Every parent I have ever spoken to about controlled crying has said "oh, we found that if we kept going in to him to reassure him it just worked him into more of a rage and took longer, so we just left him to it".
Every single one.
All my friends and most of my family.
I am quite sure that when most people talk about cc, what they really mean is cio.
Is it another one of parentings guilty secrets?
There seems to be a big gap between the MN accepted wisdom (CIO is bad and people shouldn't do it, but CC is a godsend and a healthy and appropriate way to teach your child good sleeping habits) and what most people actually do.
I'm not planning to do either btw, I am a fraek who still bfs her 18 month old to sleep 2+ times a night. Three of my close friends are currently doing "sleep training" (CIO but calling it CC) with their LOs at the moment, and are really really pressuring me to do the same.
NOpe, think we are pretty clear on the difference. I can't even manage CC and don't think it's a good idea as they are still crying, aren't they? I used PU/PD to make sure he was never crying alone, if he was crying he was in my arms and I held him unti he stopped and settled. CC is pretty harsh, IMO.
My DD is only 7 months and I won't sleep train her until she's older and I need to (I BF her to sleep a lot, daytime and nighttime, and can see me doing this until I decide I've had enough, and really not sure when this will be), but having read about CIO and CC, I actually think CIO is not so bad, if you understand the reasoning behind it and why you are doing it. I have read CIO is more effective as it is easier not to stick to CC. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth is a really good reference which i think explains how CIO is not necessarily child cruelty.
Everyone has their own opinion on CC and CIO, which they're entitled to of course. I try not to make judgements on however anyone lets their kids sleep, and I don't think anyone should pressure you into a type of parenting you don't agree with. If you are happy with how your child is doing then fine. There's no right or wrong way!
CC seems too much like lots of teasing the baby/toddler with all the revisits. CIO is okay in my mind if it works within 20 minutes (I don't do either CC or CIO in general, though, I am too soft for either of them! ).
how it is "teasing" the baby/toddler by going back and reassuring them that you haven't abandoned them totally?
It's not always about sleep "training" - sometimes it's about actually getting your child to fall asleep on their own without you BFing them/holding them/rocking them - especially if you have a baby that can't be put down once asleep in your arms.