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can my 10mo sleep through or am i delusional?

(12 Posts)
janek Fri 18-Sep-09 11:17:30

i have always fed dd2 when she woke in the night, she could settle herself, but she kept me awake while she was doing it, so for short-term expediency's sake i just fed her (although not back to sleep, it just helped her settle).

recently i realised that this is not a long term plan AT ALL, especially as i would like to move her in with DD1 soon.

so, i have been patting her back to sleep at night. it started working quite well, but she has never slept longer than 5.30, although when i feed her she does then go back to sleep, and i have also been known to feed her at 4.15 (although, again she goes back to sleep and doesn't wake till 6.30)

so, is there something i'm missing, or is this just what i have to do for the time being? do i need to leave her to cry? we did controlled crying with dd1, and it worked within 3 nights, but she had been sleeping really badly. or is she hungry? DD1 could sleep through at her age AND at her weight (19lbs). she has two naps during the day, and settles well for them, and when she goes to bed.

any advice appreciated.

winogal Fri 18-Sep-09 11:40:08

Hi Janek. I've got a 10 month old as well, and he was regularly waking once, sometimes twice in the night until quite recently. I had got into the habit of giving him a bottle when he woke but someone pointed out that they really should not need feed during the night, and if you do, you just promote a vicious circle whereby their tummies come to expect a feed at that time. So I stopped feeding him and just picked him up and gave him a cuddle when he woke and cried. That worked, he'd then settle back to sleep. It was only when I moved him into his own room that he stopped waking (well, sometimes he still does, but it's just for a minor squak and then he goes back to sleep). Not sure any of this helps you, but I'm sure you'll get a good night's sleep soon!

Best of luck.

janek Fri 18-Sep-09 20:20:44

thanks, it didn't occur to me, just to give her a cuddle. how silly. i think i was thinking that it's a cardinal sin to get a baby out of their cot, but i do have to grab her sleeping bag and drag her round before i pat her to sleep cos she's always at a jaunty angle in the cot. perhaps a cuddle would be more loving than a drag. i'll give it a go...

and i was wondering if her own (shared with big sis) room might make a difference. i was also wondering whether i cared because i am very ready for her to vacate our room now. i'm just a bit afraid that she'll wake the big one and all hell will break loose, every night. because i'm the only person in the world with two children grin.

ilovespagbol Fri 18-Sep-09 21:07:55

Agree with winogal, have heard also that you can try giving with water and once they cotton on tha they don't get a feed they don't wake up.

janek Fri 18-Sep-09 21:20:31

yeah, the water thing would cause more of a hoohah than it solves i think. she has never had a bottle, so there's no real reason why she should know what to do with one in the middle of the night, and she thinks she's so brilliant when she drinks from a cup, especially when she fountains in out of her mouth. we could all be saturated. although a bottle would give her something to suck i suppose. perhaps i will try it. i have always poo pooed the idea before, but maybe it could work, it's not like she need sustenance from it. i hope.

twinklingfairy Sun 20-Sep-09 16:56:49

I found the move to get my nearly 11mo DS in with DD was not nearly as bad as I had feared.
In fact last night DS was restless for nearly an hour sometimes really shouting and DD (3yo) didn't even stir!
They have been in together for 3 months now though, it seems to havetaken that time for the older one to get to that level of not fussing.

DS did take the cup once with no bother but he was on a nursing strike at the time and prob real thirsty.
I am the same as you and a real softy for just giving in and giving a feed.
Norm at 5am I get DS in with me cos nothing else will work.
DD also slept through by now. I have just given in, this is sooo much better than the 2 hourly he had got himself into when he was still in with me.

So, if you don't mind, I will folllow this thread and hope it gives me some answers toosmile

janek Sun 20-Sep-09 19:14:47

i'm not so much a softy as an eejit - i really should have stopped feeding her at night a long time ago, before she got big enough for me to worry that she might be hungry again.

Thanks for the comforting bedroom-sharing story TF.

update - i tried giving her a bottle of water - i was right, she had not a clue what to do with it, and it just made her cry. so i cuddled her, while she made the odd sucking noise. and then i thought 'what the hell' so i rocked her till she seemed to be asleep (can't be sure though, cos it was dark). but when i put her down she cried again. so i picked her up, cuddled her, tried the bottle again, and cuddled her some more while she sucked my shoulder.

in the end i gave her some milk, i tried just one side (the least milky, least favourite) and put her down, but no, waaah, so i gave her the other side too and she went down without a murmer. and she wasn't asleep because the whole debacle took best part of 45 mins. she was just satisfied.

so here's the question - is she hungry after all? answers gratefully received.

Restrainedrabbit Sun 20-Sep-09 19:20:37

I've had a similar problem with DS who is HUGE (93rd centile), got into the habit of feeding him when he woke in the night (once a night usually) as it was so much easier to just feed him back to sleep. However last week I decided enough was enough and he didn't need the feed any more (has two BF during the day) and went cold turkey, I also cut his sleep back during the day so no more than 2 hours in total. Had 3 nights of sheer hell but he has (fingers crossed) slept through the last 3 nights so hopefully this is it grin

ilovespagbol Sun 20-Sep-09 21:24:19

I really don't think its hunger - my DD on 98th percentile and cries sometimes when dinner is over as she loves her food so much but she doesn't wake in the night for a feed. Your DD loves everything about a night feed, warm milk, warm mum, wants not to like? So if she wakes and gets it she will continue to. Have you tried No Cry Sleep Solution as that has some tips?

janek Tue 22-Sep-09 19:36:28

thanks people, i don't want to be cruel to her, but the way it's going we're going to end up doing cc, which won't be much fun.

thank you so much for the reassurance that she isn't hungry. the health visitor today suggested feeding her later and later each night. i might try that. i'm scared of cold turkey. but on friday night she and i are moving into dd1's room (some friends will be staying over in my room) and on saturday night i am moving back, alone, no dd2, so perhaps that will be the cold turkey night.

i am scared, but at the same time hopeful of a good night's sleep...

1of4 Wed 23-Sep-09 14:49:57

some babbies really do still need a feed early in the morning. I had an early waker, (every day from about 5am)If I gave him a feed he (normally) went back to sleep for an hour or two. Someone (helpfully!) pointed out he doesn't need a feed at that age so I stopped them - big big mistake (for us- I realise not for everyone) He never went back to sleep without the early morning feed and was always VERY grumpy until breafast. One day, while trying to change his nappy, I noticed that he was shaking all over. The penny finally sank in. Both my husband and I can get hypoglycaemia after a big exercise session, unless we have something to eat we start shaking - just like my boy. A big cup of milk seemed to just tide him over until breakfast, and sometimes allowed him to drop back to sleep.
At 4 years he still is starving first thing in the morning and still very grumpy until he gets his HUGE bowl of porridge.

staranise Wed 23-Sep-09 21:18:22

5.30 is not that early for a first feed - what time does she go down at night? My older DDs have always only slept 7pm-6am ish and they wake up starving. They share a room and never wake each other up though it helps that DD1 i a very sound sleeper. IMHO, children sleep better when sharing a room as they like to have someone else there when sleeping.

Am off to bed myself now to try and get some kip before tonight's battle of wills...

Last night was our third night in a row with no sleep, thanks to trying to stop our 10 month old DS1 BFing throughout the night. I've always fed on demand, at nighttime too, but he was feeding up to 3 times a night so I decided it was time to stop by getting DH to walk him round/settle him, which worked for our older DCs. After a few nights they stopped waking up when they realised there was no milk on offer.

DS1 doesn't seem to have worked this out yet, hence the screaming and general wide-awake-babyness from 1am til 5am...

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