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How can I help my baby get himself to sleep?

(20 Posts)
littlestar Mon 06-Jun-05 10:29:15

My DS is 10 weeks old and very clingy. He will only fall asleep on me or DH and then, when we try and lay him in his Moses basket he wakes up crying and won't go back to sleep. As a result he is missing out on daytime naps and is over-tired at night.

How can I encourage him get to sleep by himself in his basket? At night we spend ages jiggling him to sleep, then he shares my bed. I can't recall him ever falling asleep unaided and I'm really worried about it.

littlestar Mon 06-Jun-05 10:30:04

p.s. I really can't bear the thought of leaving him to cry!

hayleylou Mon 06-Jun-05 10:31:23

Hi my ds was like that, have you tried putting one of your used t shirts or nights shirts in the backet with baby!

koalabear Mon 06-Jun-05 10:59:07

if you can, have a read of "The baby whisperer" - it really helped us in this regard

colditz Mon 06-Jun-05 11:01:50

Put the basket in bed next to you, then if he wakes wanting you, you only have to reach in and stroke him. And you know you can't roll on him then.

babaworshipper Mon 06-Jun-05 11:43:09

Just remember this too will pass - it's just a stage!

Try a sling for daytime naps - you can get on with stuff and he will be happy. Maybe a hug a bub or a ring sling. He is very tiny and just wants his mummy or daddy to hug!

When it was driving me mad I just reminded myself that when she was bigger I would regret not holding her when she wants it.

p.s. - cuddly not clingy - sounds so much nicer.

Angeliz Mon 06-Jun-05 11:46:34

littlestar, my dd2 (aged 14 weeks) sleeps under the extractor fan in the kitchen during the daytime.
I think she feels she's not alone with all the noise, i have the washing machine on and everything. If i try to put her upstairs in the day time, she wakes up!

Good luck

Rai Tue 07-Jun-05 19:47:05

I found Elizebeth Pantley "no-cry sleep solution" book had useful tips what ever situation, whether you are bf or co-sleeping and you want to change. Though admit that neither my 2.5 year old or 5 month old go to sleep unaided, if I am honest this is my choice though, however oldest is in bed by 6.30pm with the help of me in bed with him for half an hour, then generally the evening is ours.

We did not really develop any routines until ds was 6 months old. Babies like to be held and if you like holding them with the help of a sling or sharing bed with them thats fine, if it's too much then do try the book I mentioned above, came in handy for advice on night time waking every hour and also reducing bf comfortfeeding without resorting to controlled crying. But it all takes time.

Funny I remember first child the days passed so slowly for the first year especiallly nighttimes and lack of sleep, now with second, 5 months have gone in a flash.

Hope you find a solution which suits ds, you and dh!

hadenandmum Tue 07-Jun-05 22:11:44

I put my pram in the bedroom and would religiously push my DS at every wakeful hour. I got so tired and he got so heavy. He slept on me too. Do the usual checks first though. Scrap the basket for a while. It doesn't work for all babies. There's no one way of helping them sleep, but this one saves your back!! (and relationship with partner!!)

madrose Tue 07-Jun-05 22:32:01

my dd wouldn't sleep in the Moses basket, everytime I put her in it, she would wake. for a while she would sleep only on me, but she will now sleep in her chair.
It took a while, but I noticed she liked to nap about 11ish in the am and about 5ish in the pm. I put her in her chair and used to rock her and talk to her quietly and she would drift off, now as long as she can see me, she will drop off.

My SIL lent me a crib, and we did something similar for bedtime, but I do think it helped that she could see me when she was in her crib and I was in bed or by the side of the bed. If I leave the room - she howls, and tears appear

Had to move recently to the travel cot as she is now too big for the crib and the cot is too big for our room. I put her down awake but tired, and then I position myself so she can see me, I play the same tune every night, and then I stay with her until she is asleep. Now it only takes about 15 minutes.

