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6.5 month old non sleeping nightmare

(13 Posts)
kittypink Fri 14-Aug-09 13:24:05

Hia, I am having a complete nightmare with my DD not sleeping well at night. I feel like I am losing the plot and am having terrible mood swings which is not fair on anyone.

It goes kinda like this;

7pm -start bedtime routine
7.30/8pm -bottle then bed, usually sleeps quite soundly
10.30pm -bottle,falls asleep feeding
1-2am -starts being unsettled, waking often, give dummy back stroking and patting
3am -usually wakes
4am -usually wakes, wants to play
wakes often till time to get up.

She is often awake but crying with her eyes closed, trying to be asleep. we offer water and sometimes milk, although she rarely accepts it. She wants to be held with her dummy, which we obviously can't do all night.

We turned her cot into a sidecar bed so we could cuddle her but it seems to have got worse.

We have looked at the no-cry sleep solution which had some helpful ideas but didn't really fit our situation.

I phoned cry-sis and they recommend controlled crying, but I'm really not sure.

I need to do something though as I'm feeling less and less able to cope and I have an app with a psychiatrist who will undoubtedly give me anti-depressants.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

hairymelons Fri 14-Aug-09 15:30:53

Hi Kitty
I'm possibly the wrong person to be giving advice as we've had problems with DS's sleep since day one! He's 13mo now and is much, much improved but still not all the way there.

As you've read NCSS you'll be familiar with the theory that a baby that no longer needs night feeds physically may wake up frequently because they fall asleep whilst feeding/ being rocked etc. and expect the same when they surface from deep sleep several times a night.

All the experts seem to agree on this so I suppose the question is how you teach your LO to fall asleep by herself. It seems some babies figure this out early on, others need a shove in the right direction. I was never up for CC. We never felt like it was the right time as DS was ALWAYS teething or poorly, or both and it felt mean to leave him to cry when he was already distressed. However, this has meant that progress has been slow so if you need something that works quickly it may be worth considering.

The other thing to consider is that she may not be ready to go through the night without feeds just yet- I know they say after 6 months it's not necessary but in my mind, that's just an average. So some babies will be 2 months when they no longer want night feeds and some will be 10 months. And some will be much older.

Also, is it possible she's teething? And has this been her pattern for some time or have things improved/deteriorated at all?
You sound pretty exhausted and desperate. I had PND and high levels of anxiety and the lack of sleep definately did not help. AS CC was not an option for us, we decided to do other things to help me cope. DH started to take turns with me to settle and did more around the house to help. We also got a cleaner which is the best £15 a week I've ever spent. It's a stretch but so worth it.

Do you have friends or family that can help in the day so you can rest? It's only a short term boost but a few hours sleep can make the difference between just about coping and losing the plot.

Sorry it's so long, I could write tons more. DS is awake from his 10 minute nap so must dash but I'll try to think of more 'expert' advice whilst I'm up there!

kittypink Fri 14-Aug-09 15:50:51

Thanks hairymelons, it is possible that she is teething again, her first 2 came through a while ago but she has been drooling a lot recently.

I think trying to teach her to settle herself is the key, I'm just not sure how.

I'm considering putting her back in her cot as It has got worse since we put her with us, probably snoring keeping her awake!

I can see why you didn't want to try CC, I don't think I would in your situation, I hope its better for you now.

Its mad because sometimes I can put her in her cot sleepy and she will settle herself, so I know she can. It seems like as the night goes on she becomes more and more unsettled.

hairymelons Fri 14-Aug-09 20:46:47

The dr sears website has loads of suggestions, might be worth a look.
DS was the same, getting worse as the night progressed. I thought that the more sleep he'd had, the less tired he was so the easier he woke up. Who knows though, they are mysterious creatures!
Hope you find a solution soon

kittypink Fri 14-Aug-09 21:31:52

Thank you so much, I will check that out now.

kittypink Fri 14-Aug-09 22:20:17

That is such a good site! Thank you so much.

hairymelons Fri 14-Aug-09 23:15:59

I'd forgotten about it until now actually! Am heading back there myself for a refresher...

ches Sat 15-Aug-09 03:44:16

Have you tried changing her nappy (you try sleeping with a cold, wet bum) and giving more milk at 1am/3am? 6 month growth spurt and all that....

biddy1902 Mon 17-Aug-09 22:27:53

Oh I really feel for you. I know exactly what it is like. I have a son who is six months old and is basically sleeping in the same pattern as your baby - and it took its toll on me last week. I got really down and started being really anixious about even going to sleep myself, because I knew I would be wakened in a few hours.

I cant tell you how to get your baby to sleep because my son still doesnt sleep but I did make a point of getting my mum to come and stay for two nights to give me a break and try and get a little bit of a break. It really helped and has perked me up again. My husband is a farmer and hardly ever in at this time of the year but honestly take all the support you can. Even just to go and get a really nice massage or something for a few hours for you.

I am basically going to just bring him into bed once he wakens as he sleeps in beside me and at least I will get a sleep too. I know this is not what we parents should be doing but hey not all mothers need to be perfect!!

Its not easy and you think that everyone elses kids sleep - well thats what they all tell you.

Have you tried Hipp Organic Bedtime milk? My son quite likes it and you get an extra half hour any how... Every little helps.

We can only pray for a few hours extra some night. Goodluck.

kittypink Mon 17-Aug-09 22:47:49

thanks biddy sympathies returned to you!

I have been using Hipp milk, I think it helps.

I have put DD in her own room, second night tonight. We realized that since moving her to a side car cot we had been waking her up by moving, just because she isn't used to it. I wish I'd known more about co-sleeping from the start because I would have definitely done it.

If you need re-assurance about co-sleeping look at the Dr sears website.

Having a break sounds lovely!

fluce Tue 18-Aug-09 08:15:32

My DS has never slept well - and the only way either of us can get a decent amount of sleep is to have him in with me. Cut yourself some slack - if you sleep you will more able to cope with the days!! I do worry that I might be building up problems for later but everyone reassures me it can be addressed when DS is older and more able to cope with separation. So despite initially being against co-sleeping I now think its a good idea for some parents.

hairymelons Wed 19-Aug-09 00:33:48

Fluce, biddy we co-slept for a long while because our son was a frequent waker too and it was the only way we could get a decent amount of sleep. DS went down in his moses basket/ cot until first wake up then was in with us because I'd fall asleep feeding him. And also couldn't be arsed getting up from my bed another 5 times in the night!
I'd never heard of co-sleeping so it was like my secret shame until I found the Dr Sear's website. Have a look if you're worried.
DS is now 13mo and prefers his cot to our bed so only comes in when poorly. So, don't worry about it, enjoy the co-sleeping cos it's lovely and won't be forever!

kittypink Wed 19-Aug-09 10:22:46

We had a little success last night, DD went to bad with very little fuss and actually settled herself back down a few times. We didn't need to pick her up at all and she was awake and playing in her cot this morning!

She still woke a lot and we were up and down, but I think she is getting used to her room. She has just gone down for her nap with no fussing at all.

I really wish co-sleeping had worked for us as I do miss waking up and seeing her little face, but it is good to have our room back to ourselves. I had really missed reading in bed!

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