can you do it within the next few weeks? Def her cot in her new room IMO.
I had a friend who wouldn't listen to me (they only had a 18 month gap) she did admit to a mutual friend much later that it was a big mistake to not get a 2nd cot! Her ds gave up naps once there was no cot and night time became a huge battle.......
I had exactly the same age gap as you and what I did was get the new room ready for DD1 before DD2 was born.
She watched us decorate and fit it out ready for her with a new bed and then
we only let her toys live in it for a bit. They were testing it out for her . She was allowed to play with them in there, but not allowed to sleep in there for about a week or so.
By which time she was sooooooo keen to move in, with the toys, and forgot all about her cot in the room next door.
She moved in about 2 months before DD2 was born and was nicely settled quite easily, using this method.
That is a very good tatic pesto, it didn't work on DN though, took about 3 months for her to be convinced! She would have her story in her bed and everything and then right at the last minute wanted to go back and sleep in her cot! Larger age gap she was 3 at the time.
Pesto and cargirl - thanks v much.
cargirl was thinking about it last night and this morning and have def decided to keep her cot for her and a new one for the new baby, as you suggest. I'd love to get the room ready now but unfortunately won't be able to. Won't bother explaining the whole story but we're having building work done and if we're lucky it'll be finished just days before the baby is born.
So I think we'll have to have baby in the bedroom with us and DD in her current room for the first month and decorate at the same time (DH is taking a month's paternity leave). Then I guess we'll follow your strategy, pesto. It's not ideal at all but is I think the only way I can see it working. It's all a bit scary!
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