Need help with sleep + routine(8 Posts)
Don't know where to start really. dd is 16 weeks old (she was 10 weeks premature). She sleeps about 2-3 hours in the daytime but won't settle in the evening. She refuses to sleep in her moses basket and I have given up putting her in it so we are co-sleeping. She sleeps better this way but snacks frequently throughout the night (e.g feeds for 5 mins then goes to sleep). I don't mind her sleeping with us at this stage but relish the idea of getting our bed back to ourselves (as does dh!). She cries everytime I get out of bed - and wants to be held whenever she isn't feeding. dd is breast fed on demand and some nights seems to be constantly on my breast. I was told not to "overfeed" by the health visitor as it makes her reflux worse - but I don't know how I'm supposed to know when she is genuinely hungry or just over-tired and wanting to comfort suck. This evening she has been awake for 8 hours and still won't settle even though she is obviously tired. Anyway, her room will be ready tomorrow (new carpet) and I really want to try to establish a routine. All suggestions welcome
Oh and she won't take a dummy. She won't even have a bottle (despite being bottle fed for the first 10 weeks of life).
Hello again ladylush. <waves> You must be sooo tired.
Hmm. I know you've asked for tips on getting DD out of your bed, but I'm not the person to advise on that, because I'm a co-sleeping fan. My feeling is, at this stage, what is important is everyone in the family getting the most sleep possible in the circumstances - however that is achieved. If you can possibly entertain the idea, read "Three In A Bed" by Deborah Jackson. If not, you need someone else to advise really.
As for routine, your DD was 10 weeks premature, and so is effectively just a month old. I don't think there's barely a one-month-old alive who has a routine! From what I understand, the average baby is capable of/falls naturally into a routine at around four months old. DS was pretty textbook in this sense, with a morning nap, an afternoon nap, and a big chunk of night time sleep (albeit still waking for a feed or two) present by around this time. So maybe, for another three months or so, it isn't realistic to expect much more from your DD, and instead to focus for now on getting the most rest for all of you, however that's achieved - rocking, sling, co-sleeping, whatever.
You said that you don't mind your DD being in bed with you at this stage, so find out how to do it safely and comfortably for all, commit to it rather than resist it, and go with the flow for now. Hopefully, this way you'll all get reasonable rest - and it really doesn't have to be forever. And meanwhile, count down the (not many) months until your DD is bound to be more settled, simply because she's developmentally ready to be.
Hope this sort of helps, and that you get some better sleep soon.
Thanks Scrumplet I'm not sure where dd is in terms of developmental age as I have read that in premature babies it varies from one baby to another - some closer to corrected age, some actual. So that makes it harder in terms of knowing what to expect. She would be about 6 weeks old now if born on her due date. If 4 weeks is the age where lots of babies develop a routine I guess that could be any time between now and the next 10 weeks or so. At the moment she doesn't go to bed until I do but I was thinking maybe we should try putting her in the moses basket or cot at about 7pm, though I anticipate frequent waking, nursing,etc. til I bring her into bed with me (about 10.30). Ds was a terrible sleeper - did not sleep well til he was 3 yrs old Can't bear the thought of that happening again. Glad co-sleeping is going well for you. I think dh is against it more than me but I must admit it does cause problems with intimacy Thanks for the advice
Four MONTHS old, ladylush!
I realise intimacy can be an issue - to different degrees for different couples. There are ways round it - by the fire in the lounge, in a spare room, etc - but you need to do what works for you, and co-sleeping may not be it. And I'm impressed intimacy is well and truly on the agenda with a ten-week-old baby in the frame! Good for you!
She is 16 weeks - aggghhh it gets so confusing Re intimacy......one has to get back in the saddle
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