However, because she is in the travel cot, she can't see us, so it is harder for us to get her back to sleep after her 4am feed, and we've now got into the bad habit of letting her stay in bed with us after a feed, because I know she'll sleep and then I can sleep. But tbh I love those nighttime cuddles, and I already miss the days when she would only go to sleep on me, so ever so often, we have a sofa day, where we spend the day cuddling and she sleeps on me.

sorry I've seemed to ramble for a bit - i'm sleepy

good luck

swivellyscooter Tue 07-Jun-05 22:33:03

Each of mine had "noo-noo's" which were pet names for their comforter of choice. ds4 is almost 6mths and settles himself to sleep in his cot on his own with his bear snuggled against his face.

Does yours have anything like this that they could get used to sleeping with? What about a dummy?

meggymoo Tue 07-Jun-05 22:41:05

Message withdrawn

jenweber630 Thu 09-Jun-05 00:12:25

My ds is 6 months old tomorrow and is still not sleeping consistently through the night and I've tried a lot of things... I swaddle him still and have a white noise CD that I put on repeat all night long... I also often have to give him a dummy a few times through the night. However, this is a dream compared to the way it was a few months ago - it took me quite a long time to get him to bed and often he would only sleep on top of me. I just kept telling myself that this wouldn't go on forever! And now that things are better it's such a relief... I can't wait to get 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep more often than not...

littlestar Thu 09-Jun-05 19:20:58

Thanks everyone, there's lots of stuff to try - and I'm definitely going to get the No Cry Sleep book.

Babaworshipper - of course you're right, he's adorably cuddly, not clingy! I was feeling a bit down when I wrote my original post, and I'd been comparing him to friends' babies who all seem happy in their cots. Bad idea.

As I'm writing this he's lying on my lap smiling and waving, so I'm determined to enjoy the cuddles, rocking and bed-sharing while it lasts. But I'll also keep trying to encourage him to enjoy sleeping in his basket. to give us both a break from each other once in a while.

The osteopath thinks he gets a bit of reflux, which may explain why he isn't happy sleeping on his back. Is there anything I can do to help (apart from avoiding acid foods)?

mears Thu 09-Jun-05 19:28:35

Do you ever rock him in a pram - that movement usually induces sleep.

jojo76 Fri 10-Jun-05 11:50:16

Little star, I think that tilting his mattress with a small towel folded under the head end is meant to help with reflux, so that he doesnt lie flat on his back, and also you could try tilting changing unit too (not sure how, maybe something under the mat, or if it is a unit, a couple of books under the legs of it at the head end??)
I also found the babywhisperer book great at helping my ds to learn to go to sleep on his own, infact today i have for the first time been able to put him in the cot and walk out while he is still awake and he has gone off to sleep on his own. A major achievement as he used to have to be rocked to sleep and used to get hideously tired too! Mine is 12 weeks and i think its taken about a month to get here, trying to stick tothe same nap routine everytime really helped, and letting him cry in the cot but staying right with him and patting him so he wasnt left to cry on his own.
Good luck!!

Radida Sat 11-Jun-05 20:49:07

Dear little star my dd has reflux, and we've tilted the cot by propping the legs at he head end of the cot up on blocks of wood, you can also use books or bricks. My specialist told us not to put anything under the mattress as this could interfere with ventilation and air circulation of the mattress.

Radida Sat 11-Jun-05 20:50:37

Sorry, me again, also forgot, used a small cushion under the head end of the change mat to help with reflux. Have you been given any meds for the problem? Good Luck!

likklemum Sun 12-Jun-05 22:54:29

Hi Little Star,
I have a very similar prob with my ds (9weeks). I have been using the Baby Whisperer aswell, but sometimes it just doesnt seem to work (ie. last night when he had a grumbly cry for 3 hours and was asleep for no longer than 5mins at anyone time) and he can grumble until his next feed. this is hard at the start of the evening, but i too find it impossible for 3am feed. Also, dreamfeeding is not working? Glad that other peoples babies haven't just decided to sleep through like some of my friends babies have!!!Good to hear from others with 'cuddly' babies around the same age!

likklemum Sun 12-Jun-05 22:59:23

PS. I also use ds's car seat. I think in the cot that all that space can still be a bit frightening when their arms jerk about and it shocks them. My baby wriggles out of swaddling and if he cant he gets peed off!

Sometimes I think its coz he doesnt like sleeping on his back and have tried propping him up on his side by resting a cushion between his back and the side of the cot and rolling up a towell inbetween the cotside and his tummy (nowhere near his face). Check he cant roll onto his front.

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