Won't go to sleep in the evenings anymore???(31 Posts)
Hi I'm new to Mumsnet and was hoping someone can help me!!
My dd is 7 weeks old and will not settle in the evenings anymore. I've been following the GF routine since she was 3 weeks old and this worked a treat. She was going to sleep by 7pm everynight. HOWEVER, as mentioned, she suddenly will not settle. I bath and feed her at the exact same times but when i go to put her in her moses basket she wakes fully and cries. I have resorted to putting her on our bed (which is where she sleeps in the day for naps because again she won't go in the basket). DH and I also have to let her suck on our finger until she falls asleep. Infact DH was up there til 8.40 this evening.
can anyone suggest what might have gone wrong? Please help as i am now starting to feel quite depressed and desperate and feel like i'm losing control. - By the way, she usually wakes at between 6-7 am BUT today woke at 5am!!!
I don't remember quite well how the routine worked for that age, but I think that the problem may be helped by reviewing her late aftrnoon nap, which may be done by sligthly advacnicing iy or by reducing a few minutes. If she is waking hungry that early in the mornng probably it would help to giver her a longer 2-3 am feed.+
She might be going through a growth spurt, meaning she wants more milk in the evenings, this would also tie in with the earlier waking.
She might also want a dummy, because of the finger sucking thing, it depends how you feel about those really. Mine was a godsend.
With the moses basket thing, have you tried putting the basket on your bad? Or heating the sheets up to bosy temperature before you put her in it?
Sorry if all this sound silly or obvious to you, I remember how much I used to struggle to find the reason for my sons crying and my heart went out to you when you said you felt desperate!
putting baby in your bed : do NOT go there! you will live to regret it!!!!!!
I also found that my DD suddenly stopped settling in an evening and it also happened to alot of my friends with their babies which made me think it wasn't unusual. It was known as the witching hour in our house although usually went on alot longer. I just kept on doing what I had been doing and eventually she started settling again. Would recommend you keep your usual bedtime routine keep smiling and accept it as a stage she's going through.
Hope that helps.
Thank you for the tips. Already I'm starting to feel abit positive with new ideas!
With regards to her naps - because she is waking at odd times now, the whole daily routine is dictated by this time. So sleeps and feeds are every 2 hours and three hours respectively, ie if she wakes at 6am and feeds then the rest of the day she will feed at 9am, 12, 3pm etc and this is where the problem is getting out of hand. her naps are also only 1 hour each - including the mid day. She never sleeps more then this.
We did use to give her dummies but at one point she started to reject them. Maybe we should try these again - would save our little fingers from looking like dried up prunes!!
LoubieLou - it helps to know that others have been through the same! - not that i wish anyone else to have to.
My eldest ds took 4 months to get used to dummies. But as someone else said, they were a godsend.
Have you thought it may be colic? 6/7 weeks is a prime time for this to start. Are you using infacol or colief?
...and I'm sorry if I am going to be flamed by the GF fan club but.... in my experience, although GF has a lot of good ideas, her insistence on rigid schedules just makes for depressed and anxious mothers and fretful babies. In the first few months babies are undergoing a lot of new experiences and I really don't see how they can be expected to stick to a rigid schedule! As long as you follow a few self-imposed rules (which were for me: put the baby down awake so they learn to fall asleep themselves; swaddle them when tiny; sleeping bags when a bit older; err.. forgot the rest) the baby will gradually fall into a routine. It was about 10 weeks before my 2 had a proper 7pm bedtime. But they are both pretty great sleepers now (aged 5 and 13 months) and have been since about 5 months.
I just wished someone had warned me because at first thought I was doing something wrong/different. Then when I mentioned it to other people they all went yeah mine did that too. In fact my best friend is going through the same thing with her DD at the moment.
