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My 2yr old got up 22 times last night...

(21 Posts)
nicolamumof3 Fri 16-Oct-09 08:24:44

He was always a terrible sleeper would wake for no reason all through the night.

At 18m he was still in with us as we feared he would wake his brother that he had to share with.

However we bit the bullet and moved him 10m ago after xmas and all was fine! he started to sleep through.

Moved to a bed last month he now gets up continually through the night. We put him back to bed again and again and again and again. We are all tired he is starting to wake his brother now too as he screams when put back to bed. We stopped daytime naps because of this problem but someties unavoidably he will fall asleep in the car or pushchair. It doesn't seem to make much difference tho tbh. Last night was awful!! Help...

foxinsocks Fri 16-Oct-09 08:28:12

put him back in the cot

maybe he's not ready for a bed

PuppyMonkey Fri 16-Oct-09 08:32:34

Ooh Christ, I think we'll be having this in a few weeks cos we are going to try a bed. I am happy to go back to a cot if it all gets out of hand though.

belgo Fri 16-Oct-09 08:37:53

Did you not lose count? agree, back to the cot.

We put dd1 onto a mattress on the ground because she kept on climbing out of the cot at this age, and we put a play park fence around it so she stayed in her bed. It's a difficult age.

GentleOtter Fri 16-Oct-09 08:44:30

You have my every sympathy as we were woken only five times last night/ this morning so everyone is exhausted except ds, who is sleeping nicely. In our bed.

What about exhausting him outside this afternoon? A good run around the park then a long bath might settle him a bit better....?

When do they grow out of this?

foxinsocks Fri 16-Oct-09 08:49:46

my first one went into a bed quite early and was fine. My second one (ds) had already managed to break his cot by pulling the bars (like trying to get out of a cell lol) and I waited till he was a bit older.

It's child dependent (as to when they stop doing it). I think a lot of them test the boundaries by getting out and wandering around. Ds is now 7 and will still get out of bed once or twice before he goes to sleep but generally potters around without disturbing anyone though once he's asleep, he stays there (it's v dark, we don't leave a nightlight on so they don't like walking around when it's that dark).

If you don't want to put him back in the cot, you have to be incredibly consistent. No eye contact, no chatting, no cuddling. Just put them back into bed. Eventually they get the message but probably not till you've aged about 10 years.

nicolamumof3 Fri 16-Oct-09 09:22:43

Thanks Socks, it was DH who was counting not me btw! he is incredibly attached to daddy, everytime i put him back he kept saying 'no daddy'

the cot is not an option, he was screaming and kicking the bars i don't want to go back to that he was almost breaking plus he was climbing into DS2's bed before bed time and going mad when we put him into his cot so that was another drama. Thanks to everyone for reading and replying tho i really appreciate it.

DS3 is at nursery this morning then we are visiting family this afternoon so busy day for him!

Knickers0nMaHead Fri 16-Oct-09 09:28:02

Nicola, we had this with dd. We couldn't put her back in her cot though because she could climb out, at 13 months shock

Have you made his bed special for him? Say, a duvet cover and pillow case with his fav characters on?

foxinsocks Fri 16-Oct-09 09:47:42

yes, ds was a bit like that nicola. And he still attempts to crawl into bed with dd especially when he's overtired.

What I found most annoying was the disruption to her sleep rather than ours (although it was a nightmare for us too!).

Could dh read him a story in bed before he goes to sleep? Have you tried extra special praise for going to bed and staying there (if he manages it!)? Is he going to bed too early so not tired enough?

nicolamumof3 Fri 16-Oct-09 19:12:44

he does when he's here, he's v.hands on but he's a chef so often at work long hours and evenings.

Shattered tonight only tried to get up once so far!! DS2 is now unwell so hoping for a quiet night.

Evan613 Mon 19-Oct-09 22:20:26

Our boy is 2 yrs 3 months and has never slept through full night without waking at least once... My wife is exhausted, I work and am doing an MBA, so my wife is doing most of the wake ups. We don't want him in our bed for privacy reasons, but he constantly wants to come in. Instead we sit by his bed and wait for him to fall asleep. This takes ages cos he knows we will leave eventually. My wife cannot handle any screaming, it goes right through her, so to avoid the screaming and because she is so tired, she will bring him into our bed. The truth is, I don't mind him sleeping in our bed if he really needs to...
We have been walking him back to his bed for months now and it has not made him more secure to sleep through the night.

