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Why does ds wake for a feed an hour after going to sleep in the evening?

(4 Posts)
DailyHateMail Sun 16-Aug-09 18:45:06

Ds is 16 months.
He has a big supper at 6pm
Then evening / bedtime routine.
He feeds to sleep at around 8pm, a big feed.
Then he often wakes for milk at 11pm which is my call to go to bed, so that's fine.

What isn't fine is when he wakes for milk at around 9pm and wants to loll around on the boob for ages. I'm fed up. He can't really be hungry. He doesn't really need comfort because he's quite used to and happy sleeping by himself, and he's very tired at the end of the day. It means I get no evening. I think he just thinks it's rather nice to doze on the boob for the evening instead of actually going to sleep.

Has anyone else had this and successfully fixed it?

I don't think I'd be unreasonable to not feed him between say 8 and 11. The trouble is that I have to go when he wakes up crying, and once I'm there he won't settle without milk. And once he's feeding he doesn't want to stop and cries if I try and unlatch him and sneak off to have a glass of wine and an episode of Jonathan Creek.

When dh goes to him instead of me, ds is extremely unimpressed and works himself into a frenzy until he gets milk.

It's not every night. And it's funny because he's pretty laid back in most respects, and dh can get him to sleep no problems if I'm not around.

It's just this waking an hour after going to bed for the night that is a problem. I'm hoping for a nifty solution.

hayleybop Sun 16-Aug-09 20:39:56

Just try and be consistant and not offer any boob...he will soon learn that there's no point in waking up as he aint going to get anything....Good luck....maybe he's teething and just want to snuggle and suckel.

hairymelons Sun 16-Aug-09 22:37:40

God, sorry no nifty solutions. DS is 14mo and will settle for DH when he wakes but only if he has a nice warm bottle of cows milk with him. Still kicks up a fuss cos it's not boob but he settles eventually.

If your DS settles when you're not around, could DH do more bedtimes and then see to him if he wakes up an hour later? Can you bring yourself to pretend you're not there? It's hard to hear them cry but for me, if DS is with his dad it's ok for him to be upset, especially because over time he's got used to it and will now be settled by him in the night. It's really hard not to intervene cos it takes longer and involves a bit of crying with DH but it's a good thing in the long run.

If it's just the 8-11pm you want to keep sacred- and who doesn't FGS- the dr sear's and dr jay gordon websites might have some ideas you can adapt to your situation.

hairymelons Sun 16-Aug-09 22:37:49

God, sorry no nifty solutions. DS is 14mo and will settle for DH when he wakes but only if he has a nice warm bottle of cows milk with him. Still kicks up a fuss cos it's not boob but he settles eventually.

If your DS settles when you're not around, could DH do more bedtimes and then see to him if he wakes up an hour later? Can you bring yourself to pretend you're not there? It's hard to hear them cry but for me, if DS is with his dad it's ok for him to be upset, especially because over time he's got used to it and will now be settled by him in the night. It's really hard not to intervene cos it takes longer and involves a bit of crying with DH but it's a good thing in the long run.

If it's just the 8-11pm you want to keep sacred- and who doesn't FGS- the dr sear's and dr jay gordon websites might have some ideas you can adapt to your situation.

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