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I have had enough of non sleeping baby!! Help!

(16 Posts)
Kayzr Sat 29-Aug-09 18:39:49

My DS2 is 8mo. He used to sleep really well but these last 2 months have really gone downhill.

He won't go to sleep until we go to bed. We have been putting him in his cot at 7 at the same time DS1 goes up. DS2 seems to fall asleep until we leave the room. It is almost like there is some trigger and he wakes up and starts to scream.
We leave him sometimes but he wakes up DS1 and we have to try and get him back to sleep too.

If we wait until we go to be between 10 and 11 he goes straight to sleep.

Also 9 out of 10 nights he will wake up between 1 and 3. HV said to just go and say "shh" to him and leave him to cry. We've tried this but again he'll wake up his brother and the neighbours complained the other day that he woke them up at half 2. If we give him a bottle he goes straight back to sleep. But if we leave him then he generally doesn't go back to sleep for about 2 hours.

Along with DS1 waking at half 5 every morning(might start another thread) I feel exhausted. I have just gone back to work and I feel dead on my feet.

He eats well so we don't think he is actually hungry over night.

Any suggestions will be brilliant please!!

Thanks.

PS he is in his own room and doesn't share with DS1.

GwarchodwrPlant Sat 29-Aug-09 18:44:59

Have you tried a nice wind down routine for him such as:

5pm Dinner
5.30pm Bath
5.45pm Bottle, cuddles
6pm Bed

Then lay him down and gently stroke him, shush him but don't give him any eye contact and definately don't pick him up out of his cot unless he becomes hysterical. If he does then picl him up onto your shoulder and stroke/shush him until he calms down then place him back into his cot.

He doesn't need feeds during the night at this age. Forget the neighbours for a while- your priority is establishinh a good consistent bedtime routine with your DS where he learns that bedroom means bedtime.

They all go through phases of testing boundaries/routines you just have to be calm and consistent, even if it means for a few nights he screams the house down and you only get 2 hours sleep. It will be worth it when he settles back down into a proper routine again for you.

GwarchodwrPlant Sat 29-Aug-09 18:46:46

p.s I am speaking from experience as I have just been through the very same thing with my 11mth old DS! grin It's taken a few nights of hell but we are back to a good routine again!

Goodluck!

Kayzr Sat 29-Aug-09 18:47:37

Yeah we tried that. The HV came to ours and showed us this whole routine. We were following the Gina Ford one but that seems to have made no difference.

HV says it is a phase he is going through and to come back if he isn't sleeping through by 1yo.

But will happily try it again just for a bit of peace.

Kayzr Sat 29-Aug-09 18:49:54

MIL said we have caused this problem by having him in our room until he was 6 months old. Did we or is she loony?grin

GwarchodwrPlant Sat 29-Aug-09 18:53:06

There is nothing wrong with having him in your room but yes it can make it harder for them to learn to sleep by themselves afterwards, 'tis only natural.

I've co-slept and breast fed my DS for the past 11mths so if I can do it with a firmly entrenched co-sleeping/breast obsessed DS then I'm sure you can ride this phase out with your LO. wink

Kayzr Sat 29-Aug-09 18:57:06

See DS1 slept through from 8 weeks and that was that. I am not used to this non sleeping nonsense!!

He is asleep in his highchair(wierd child) I am tempted to take him up to bed now.

StainlessSteelCat Sun 30-Aug-09 08:22:36

Logged on to post very similar cry for help! My 6 month old DD seems unable to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time at night - and usually won't settle unless I BF. Combined with 3 year old DS leaping out of bed at 5:30 every morning, I feel like I can barely function.

We have just come back from a holiday, and I'm hoping that when we settle back into a routine, especially at night time, that will help her. I'm finding that I'm so tired that when she wakes up in the middle of the night I'm feeding her back to sleep because my frazzled brain can't think of any other options.

Good luck Kayzr, and my sympathy, even though I have no better advice

waitinggirl Sun 30-Aug-09 08:37:48

kayz, stainless - with you on this. i've just posted to ask for recommended sleep consultant, as we also can't think straight.

gwar...plant - good to hear you are out the other side. how long do you do the stroking/picking up? until asleep? and then what do you do in the middle of the night? iu, too, can only think of bfing, but am now a human dummy. am so confused.

mummyandbaby Sun 30-Aug-09 19:52:20

Does your DS nap well during the day? I also have an 8month old DS who has slept through every night since 14 weeks. Routine is so important. My DS has approx 1hr sleep in morning and 2.5hrs at lunchtime. He's in bed and asleep by 7.30pm. Sounds like your DS may be overtired and confused by the lack of routine. He should not need a feed during the night if he has eaten well during the day. I would concentrate on the day naps first and hold out giving him a bottle at night. Maybe offer water instead. You really do have to be consistent but it does work.

GwarchodwrPlant Sun 30-Aug-09 20:24:50

waitinggirl The time I spend shush/patting him has reduced and so have the tears. He just has a quick grumble now when I place him in his cot and the amount of time I spend with him depends on how tired he is so between 2-20mins. I try to sneak out quietly as soon as he closes his eyes. Next week I will stop the shush/pat and will just sit next to his cot, gradually moving further away.

He doesn't cry anymore although I still have to get up about once during the night and a couple more times in the early hours just to re-settle him but it doesn't take long. I'm working on it though.

The hardest time is when he wakes up at 4am, I really have to fight the desire to bjust bring him into our bed and try to remind myself of the long-term goal!

Kayzr Sun 30-Aug-09 21:04:32

He doesn't have a lack of routine. He has a routine which he sticks to perfectly until bedtime. He naps for about 45 minutes in the morning and about 2 hours in the afternoon. Though I have seen a tooth today so wondering if this has made him grumpy and this is why he doesn't want to sleep.

We're going to bring his bedtime forward by 15 minutes every other night.

BarrelOfMonkeys Mon 31-Aug-09 19:36:20

Is it separation anxiety? Has he got a comfort-object or could you try introducing one?

mummyandbaby Mon 31-Aug-09 19:40:56

If he wakes up too late in the afternoon, that may affect his bedtime. My DS sleeps no later than 3pm. I am glad he is now sleeping in the day as I seem to remember in a thread a while back, he did not nap much.

Kayzr Mon 31-Aug-09 20:16:31

I'm not sure if it is separation anxiety. But I actually think it might be. He refuses to be left alone during the day, earlier I even resorted to taking him to the toilet with me just so he wouldn't scream the house down. HV is rubbish and has only said that all babies go through it and he'll grow out of it by 30 months. But unsure on the introducing the comfort-object as I have seen so many people desperatly searching for one they have lost and their DC won't eat, sleep etc without it.

He usually naps from half 12 to half 2. The thing is he will happily fall asleep on the floor in the evening but just not upstairs. I hadn't thought it could be separation problems.

tenacityflux Mon 07-Sep-09 20:12:33

How the hell do you get your babies to nap for that long? Mine has never slept for more than 45 mins no matter what I do and the nights are terrible.

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