I can't seem to find the bit in any of the sleep training guides that tells you what to do when...

[OhBuggerandArse]

...after being up for nearly an hour at 2 am the two year old gets so angry at not being alowed into Mummy and Daddy's bed that he does a poo in his nappy on purpose and then takes his nappy off while you're getting the nappy changing kit together so the poo falls out into the Iggle Piggle blanket, and the Daddy steps in it and shouts a lot, and the two year old escapes and goes running around and climbs into Mummy and Daddy's bed while you're trying to catch him so that poo gets smeared all over the sheets, and then after everything's finally cleaned up properly he lies in bed with his eyes shut looking like he's asleep for two hours, but if you try and move a centimetre from the bed side he wakes up immediately and wails terrible terrible wails.

Surely somebody must cover this? Anyone? Or does that only happen in our house?

[OhBuggerandArse]

Bump... was just moaning really, but would be very grateful if anyone did have any advice!

[theyoungvisiter]

Oh dear, sounds like a bit of a strained night

Apropos of nothing, can you do a poo on purpose?! I'm always a bit sceptical when people claim their child pooed "deliberately" - surely the poo's either there, or it's not?! I doubt I could do a poo on purpose, let alone my 3 yo.

Is there a reason he's not allowed in your bed? I just wonder, if you're going to let him in anyway, maybe it's better to do it sooner rather than later, so you don't all lose a lot of sleep.

On a practical note at preventing the poo issue again - put him into a baby sleeping bag, with the zip at the back if necessary, so he doesn't have access to his own nappy.

I sympathise though, in the 3 and a bit years since I had kids, I can count the number of unbroken nights I've had on the fingers of one hand.

[PuppyMonkey]

Sorry you've had such a horrid night, but that made me ROFl as well. You will laugh about it one day... not yet... but one day!!!

Got a lock for his bedroom door?

[theyoungvisiter]

it did make me rofl a bit too, sorry

[OhBuggerandArse]

Oh we laughed at the time, even, in a strained, manic sort of way.

The not letting him into our bed thing is just because it was getting completely out of hand - the deal always used to be that he was allowed in for a cuddle in the morning any time after 6, but he was wanting to be there all night, and it means no-one sleeps well at all - we're both working, and I'm pregnant, so we kind of need to deal with it now if we possibly can.

I'm not sure about the pooing on purpose either, but although he hadn't done a poo at night for over a year, he has done on the three separate occasions that we've had a bad night like this, always at moments when we've tried to be really firm about him staying put, so I'm pretty suspicious, really.

[theyoungvisiter]

but it's more likely the adrenalin of the confrontation causing his system to loosen, don't you think?

I mean it's a pretty primal thing - if animals feel threatened or over-excited they empty their bowels so as to be able to flee or fight more effectively.

I'm sure the stress may well be connected to the pooing, but I think it would be an involuntary reaction rather than anything "deliberate".

Not that it really matters, but I think sometimes people get upset over it and feel their toddler is being manipulative, whereas I strongly feel it's just the toddler's system responding to the adrenalin rush and not their fault.

[theyoungvisiter]

in terms of the sleeping thing, he's probably putting up a last stand against the new regime, and also maybe responding to your pregnancy. My toddler got a lot more clingy when I was pregnant - even though he was too young to understand what was happening.

Is it worth sending your DH down to sleep in his room for an hour or two? It might result in more sleep overall and at least make him (your DS I mean) feel more reassured about being in his room.

[MrsBadger]

DD is also 2 and after spending 6m prising her out of our bed at 12m I have decided (meanly but reasonably IMO) that she is not coming back in.
I have to be up at 6.30 anyway so if she wakes up after 6 I stagger in to her with a cheery 'good morning' and we start the day.
Anytime before 6am gets the night-waking treatment (reassurance, tucking in, sleepy music)

however a friend of mine swears by a stairgate on the dc's bedroom doorway...

[cleanandclothed]

Oh dear I laughed till I cried at this (compliment to your writing skills rather than being unsympathetic). Would second the stairgate on the bedroom door - not shut all the time but possibly in emergencies like this! (Although it is in those situations that you forget to shut the gate!) Possibly shutting your door when you get up to him? Do you have music for him to go to sleep to that can mask you leaving the room?

[freename]

agree he is making a last stand against the new regime. If you give in now he will be bolder. Stick to your guns. He may not like it but you need to remain consistent.