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Advice needed on PU/PD

(13 Posts)
babber Sun 25-Oct-09 20:52:21

Hi there,
My Ds is 9 mths old. I have somehow ended up BFing him to sleep at night and for most of his naps. I don't really mind doing this although I must admit I am now starting to think how nice it would be to just be able to put him in his cot and him to go to sleep! Especially as the magic boob doesn't always work anymore (such as 3am last night). I was thiking of try PU/PD but just wondering if I would be able to do it 'one nap at a time' i.e. just use it for his afternoon nap to begin with, then his morning nap, and then finally introduce it at nighttime? I did get the baby whisperer from the library but can't bring myself to read it ! got through the first chapter and couldn't bear it anymore. however, I am aware that PU/PD can work in helping LO's get to sleep themselves and my DS definitely needs to learn how to do this as he wasn't happy being awake last night but just couldn't get himself back to sleep. he invariably ends up in bed with us, which again isn't a huge problem as we all like cuddling up but i am aware its not ideal - i am all for co-sleeping but i also would prefer DS to be independent enough to sleep in his cot on his own...

anyway - this has turned into a rather long post... I think all i am asking is simply 'can I do PU/PD for just one of his naps per day or is it a case of all or nothing'?

hope this makes sense.. have forgotten how to put my thoughts into coherent sentences... going back to work will be interesting...

sjcmum Mon 26-Oct-09 20:07:03

Worth a try.... though it might be worth doing both day time naps at the same time rather than just doing it for one of them - then he may distinguish more between day and night too. I sympathise entirely DD2 is 10 months and in exactly the same position - have been trying to get the energy to start trying to persuade her to go to sleep on her own but so sleep deprived I can't quite bring myself too. She too is generally up for an hour plus at some point in the night, and desperate to go back to sleep, but seems unable to. Good luck!

FleeBee Mon 26-Oct-09 20:28:31

If it helps, I followed this for my DD1 and it worked! I started for the morning nap around 8.30am and it probably took nearly an hour of PU.PD no joke. I nearly wanted to give up and storm out of the room, scream, and give up but plugged on.

I then did it at after lunch for afternoon nap started at 12.230 probably about 40 mins. DH did it in the evening time after I BF her about 7p . I must admit that when she woke in the night I fed her and put her back to bed asleep and then she slept till about 6am - ish.

The next day did it all again and again the next day it all happened a lot quicker and since then she has self-settled and has been a good sleeper and is now 22 months.

Only now takes her clothes off at bedtime if anyone knows how to solve this I'm all ears.

GOOD LUCK - it worked for me but you have to STICK AT IT!!!!!!!

babber Tue 27-Oct-09 10:23:25

thanks so much for the replies... its great to hear a positive story as well, I feel much more inclined to try now and will probably go for both daytime naps to start with. sjcmum - i know exactly what you mean about mustering up the energy to start! I am definitely guilty of always going for the easy option... i think its a combination of being a bit lazy and also a real wimp when it comes to hearing him cry. I have come to accept though that part of the reason he is crying is because he's awake when he wants to be asleep so if i can teach him to self settle then i'll be helping him in the long run.
Just to clarify i've got it right... i prepare him to go to sleep (quiet time, curtains drawn etc) then put him in the cot, leave the room, go back in and pick him up when he cries and put him back as soon as he stops? repeat as necessary... can i expect him to wail the house down? can i walk around with him to get him to stop crying? lopts of questions as you can tell i still haven't read the book grin
he's got a cold at the moment so maybe it might be best to wait till its cleared up before starting as he only wanted me yesterday evening... usually DP can rock him back to sleep in the evenings if he wakes but not last night.
anyway, thanks agin for the input its great to know others have tried and it does work... just have to reprogram my sleep deprived brain to stick it out for a few nights...

FleeBee Tue 27-Oct-09 13:27:22

What I did was get her in her sleepsuit and in her sleeping bag - don't know if your DS has one? Got the house quiet, curtains drawn and gave her a kiss put her down in her cot and stood next to her just making shshing noises. When she started to cry I picked up her, patted her backs shhshed and then put her back down - even though she was still crying. I did that for an hour!!! Sure enough towards the end when I put her down she stopped crying and was rubbing her eyes and then they started drooping closed and I just stood barely daring to breathe, but carried on shssing quietly and then tip-toed out of the room backwards dodging every single creaky floorboard !!!

The lunch time I did the same pjs on, into sleeping bag curtains drawn. Stayed right next to her bed picking up and putting down and shusshing. I didn't walk round put did pat her back shsshed her swayed a bit!! She did cry, but I kept at it as I was with her and not letting her cry on her own, and was able to hold her and comfort her, I just put her back down to make sure when she did fall asleep she was doing it in her cot and not in my arms or attached to my boob!!!

