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Sorry early morning rising question again

(18 Posts)
Broms Sat 31-Oct-09 07:23:28

My ds (now nearly 2) has since he was 4 months old woken early - this has varied from btw 3.45 to 5.30ish - mainly late 4's early 5's. After trying various things I do just go and get him when he wakes up and start the day as nothing I have done as ever changed the early morning start. DS does just screams and screams until I go and get him and never gives in - never.

I do moan about it a lot and thanks - lots of you have been very supportive. But I also know that this is just the time he is wakes and there is nothing he or I can do about it.

But this has caused lots of rows with my dh who now feels like we can't continue with it as it is and wants me to just leave him to cry in the morning until he realises that we will not come in until its an acceptable time - say 6am.

Bascially am I being too soft and should let him cry until we "break" him as some people put it (like my dh) or should I just stop moaning and get on with the mornings and accept once and for all this is his time? I know I do feel the latter but I hate the rows with dh about it and I know he thinks I am too soft.

mamadiva Sat 31-Oct-09 07:30:19

My DS is 3.5YO and we have the exact same problem, nothing mwe try works and now that he is in his bed we get woken at about 4.15am every morning with a huge lump of a toddler jumping on us!

It's horrible but apart from sleeping with one eye open there is nothing we can do about it.

When DS was younger DP wanted to leave him until he realised but I just could'nt stand the crying and as you probably know emotions run high when you are woken out of a sleep so arguments start easily over nothing as does the feeling that I will never sleep again so the tears start flowing.

I have no advice but just wanted to let you know you are alone

girlsyearapart Sat 31-Oct-09 07:34:48

Morning Broms <<weary wave>>

Both the dds are at it now.

Am off to buy some matchsticks for eyelids shall I fetch you some?

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune Sat 31-Oct-09 07:42:18

Broms if you are happy with your DS getting up at that time then I would suggest you carry on with it and maybe, if possible, your DH sleeps in the spare room or sofa occasionally. It's not that I think you should ignore your DHs opinion but occasionally one parent has to make the decision about what has to be done if parents are at an impasse and it seems that there is little point causing your DS extra distress if you are accepting of the early mornings. You need to talk to your DH and find a compromise where he maybe gets to continue sleeping after you have got DS up.

My DH isn't particularly fond of controlled crying but acknowledges as it's me who has to deal with the night wakings and very early wakings (we have a 5am here as well, CC didn't work with that as he genuinely wants to get up and isn't tired) I get the ultimate say in how it is dealt with.

foxinsocks Sat 31-Oct-09 07:44:49

I am an early riser grin (this pleased dh immensely when one of our children turned out to be like this!)

first of all, I found it improves enormously when they start preschool/school

secondly, have you dropped the afternoon nap yet (for the nearly 2 year old)? as that can make a difference

lastly, and I cannot remember how old ours were when they did this, you get them a clock (would start with digital as easier to read), tell them that when they wake up, they can play quietly in their rooms till (insert time, so say 6am) and then they can come and see you and not before then. If they do this, they will get a special treat (or sticker, or however you choose to praise them). Believe it or not, this worked. We didn't have to do it for long as once they were at school, they stopped waking up that early anyway!

girlsyearapart Sat 31-Oct-09 07:46:27

have you ever tried the bunny clock fox?

foxinsocks Sat 31-Oct-09 07:49:14

no, mine are old now girlsyearsapart (9 and 8) and ds tends to lie in shock (I know, never thought it would happen!) and dd can wake up early (but by early, I mean 6am) and she will quite happily read in bed.

I thought about bunny clocks when they were little but heard loads of bad reviews about them breaking!

foxinsocks Sat 31-Oct-09 07:54:06

how old are your dds girls?

girlsyearapart Sat 31-Oct-09 07:59:48

oh. We're not tooo bad I suppose but dd1 (2.1)was sleeping 7-7/8 and has gone back to getting up at 530/6 which is way too early for her. Then tired ratty won't do as
she's told etc. Moving her into big bed at xmas thought bunny clock may help.

but the real early riser is dd2 (13m) who loves a late 4 early 5.

tobago04 Sat 31-Oct-09 08:02:45

My dd is like this and she's 4,it's driving me mad,shes at school now but it's made no difference,if anything shes worse,she used to get up about 6am which i could cope with but now it's about 4.30am,she also use this time to sing and talk non stop shock.Sorry i have no advice to offer,just wanted to let you know you are not alone

foxinsocks Sat 31-Oct-09 08:07:26

yes ds used to get up at 4.30/5am girls when he was a toddler. I don't know how he managed.

Have you cut the light of her room tobago? is she tired at the end of the day?

Broms Sat 31-Oct-09 08:17:12

Thanks so much - good to know not alone on this as now we are heading into the winter again I find I feel worse in the mornings and the days are never ending.

Just going to accept it and deal with the mornings myself - dh away a lot travelling anyway and gets up early for work so its really only the weekends and holidays that wind him up - he has 2 others and they slept beautifully all the time so think this one has come as a shock.

Its just a running them that dh implies I am too soft - take yesterday on a plane I was told ours was the only child causing havoc and I needed to control him! Easier said than done as we all know.

foxinsocks Sat 31-Oct-09 08:24:24

oh broms, we flew with ds on a long haul flight when he was 15 months. He did not stop the entire time (11 hours on an overnight flight!). At the end, the air hostesses gave out sweets to all the 'good children' and left ds out (although to be fair he was HIDEOUS and woke up all the other babies/children blush).

It's like they are full of energy! If it's any consolation, ds now does 2 hours of football during the week, a game on Saturday and 2 hours of rugby on Sunday morning grin and can now use his energy constructively!

but it is hard when they are small and so full of beans. It certainly isn't your fault though.

tobago04 Sat 31-Oct-09 08:28:32

Yeah she's got a black out blind foxinsocks and she asks to go to bed at 7.30! Strange child grin
It makes no difference what time she goes to bed either,dd2 is completley different if she goes to bed late she will sleep in,shes nearly three,i blame DH is is an early riser although not quite as early as dd1!
I know what you mean broms it feels so much worse when its still dark in the morning,mine would be the ones causing havoc on the plane too grin

foxinsocks Sat 31-Oct-09 08:56:00

I don't know how she gets through the school day tobago lol!

tobago04 Sat 31-Oct-09 09:05:20

I know!
Has anyone tried an alarm clock? Do you think that would work? Or theres a *teach me time clock* that looks quite good hmm

foxinsocks Sat 31-Oct-09 09:50:39

if she can read numbers, I would show her a digital clock and tell her about not coming into your room till 6. She's old enough to understand that. It took mine a bit of time to get it (at first, I got regular updates through the night hmm so 'the clock now says 4.05' <at the top of ds's voice>) but see if she can get that.

HalloweenIsSofaKingScary Sat 31-Oct-09 20:18:58

The company that makes grobags has brought out a new clock.

It has a moon and is blue during the night and a sun and orange when they're allowed to get up. Not as scary as the bunny!

It reverts to a digital clock when they're a bit older.

At £40 it's expensive. But I'll pay anything for sleep at the minute.

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