My 2 and 3 year olds are up playing silly beggars until 9.30 every night at the moment and its driving me insane

[padboz]

I start the bedtime routine thats always been our rock at the same time I always did 6pm bath, milk, PJ's bed in blackout curtained room, 3 stories, same Mozart music on every night, heads stroke for a few minutes, then night night around 7. Its been perfectly good since they were newborns.

Doesn't bloody work anymore.

Hasn't for weeks

They're in the same room and they get in and out of each others beds, fight, play with anything and everything, cry, giggle, shout, run about, come downstairs saying they're not tired (when they're in bits), demand drinks, open the curtains, demand the toilet, and generally refuse to be in bed.

I'm up and down the stairs for 2-3 hours every single night now and I have run out of ideas.

What does one do in the face of open defiance at bedtime that doesnt make the screaming and tension worse?

I'm going to put them out with the recycling if it goes on much longer.

[janestillhere]

Welcome to the club.

I used to smugly declare 'oh my dd is in bed for 7pm and sleeps through'

Now I am paying.

Sometimes shes still fighting with her db at 9.45pm

Do you think someone will arrive and tell us it gets easier?

[padboz]

[pinkteddy]

I presume its not feasible to separate them? Is it worth trying to put one of them to bed before the other one for a bit to try and break the cycle?

Also I wouldn't engage in any conversation, try not to put the light on when you go back in there and just keep putting them back to bed. Just keep saying bedtime now, put them back in bed. Maybe don't go downstairs either at first, wait outside so response is quicker. Eventually they will get the message though it might take a while to begin with! Be consistent - I know easier said than done but I think it will work eventually. Good luck!

[padboz]

if I put them bodily back in bed I get shrieks of fury and floor thumping legs kicking tantrums. Gah. T-4 hours.....

[GivePeasAChance]

It really is just a phase. Keep consistent and strong and it will pass.

[padboz]

Can I turn to drinking please? Its driving me crackers.

[robino]

I'd suggest trying slightly different bedtimes too. My 2.5 and 1yr old are tricky when put to bed at the same time (and they're both still in cots) but if I put one up first (whichever is the most tired) and then deal with the other it usually works. 'Tis a PITA because I usually do bedtime by myself but I sometimes get them both to sleep by 6.45 using this method, it's usually far later if I try both at the same time.

Otherwise sitting on hands (with a G and T and a straw) chanting this too shall pass might be the only option. I sympathise because I suspect mine will end up like this too.

[justaphase]

Can you put one in your bedroom and then move him when you go to bed?

You may have to lock the door ....

To be honest, I just let DS (3.9) watch DVDs downstairs until he gets tired - usually around 9pm. We only start the bedtime routine at 7.30pm so that's about an hour of DVDs (he does not watch any at any other time). Works for me because I prepare dinner during that time and as we sit down to eat we put him to bed. Works for us ... for now.

[ches]

Have you tried a sticker chart/rewards? Should work for the older one and maybe she'll police the younger one. Also you could sit outside their room with a book or laptop and growl at the slightest sound of shenanigans.

[nappyaddict]

Do they have a nap in the daytime?

Is there anything in their diet that could be affecting their behaviour?

[sandcastles]

I agree with pinkteddy.

I would stay close (take a book/laptop read/mn on the landing) & each time they came out of the room, take them back, put them into bed. No convo, no eye contact, lights off.

Keep at it, I guess it will take longer with 2.

It may also be that the routine just no longer works as they have gotten older. I would cut out some stories to be honest, 3 may be too much & by the time you have finished, they could have their second wind, so to speak!

[duchesse]

"I'm up and down the stairs for 2-3 hours every single night now"

And that's exactly why they're doing it, the little monkeys.

Can you stagger their bedtime- say read a story to them both, then let the older one stay up playing for an extra half hour while the younger one settles. Divide and conquer! If the older one then plays up when being put to bed, there's always the threat of going back to the same bedtime to use against him/her.