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Anybody tried controlled crying in the middle of the night?

(15 Posts)
newweddingname Thu 22-Oct-09 20:47:03

I need all the advice or help I can get, I know controlled crying is a difficult subject and I havent reached this decision easily (or indeed reached any decison yet) but im having major sleep probs with my dd and just dont know what to do anymore.

DD is 17 months old and has generally slept well but since she had the mmr she has been ill with one bug after the next and her sleep has gone to pot.

She is well now, but still sleeping badly, she goes down fairly well at 7pm and then wakes a couple of times before midnight and settles with a quick cuddle then after midnight (used to be about 4am but its getting earlier and earlier) she will wake and be inconsolable, tried lots of things, drink, milk, calpol, sleeping on a matress on the floor, rocking her etc.

We have a single bed in her room and the only way to settle her is to get into the bed with her and co-sleep, I have never done co sleeping before as im such a crap sleeper myself, its a big problem really, sometimes she just wants to play and it can take to 2 hours for her to go back to sleep.

Im left thinking about cc but is it suitable for this problem, thing thats confusing me is she settles at 7 really well, other problem is she daytime sleep has gone to pot as well......... please help im desperate

newweddingname Thu 22-Oct-09 21:22:15

sleepy bump sad

ilovealgreen Thu 22-Oct-09 21:41:05

hello, we have same issue, and are in the middle of trying CC and (fingers crossed) I think it may be working.

I have had a bit of sleep for the last two nights and it feels fantastic.

FYI we were co-sleeping and 17 mo DS was feeding all night, so much so that he never wanted breakfast....
Started with CC on Sunday night and still at it,and although it is HEARTBREAKING to hear the sobs they are getting shorter and sleep is getting longer and WE ARE ALL MUCH HAPPIER THROUGH THE DAY.

To tell the truth I was pretty much against it, but now we are doing it I am pleased with the results SO FAR..........

Good luck with whatever you chose. and CC is hard byw but you just have to stick with it if you decide to.

newweddingname Thu 22-Oct-09 21:55:36

oh thanks so much for getting back to me, ggod luck for tonight, glad things are looking up for you, i admire you perservering with it for so long!

Does your ds wake in the night? Do you still do cc then and if so how long has it taken.... so many questions I know Im just not sure where to start. My dd has got a hoarse voice at the moment from all the crying she is doing in the day as she is so overtired, i feel so sorry for her Im begining to think its not mean doing cc as she is crying so much anyway and things are not improving.

bloss Thu 22-Oct-09 22:25:17

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countrylover Fri 23-Oct-09 09:45:42

I've done it at nightime too - the cries somehow sound much worse at 3am but honestly it's so worth doing.

If for example your DD cries for an hour the first night, 30 mins the second and 10 mins the third that's still probably less in total that she would have done during one day if she's overtired.

I know with DS1 once he started sleeping well at night the crying and moaning in the day stopped all together and he was much happier. He also went down for naps without a fuss and had longer ones during the day.

We tried everything before doing CC but in my opinion it's the only thing which works.

countrylover Fri 23-Oct-09 09:48:53

It's also worth remembering that if you're going down the CC route you can't give cuddles and comfort to get her to sleep when she wakes before midnight and then do CC anytime she wakes up later than this.

It's got to be consistent so it's every time she wakes no matter what time. Otherwise it's confusing as sometimes they get cuddled to sleep when they cry and sometimes they don't which doesn't make sense to a little one.

newweddingname Fri 23-Oct-09 10:15:20

thanks so much for replies, tried it last night, she woke at about 11.30 and just wasnt settling so we tried it, can you tell me where we went wrong?

11.30 started crying, left her 3 mins and went in picked her up gave her a cuddle and just said quietly time to go to sleep baby and put her back down, she didnt make a peep and lay down, about 5 mins later she started crying again so left her 4 mins this time and repeated the whole process but as the gaps got longer, i got up to 7 mins the crys seemeed to get louder or thats how I felt, we had been doing it for an hour and it just didnt feel like she was going to give up any time soon.

We blew the whole thing and i went in and got her out of her cot and lay down with her in the single bed agghh she was full of beans then,playing, pulling my hair and laughing, I just felt too stressed out so swopped with dp and he went in with her and i got a much needed nights sleep.

She woke at 7.30 this morning but looks tired, daytime sleep has been a nightmare as well so im at my wits end, i cant believe this is the baby who slept through for the first time at 8 weeks old!!!!

There has been a lot of night wakings since the but overall she has been a reasonable sleeper..... im waffling now, i need a plan.

whats the longest anybody has tried cc for, over an hour?

bloss Fri 23-Oct-09 12:19:36

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newweddingname Fri 23-Oct-09 12:31:29

oh gosh 2 and a half hours, the mind boggles!

Right i really do need a plan, im on a night shift tonight and then dp is out all day tomorrow, not back till after 11pm tomorrow so ive just got this feeling that im now not going to sleep till god knows when hey ho.

Right i need a plan, i think ill just get through the weekend anyway i can then on monday night do controled crying properly, no wimping out half way through, ill get a glass of red and sit on the stairs with a book and a watch i think getting in and out of bed just makes it worse.

good point about the picking up and cuddling, i suppose its giving her the wrong messages........

bloss Sat 24-Oct-09 08:24:10

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Snotmonster Tue 27-Oct-09 03:21:46

Bloss can I jump in and ask how long it took to sort the 5am starts out? We did cc a while ago and it worked on the night time wake ups but recently we've gone to 5am or slightly earlier and I'm sick of it! DS is nearly 15 months. I wondered whether it was time to drop a nap but when he's been up since 5am it's impossible to try and push him through to nap at lunchtime.

newweddingname Tue 27-Oct-09 13:22:27

well i tried cc and it s working...sort of!

dd now sleeps in the cot all night, first night we did it she cried on and off for an hour, with me going in regullarly, then she fell asleep till 3am, then it only took 20 mins, the next night she slept from 7-6.30! wow!

Last night, the third night, she only had 45 mins sleep in the day and she woke at 1am took 30 mins to get her back to sleep, 3am, annother 30 mins and then 5am! took 20 mins to get her back to sleep, gosh its hard work its like having a new born again!

I need to sort out daytime sleep next

Snotmonster can you try cc at 5am? hard work but it worked with dd today.......maybe have a time limit of 30 mins? or maybe try earlier bedtime, i read somewhere early waking linked to being overtired?

porcamiseria Wed 28-Oct-09 10:17:30

we do it, TBH its horrible and I feel very traumatised by it. But they need to learn, and it does work.....

20 mins at bed time last night and then a 1am t0 2am session

The thing to remember is you know from their crying if they are grumbliung or genuinely upset

bloss Wed 28-Oct-09 19:05:11

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