Any ideas

Jux Mon 19-Oct-09 22:25:39

I don't think I got dd into a bed until she was 3 (or possibly more blush). This was mainly because dh was so uncooperative and he just saw it as yet more for him to do (get a bed). Once she had the bed I had no problems at all with her sleeping. I suspect it is because she was soooooo old grin

Perhaps you should go back to the cot until he's a bit older.

Washersaurus Mon 19-Oct-09 22:26:39

OK I'll come clean and admit sometimes I promise chocolate coins or a small wrapped up prize in the morning if DS2 (2.3) stays in his own bed all night. It does seem to work....really we have tried everything else - even the sleep clinic.

Washersaurus Mon 19-Oct-09 22:34:07

If it helps anyone, this was the sleep clinic approach we used which improved our sleep problems dramatically (C&P from a previous sleep deprivation thread)

This is taken from a Health Visitor article, called 'Peace at last: a model of sleep management for parents'

"The key to helping the child learn these new sleep associated behaviours is for the parent to provide support, but not attention. The parent should be advised to follow the normal bedtime routine, then at the very end, kiss the child goodnight and promise to 'come back in a minute to give a kiss'. However, they should actually return in seconds. They should move just a little and then give another kiss, then a little more, then another kiss, then occupy themselves - e.g putting away some clothes in the drawer - and give another kiss.

Then out and back for another kiss, and so on. The contract is: in bed, head on pillow, then a goodnight kiss, but no more chatter, no more cuddles, no more stories, play or drinks; just kisses until the child is asleep.

This may take 300 kisses and three hours on the first night, but it should be slightly less on the second night, then less on the third and fourth nights. Watch out for the fifth night, this is often the test night and may be as bad as the first. Once past the 'test night' by the sixth and seventh nights the new learning is usually secured."

We are using this routine for initial getting off to sleep and for night wakings - the advice we were given was to only leave 30seconds/1 min if leaving the room and returning at regular intervals.

penona Mon 19-Oct-09 22:37:32

Evan - we had this with my DS from age 15mths to about 23 mths. What we did, in the end (about 20 mths), was use a double sofa bed in his room. He slept in it on his own (with big bolster cushions to stop him rolling out) and when he cried in the night, I just got in the other side. I started doing it probably 6 nights a week, am down to 1 or 2 nights now. It is a total pain, not ideal, but at least everyone gets some sleep. And occasionally I get the treat of sleeping with DH!!!!
Good luck, feel for both of you, sleep problems are the worst.

nicolamumof3 Tue 20-Oct-09 07:02:28

At least is comforting to know we are not the only ones!!

thesockmonsterofdoom Tue 20-Oct-09 07:50:09

I have nothing constructive to offer, just sympathy and a strong cup of coffee.

Evan613 Tue 20-Oct-09 22:09:32

Hi all,

This has been really amazing! I feel like I am involved in a support group! It feels great.

Last night, he woke up a lot and we eventually gave in and let him sleep in our bed. But then he kicks and he gets irritable cos at the same time he likes his space!
We got him on a herbal remedy now and the homeopath says that in 5 days he should be sleeping better. All I know is that we are holding thumbs!

I like the idea of the kissing story, but doesn't it wake the child up in between...eg. As he is falling asleep you give him a kiss!?

Sleep well all!@

nicolamumof3 Tue 20-Oct-09 22:22:53

love to hear how the remedy works! good luck.

ches Wed 21-Oct-09 04:54:13

Evan,

I work full-time and am a masters student, DH works part-time and is a full-time student. Our philosophy therefore is "whatever is necessary to get the most sleep." That translates to DS (also 2, also never slept through -- or even close) goes to bed in his single bed, wakes +/- 11pm for a wee, back into single bed no fuss, then +/- 1am wakes again and comes in with us. Unless he's teething he then sleeps through until 5am (another wee) and then about 6:30am (my alarm) or 7am. A switch flipped in him about 3 months ago when he suddenly started sleeping more deeply (hence the no fuss back in bed after 11pm wee).

HTH
Ches

Evan613 Thu 22-Oct-09 09:23:31

Thanks,
That is encouraging to know...He slept with me last night and wife slept in his bed....He is so restless...

I can't wait for the switch to turn on for a bit of sleep!!!

I think that when we relax with the fact that he is not sleeping, he will start sleeping...Because we put so much tension on this fact, he feels the anxiety and therefore doesn't sleep.

All the best
Evan

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