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will my baby cry herself to sleep forever????

(9 Posts)
cathncait Fri 30-May-03 02:34:30

I know this question has probably been covered before, but I couldn't find it so...will she? She is 10 months old and some days I just hate hearing her cry - it goes for anything from 2mins to 20 mins every time she has a sleep. Do they grow out of it? If so when....(i realise as I write this that..of course they do grow out of it as I don't know many people who do this as adults )

aloha Fri 30-May-03 08:33:31

My ds cried himself to sleep a lot and I have to admit that at first it really upset me, but I honestly think baby crying nothing like adult crying in most cases, it's just the only way they have to express anything, from mild frustration or irritation to despair and agony! I believe my son's brief crying (very much like your daughter's) was due to a release of tension and a way of actually soothing himself to sleep - if you see what I mean. Sometimes it was a mild protest against my going. So I sometimes tried to imagine his crying as words - like 'Oh, are you going mum. I'd prefer it if you stayed...but I'm very tired." Or "Oh, I'm so exhausted and drained and tired..." This may sound completely mad but it helped me. BTW my son literally COULDN'T go to sleep if I stayed with him, he had to be alone to sleep so I really wasn't doing him any favours by staying. Mind you, he's 20 months now and goes down without crying almost every time. Hope this helps. I think this is very common.

LadyP Fri 30-May-03 11:48:34

Hopefully your dd will work it out sooner rather than later, but DS hasn't and he is 21 months.

He doesn't cry for hours, but at least 10 mins, at max 30.

One of my friends reassured me that some babies need to 'complain' about the fact that they want to stay up and they are being taken away for the action and being put to bed (similar to what aloha said). As a result, I don't feel bad about him crying anymore.

Although, it would be very nice if we could put him down and he just said 'night' and went to sleep

florenceuk Fri 30-May-03 13:32:53

DS (18mths) also used to do this, but is fine at night most of the time, just conks out after his feed and a goodnight kiss from mum and dad. However he still cries before day naps, esp as I am trying to stop habit of feeding him to sleep. But has started asking nanny to go upstairs and go to sleep during the day - I think as he is now on one nap a day, he just gets really tired and just wants to go to sleep.

SamboM Fri 30-May-03 13:54:33

I was wondering the same thing, my dd is nearly 9 months and I HATE leaving her crying every night. A couple of times lately she has gone down without crying so I'm hoping it's starting to improve.

GeorginaA Fri 30-May-03 17:04:39

My ds was exactly the same. I tried all the "bad" habits of getting him to sleep and none of them worked except allowing him to cry for 10 mins or so. I think some babies "need" to cry down to release tension/protest/express exhaustion as has already been said. You're not alone

PamT Fri 30-May-03 17:29:55

My 4 year old still cries most nights because she doesn't want to go to sleep and she still cries like a baby if she wakes during the night.

elliott Fri 30-May-03 18:03:45

Yup, my ds was the same - but I know what you mean, you'd just rather they didn't! He's now 18 months and very rarely cries before sleep now - can't quite remember when he stopped, maybe shortly after a year? He still frequently cries briefly in the night, mostly he's not really even awake. I guess some of them are just made like that.

cathncait Sat 31-May-03 02:42:38

thanks for the replies. It really does help to know that I'm not alone...poor you PamT . I hope ours doesn't last that long! I think I will use your method there aloha, it doesn't sound mad. dd won't go to sleep with me there either. I think if I'm there she thinks she has a chance...she'll somehow convince me to let her play instead of sleep - cheeky bugger . I will just have to look forward to the day when she just goes to sleep...

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