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need help - 9m ds waking every hour. I'm close to breaking point.

(9 Posts)
kitkat9 Sat 19-Sep-09 08:05:11

For the last 4 nights I have seen every hour on the clock.

I am desperate. I have 2 older dc's so no chance of catching up on sleep during the day.

Ds2 got to a reasonably good stage of going to bed by 7pm, waking maybe arounbd midnight then again around 4am, both times I would settle him back down and our day was starting at around 6.30am - I could just about handle this although it wasn't ideal.

Lately he seems off his food, only having a few mouthfuls at any meal but I try to give him snack, fruit, yoghurt etc to fill him up a bit. I do think he might be hungry, he's a big boy, but he's refusing milk too.

I'm aware he's teething and struggling with it, he's very clingy all day.

So basically I'm done in. I can barely function and am snappy and grumpy at my other 2.

I think I need to start controlled crying, unless someone ca suggest anything else that might help. I'm prepared to have a few more nights of hell if something will work!

Anyone? Please?

cluckyagain Sat 19-Sep-09 08:16:12

Poor you - I remember it well. I did do CC and it worked well.....except for through teething, which I think frankly is fair enough! Make sure you're dosing LO - I found neurofen better as it lasts 8 hours. Once they were dosed again, the cc (gentle by this age as I had already done it for several months blush) worked. I knew once my LO was just overtired as opposed to in pain and acted accordingly. IT WILL PASS!

pippel Sat 19-Sep-09 08:18:53

I did cc with dd1 but if you cant face it I would suggest reading the no cry sleep solution I did this with dd2 from birth to try and avoid cc and she sleeps like a baby! grin

Besom Sat 19-Sep-09 08:22:26

How do you settle him initially when he first goes to bed? Are you feeding him every time he wakes up at night?

kitkat9 Sat 19-Sep-09 08:29:03

No - had actually started up the dream feed again in a bid to get him through from about 10.30 till the morning, and it was working, at least until about 5am, so he was asleep for a good long stretch. Then a few nights ago he started refusing that feed and that's when things started to go pear shaped.

When he first goes down he's usually asleep already or very drowsy, and I'll soothe him in his cot till he drifts off. I would rather put him down awake, obv.

Besom Sun 20-Sep-09 09:53:57

Kit kat - if you can't face cc then definitely get the no cry sleep solution. However, be aware that none of the methods in there will work particularly quickly.

If you do decide to do cc then the following is what we did with dd;

do a bed time routine, the same thing every night in the same order so bath, same song with actions in the bath, then feed, then get dressed and read the same book every night. Then same verbal cue, like 'night night sleep tight' or whatever.

Have him awake when you put him in the cot. With my dd we spent a few nights soothing her to sleep once in cot by patting her, bouncing mattress etc. It sounds as if you do this anyway but we needed to break the feeding to sleep connection first.

Then, the object for a few nights was not to get her out of her cot at all but just to soothe her back to sleep when woke in the night. This was hard work because it sometimes took like an hour. Over the course of the week we did a bit of a gradual withdrawal, so after a couple of nights, trying to be in the room to soothe but not so much physical contact. Again this was mainly because we were feeding her every time she woke so it was to break that connection. You may not need to do this so much.

Some people use the gradual withdrawing method successfully without having to do the cc. The object would be to move further and further away from the cot every night and eventually to move outside the door.

Then when we finally did the cc we did it rapidly, so out for 1 min, back in, then out for 3 mins and never more than 3 although we only went in and out if she was crying, not if she was just gurning or whingeing because this meant she was getting herself off to sleep. We also were cheerful and reassuring when we went back in (you are sometimes told not to make eye contact or speak when doing cc but we did) and only went into the room for a very short time (like 20 seconds). It only every took about 15 minutes of doing this and only for a few nights before she was settling herself quite quickly and sleeping through. The object here is to be outside of the room when they go to sleep. There was a vast improvement even after the first night.

Don't do it though unless it's right for you. I still wish I hadn't had to resort to it but I was terribly desperate.

Keep posting if you like and let us know how you're getting on.

I remember what it feels like.

alypaly Sun 20-Sep-09 09:57:09

do you talk to him when he wakens at night

jazzandh Sun 20-Sep-09 14:18:59

That kind of waking possibly means overtired from earlier disruptions - teething etc. IME it builds up, and then you get more wakings etc.....

Try putting LO to bed VERY early for a few nights. It can take several days for them to catch up with sleep.

With DS, I could track how overtired he was by when wake-ups were. In the first 3 hours of going to bed - very overtired, then it would get later in the night.

You may have to put up with a couple of early mornings, but that is better than all night wakings. Just persevere.

Best of luck.

kitkat9 Mon 21-Sep-09 11:15:57

yep, would take early starts over getting up every hour with him - even if he'd go through until 5.30am, that'd be ok.

Besom, thanks for your post. When he's over this teething bout I'm going to start putting him down when he's still awake. I have done this for naps before so I know he can settle himself!

The teething is really what's making things sooooooo much worse atm. His poor wee bum is red raw, and every time he pees or poos it's obv stinging him and upsets him. Got unbleached nappies, bepanthen and sudicrem to try to help him.

There's no way I'm starting cc while he's out of sorts - he needs me too much and I need to comfort him. I do plan to begin as soon as he's clearly better though. Did it with ds1 and it worked well (5 years ago!).

Thanks for all the messages.

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