do you think it would be possible for me to go out for the evening when I feed ds to sleep and co-sleep?

[barbareebaa]

How?
My brother is going to be 40 in november when my lovely ds will be almost a year old. I really would like to go to my brothers 'do' - haven't been out for the evening since ds arrived.
no-one else has ever settled ds to sleep, he won't take a bottle. I can shush pat ds to sleep if he wakes before I go to bed but screams the house down if dh tries.
TBH I don't expect I can go and have really accepted that I am going to be staying in for the foreseeable but are there any other co-sleepers out there that get the odd evening out? How do you do it?
TIA
B

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

I usually end up going out quite late (past 8:30-9), and getting absolutely hammered as I'm trying to make up for lost time!

Can't dh start doing bedtime routine now, with you there so that by November they'll both be fine with you going away?

You know, it will not kill your ds if he is left with daddy for one evening - you need some time off too! I abandoned left both my breastfed/co-slept dc in the capable hands of their father and my jolly good mate, and they were fine - but then dd (6 months) will take a bottle and ds (2 and a half) does not need nursing to sleep.

You could also try stopping nursing to sleep - Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" has good techniques, and if you start now you might just be able to leave your ds by November.

[duedec2]

Wow! You're a very devoted mother! We had a period of co-sleeping this summer, when my baby was c.6 months old and we went on a holiday that involved so much travelling and so many different cots that he ended up sleeping with us ... and I ended up going to bed early so he would sleep. People were very disapproving, which I thought was crap of them ... BUT it was a royal relief when we got home and he quickly adjusted to being back in his (co-sleeper, attached to bed) cot. I couldn't possibly have gone out in those days, would have felt cruel, but I can now, which I like ... But I see how nice your way of doing things is. What is my point? Oh yes, could you slowly slowly get your son used to being comforted back to sleep by your husband? It would be nice to both of them ultimately ... and you will probably have the best night of yr life! Freedom! It's so nice getting back to a baby after an evening out.

[missjackson]

I am in the same boat with my 8 m.o. You just need ONE other method of getting him off to sleep. We discovered that DS will go to sleep if he is rocked relentlessly. We can squeeze him into his moses basket (which has a rocker) on top of a big sheepskin, rock him to sleep and then move him into cot by picking up the sheepskin at either end.

If you can't rock him to sleep, does he sleep in his buggy? For one evening it can't hurt for him to sleep there, in the hall or kitchen or wherever, after a walk.

You will burn out if you are the only one who can get him to sleep. Feed him, hand over to DH and go out or turn the music up so you can't hear the crying! He knows DH loves him and is there for him. It won't hurt him.

Good luck x

[JustCutAndPaste]

Ds3 is 14 1/2 m and so far I have only gone out when I have already got him to sleep. But I do remember doing it with ds2 at a younger age as I was teaching in the evenings. It was about once a fortnight. I think he adjusted to dp putting him to bed pretty well. But I agree with tafka and missjackson that it might be best to start trying now so that they are both used to it by the time your brother's do comes round.

Elizabeth Pantley's books have some good ideas (and they are not as prescriptive as other parenting books, rather focussing on you working out the best solution for your family rather than a 'one size fits all').

good luck

[barbareebaa]

Wow - thanks for all your suggestions and lovely responses! Problem is with the 40th do (which I failed to mention...) is dh is playing in the band so he gets to go anyway!!
I think I may be getting a little ahead of myself to think someone else could settle him when dh hasn't been able to yet!
But even if I miss the do I will work towards an evening out near Christmas where dh can stay home - so will put your suggestions into practise over the next few weeks!
Our neighbours have been a bit unsupportive with the crying which is not helping and dh is lacking a bit in confidence. Perhaps I need to back off a bit and let him find his own way.
Will certainly look up the books mentioned!
Thanks again