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basic questions re co-sleeping

(4 Posts)
Aldegirl Mon 31-Aug-09 11:08:05

Hey all, of late I've been considering co-sleeping with my ds (6 months) sue to long and complex family sleep patterns which I won't go into.

I have a few basic questions about co-sleeping and would really appreciate advice/personal experiences/opinions from people who cosleep with their babies. All fairly practical, don't want to enter into any heavy debates. Here goes:

1) Does it mean that you have to go to sleep at the same time as your baby (7pm or whatever)?

2) If not: do you settle the baby and leave as if s/he were in a cot? And don't they wake up when you get back into bed later or during the night?

3) What about sex?? Does it just have to happen somewhere else than in bed with baby asleep?

4) Does your dp also sleep with you and baby? Mine would really struggle as is superlight sleeper, wanted to hear how others deal with dp in/out of cosleeping bed

5) How do night feeds work? HAve heard mums say they hardly wake up for feeds and babies "help themselves", but can't see how that would work, even with feeding lying down how do you switch sides without moving the baby or yourself?

As you see very basic stuff, hope numbered questions don't seem a bit retentive but thought it would make for easier answering.

Thanks all in advance:-)

Indith Mon 31-Aug-09 11:32:16

1) No, some people settle the baby in bed and leave it (you need to make sure your co-sleeping arrangements are completely safe of course, that he can't get under your duvet, roll out of bed etc), some people put the baby down in a cot and take it to bed and take it to bed when it wakes for a feed later on. some people just have the baby snoozing with them downstairs in a sling/crib or whatever until they go to bed.

2) The baby will often stir when you go to bed but not always wake, if they do wake a bit then it is easy to feed back to sleep while you doze off.

3) You can have sex in bed without waking the baby but we generally went to the spare room, sofa or wherever (not that it was a frequent issue <searches for sex drive>)

4) Dh did (baby to the other side of me) but he sleeps through everything!

5) They do just help themselves, or you just wake enough to latch them on and then doze off again. I think it is one of those things that you'll know what people mean when you've done it.

And I've probably cross posted loads because my computer restarted itself randomly mid post but somehow managed to save it hmm

phdlife Mon 31-Aug-09 11:42:45

we did some fairly ad-hoc co-sleeping but I can give you a rough idea how -

1) I used to settle ds on our bed - usually on top of all covers - at his bedtime, with a bed guard on one side and a line of pillows (shoved under the duvet) on the other. This was not failsafe - he did once fall off the end of the bed blush.

2) He would stir when we were getting ready for bed, but he usually wanted a feed then so would go off to sleep. For a while I could even put him in his cot at this point, but I gave that up when we got into Teething Hell.

3) Sex? I guess we did do it at least once since we conceived dd while co-sleeping, but damned if I can remember how. blush

4) Dh stayed in with us. I think he sometimes found ds's sleep aerobics quite disturbing (lord knows I sure did).

5) I used to wake to latch, and I never figured out how to give the 'top' boob (if lying on side), so yes, I used to climb over ds in the night, and give dh a poke if ds was in between us (we had separate bedcovers and dh rolls himself up in his, so that was not an issue).

It was not ideal but the best option at the time. hth!

Supercherry Mon 31-Aug-09 14:54:21

1) That depends on whether you want to go to sleep the same time as your baby, and how you get your baby to sleep in the first place. If DS falls asleep with his milk then I wil pop him into his cot and take him into our bed when he wakes during the night. Sometimes the only way we can get him to sleep is to go to bed, in our bed with him, if it's early we then get back up. Takes about 30 mins usually.

2) DS wouldn't wake up by us getting into bed usually. Just try and be quiet.

3) Not really having sex at the moment as 7mths pregnant and really cannot be arsed but because DS will usually sleep some of the night in the cot then it's not a problem.

4) Sometimes all 3 of us share but it can get a bit uncomfortable in a double. If I had spare money I would buy the biggest bed possible to make it comfier for us all.

5) I didn't start co-sleeping until DS was older by which point had finshed breastfeeding so can't answer this one I'm afraid.

Good luck!

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