Leaving 9mo BF baby with dad for 3 nights?(5 Posts)
I've been back at work since DS was 5mo - he goes to a childminder 4 days a week where he now has one bottle of formula in the afternoon, rest of the time he's BF (stopped regularly expressing when he was 6.5 mo).
I've got the opportunity to go on a 3 day trip abroad with work mid to late October when DS will be 9mo (we usually go once every year or so). Trouble is he's still being BF at least once during the night and waking up usually twice, more when he's teething. DP has tried to take over and give a bottle (both formula and EBM)in the night and also sometimes at bedtime in order to give me a break but he will rarely take it and just cries. The only time he managed to get him to sleep was after 2 hours crying when I deliberately stayed at work late and then he woke an hour or so later.....
So...... should I a) just bite the bullet and go away leaving DP to cope with DS going cold turkey on the breast (seems really cruel), b) try over the next 6 weeks to get him used to the odd bottle by getting DP to feed him more often or c) just not go away?
I'm not too bothered to be honest about not going - would rather put DS first but if it's an opportunity to get DP more involved in night- time care should we both make the effort and go for option b)? Is it worth it or should I just wait until DS is ready to drop night feeds himself?
I went away with work for 4 nights when DS was 7 months and left him with DH. He always happily took a bottle of ebm so it wasn't quite the same situation as yours (I had to express TONS before I went), but there was one good outcome and one bad outcome:
DH became much more confident looking after him on his own - well, he was thrown in at the deep end so didn't have much choice! But since then he was much more happy to look after DS on his own - much more so than most of our friends partners which has been great for us all really.
I had terrible problems expressing milk while I was away to the extent that I only managed to express about 50mls the whole time. I was in agnony. For some reason it just wouldn't come out. Milk came back fine when I got home but was pretty traumatic.
I chose (c). Only you and your DP can make this choice. You should also factor in the engorgement you will have if you don't express while you're away. Even though he's only feeding once a night, I bet he's having 4 feeds a day.
I think baby would cope fine with (a) or (b) actually but from your point of view you will be better off with (c) - you will be massively engorged and uncomfortable after 3 days unless you spend plenty of time locked away expressing so your work trip would probably be pretty tough for you.
Thanks for responses, not had chance to check back until today.
Nothing's been booked at work yet (boss a bit clack) so hopefully won't have to make a decision at least for a while as I doubt it'll be October now - we're too busy.
Looks like c) is a goer anyway. Glad everyone thought I wasn't a wuss for not wanting to leave him!!!
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