IME you have to be sure you can do it as starting and giving up would be more confusing. However, if you decide it's not for you then don't worry, babies are all different. I just wanted to share my experience and let you know I'm cheering you on!!!!!

HTH

babber Tue 03-Nov-09 10:21:49

Thanks for the cheering fleebee (sorry for delay i ahve dribble related laptop issues so haven't been able to get online for days...)
I haven't attempted it yet but planning on next week as will have a run of a few days with no plans, people round etc... think i just need to concentrate on the naps at home for the first few days with just the two of us... will take your advice and ut him in his sleeping bag so he knows its sleep time. i hope it works! well aware that i will have to be quite resolute once i've started as i definitely don't want to confuse him. I'm hoping that if i can crack it duriong the day then when he wakes at night it will work too! We'll see!
anyway, thanks again i'll try and let you know how we get on!
x

mcflumpy Tue 03-Nov-09 20:38:21

I'm so glad you posted this, I'm considering it with my DD, only thing is she is only 5 months, is that too young to attempt this? Reasons for doing so is she is becoming increasly stressed at bedtime and nap time. She has 4 x 30 min naps per day first 2 naps she goes down OK, 3rd and 4th naps and bedtime are a nightmare. Bedtime is especially stressful for all especially DD she screams the house down mostly because she just wants to be asleep, it doesn't matter what time we put her down its the same (tried earlier bedtime for a couple of weeks in case she was OT). Feeding to sleep and rocking to sleep used to work but now nothing seems to work, so we're looking for an answer. Please let us know how you get on!...

FleeBee Mon 09-Nov-09 15:01:18

Hi Babber, is it this week??

If it is then best of luck - hope all goes well with you and your DS shall be thinking of you. If you want to come on and vent then let me know.

McFlumpy I think that they recommend at least 4 months before attempting. My DD1 was the same wanted to be aslpeep but didn't seem to know how to get there. Hang in, it did get better for us xx

mcflumpy Mon 09-Nov-09 16:58:16

Fleebee we started last week and I don't want to jinx it by writing this down but things are so much better already. We decided to just go for it for all naps and bedtime sleep to try and keep things consistant and thus far it's been really successful. The first couple of days were extremely difficult as there was so much crying but it has got progressively better and better. Today took 5 mins to get her down for a nap and where we would only get 35 mins Sleep before, she is just waking up from an hour long nap!

Only issue is I continued to use soother when putting dd down and I now understand this is a major no-no in pu/pd.

Any idea if I have to start all over again to get rid if paci?

pulaparkin Mon 09-Nov-09 19:39:10

mcflumpy- I don't remember dummies being a no-no in pupd?. My DS2 still has one (6 mo). But if you want to stop using it, then it probably will need some training of some kind- with my DS1 I used the "no cry sleep solution" method of removing it and replacing it if LO cries, repeat until they don't bother crying and eventually get used to not needing it to fall asleep.

GhoulsAreLoud Mon 09-Nov-09 20:09:49

Yes dummies are a no-no in pu-pd, they are supposed to learn to self-settle without any kind of prop.

BUT, if you don't mind your DD having a dummy when she's older then it probably won't matter (i.e. she probably won't need the dummy as a sleep prop when she's 2 or 3 so if you're planning for her to have a dummy for that long it's probably not an issue.

babber Tue 10-Nov-09 10:24:38

Hi there - was going to start this week but must admit we haven't yet... i am guilty of being particularly lazy! thing is he has started having really long naps now during the day (albeit i have to rock him to sleep in his pushchair) and although still wakes once at around 1.30am for a feed (whether he 'needs' this feed nutritionally i'm not sure) he is sleeping better at night. however - i would still like him to be able to get himself off to sleep, especially at night, i think it will be good for both of us. so i will definitely be giving it a go and will let you know how it goes (or come on to vent whichever is necessary!)
thanks for support and well done mcflumpy... very encouraging!

mcflumpy Tue 10-Nov-09 11:36:18

Babber I have to say in our instance the results were very quick. My initial goal was to get our dd to Go to sleep on her own and she can now do this. Her morning nap today involved no Pick ups no reassurance she just lay in her cot, chattered for about 10 mins then fell asleep with no dummy! If it continues I'm going to try to use it to extend her naps as they are usually only 30 mins although this mornings and one nap yesterday were an hour. Not quite sure how to use pu/pd to extend naps any ideas? Do I just go in and do pu/pd if she wakes after 30 mins?

Best of luck hope it works for you.

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