With regards to GF I found it alittle too strict so did my own thing but her advice of always waking them at the same time every morning really worked for me.
my ds was about 10 weeks before he settled easily at night - when we moved him into his big cot in his own room. Also gave him a bottle of ebm before he went to sleep - fed him so much that he was drunk with milk - but he went out like a light. Its v early days for you so don't stress yourself about it. The routines are going to change every couple of weeks for the next year - so just as you get used to one set of timings the next week it all changes!!
By the way - we had ds in bed with us on and off for the first year and he has always been a good sleeper. So don't worry about it - anyhting for a 'good' nights sleep is worth it.
That's the best thing with GF IMO - take from it what you want and don't be bullied into the rest. Of course routines are valuable, but ones that suit you, not a nursery nurse who doesnt have to do anything else other than care for children!
You are so right. GF has got some basic good ideas but one has to be flexible with it.
With regards to moving her into her nursery, what are peeps views on this. I kind would like to try it but feel bad that she might still be too young - and isn't it risky in terms of SIDS
Well, 'they' say you shoudl keep them with you until 6 months. But I didn't. And a friend of mine with impeccable children put them in a cot in a separate room from the very start.
'They' also say you shouldn't feed solids until 6 months. But only a couple of years ago 'they' were saying 4 months. And when I was a child 'they' said something like 7 weeks!
Forget what 'they' say and do what feels right for you.
Have just seen your other thread and would strongly recommend you throw that GF book in the bin as you seem to be worrying too much that DD is not following the routine you want her too. I definatly aggree that a routine is a good thing but maybe you should let your DD guide you alittle bit more and hopefully you'll meet somewhere in the middle and feel alot happier.
Also with the not settling DH and I took it in turns so he would do half an hour and then I'd take over etc that way the crying wasn't constant. Just try not to take it personally DD isn't doing to spite you, keep repeating it too yourself
Just sold my CLBBook on Ebay. Got £5.99 for it!
i didn't know GF was just a nursery nurse. i thought she was a MW? interesting!!
No she's not a midwife. And she doesn't live with kids day in day out and suffer the hard grind.... She believes that the expereince of being invited into homes to look after children when the parents need help gives her a much greater insight into sleep, eating and other baby/toddler issues than mere parents could ever offer. However whenever you read her 'case studies' they always seem to involve huge houses with lots of rooms, along the lines of "I sent the parents to sleep on the third floor while I coped with the nightime wakings in the nursery"
It will be a phase. Babies have them all the time. It's not because you are doing anything wrong. She might be hungrier because she is growing, so she'll need more frequent feeds, or it might be for no real reason. I think feeling like you have to be in control is understandable but pointless and likely to lead to more misery, not less. You might feel happier following her lead and going with the flow more. And I STRONGLY disagree that it is disastrous to let a baby sleep in your bed - babies change all the time. NOthing is set in stone yet.
And yes, it is a SIDS risk to put your baby in another room. Nobody knows quite why, but it is. It's always your call of course, but it does increase the possibility of cot death. I'd rather like to put dd in another room, but I'm going to stick with it for a bit longer because of the risk factor.
I can imagine the live style you're talking about. I was an Au-pair in the states years ago i never had to deal with sleep dep etc. i just fed them and played with them and basically followed the routine that the mother set - no worries!
DD doesn't actually sleep with us. I move her into the basket after her 10.30 feed (which i should be giving her now!!!)because she'll go into it now for the rest of the night. Probably because she is so deep in sleep, she doesn't realize?
i'm starting to feel better that this is a phrase and she will change all the time
That is the ONLY thing you can absolutely guarantee with babies!
Thank you for all your kind and helpful words last night. I went to sleep feeling abit more reassured and with less weight on my shoulders.
Hope I can help you guys out one day!!
This evenings update!!
i put her in her moses basket at 7.20pm and she hasn't stirred - touch wood!!
I think it is a combination of several suggestions!!
* Moses basket on bed
* tweeked the routine and naps
* Totally blacked out the room - we already had black out blinds but the light was coming in through the gaps
* DH downloaded white noise onto a cd!!
* Cluster fed towards the end of the day.
I know this is only the first night but I still want to say thank you to each and every one of you.
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