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heavy heavy irony

(14 Posts)
frekkles Tue 11-Aug-09 02:17:02

My baby is 14 weeks, and is an OK sleeper, still waking 2 or three times a night. He was for the first 10 weeks just waking once a night at 4, and I got used to it. Then he started waking at 1 ad 6 again last week and I've been really angry and upset about it, crying when he wakes up and getting upset with him and then with me. Was to begin with trying just to send him back to sleep somehow without feeding, but after a few nights of success, each night turned into a battle ground and much screaming ensued. So I've tried accepting it the last couple of nights and just fed him and put him back to bed and he's happy and settles easily.

But the problem is that now I can't sleep! I've never had insomia before in my life, but I went to bed tonight at nine and I still haven't slept. I was still awake when my baby woke at 1am, and he's been back to sleep now for 45 mins and I'm still awake.

aaaaaaaaagh



so bloody tired

frekkles Tue 11-Aug-09 08:30:12

dropped off some time between 330 when i last looked at my phone and 4 and then baby woke up . Apart from that no sleep last night.

why? what can i do?

frekkles Tue 11-Aug-09 15:46:34

still not slept. feel very odd, kinda like i'm on stimulants.

probably should've put insomnia in the title.

picc Wed 12-Aug-09 08:53:04

No answers, sorry!

But just to say that this happens to me too, so big sympathy! However little sleep I get, I still find it difficult to drop off.

I know it's easy to say, but the more you worry about it, the worse it gets. I tend to just listen to my iPod now and accept I might be lying there for a while. Remember, even if you're not sleeping you will be resting, and that is also good.

What I would say is that, from reading here, and from my very limited experience, it seems very normal for a 14 week old baby to wake many times in the night because it's hungry.

To give you hope, my DS has always woken up loads, and I've always just fed him (unless it's, like, half and hour after he fell asleep or whatever). To be honest, it felt easier than fighting with him to sleep without feeding. He always dropped straight off afterwards. And I also didn't want to starve him if he WAS hungry. Sometimes he'd have a big feed, sometimes a little one. Sometimes, I felt it was probably just for comfort, but I decided it didn't matter.

I went through some seriously sleep-deprived times, but I couldn't have done it any other way, personally.

Now, at 6 months, DS is beginning to drop night feeds of his own accord. Often, he only wakes once in the night now.

This may not be what you want to hear!! But hang in there, and catch up with sleep where you can during the day.

With hindsight, these things do pass eventually....

Schulte Wed 12-Aug-09 13:49:29

Frekkles - I feel your pain. H has also been waking lots in the last 4 weeks and like you, I get incredibly frustrated and I cry a lot, not at night but in the morning when I realise I've got to get through a whole day being tired. The fretting about it makes it worse of course and the more you want to go back to sleep, the more difficult it becomes. I have no cure I am afraid but picc is right, resting in a dark, quiet room is almost as good as sleeping so try to take comfort in that. Also do NOT, I repeat do NOT look at the clock. You'll only get even more worked up about how much sleep you could have had / you will get. Things will get better, I keep telling myself that, and I have also promised myself that as soon as H is on 3 solid meals a day, there will be no more night feeds and if that means a week of screaming in the night, then so be it. I am not afraid of controlled crying if it means we'll all sleep better! Lots of hugs to you. xxx

Ineedmorechocolatenow Fri 14-Aug-09 18:32:22

Going through the same thing. DD (10 weeks) is sleeping for larger chunks at night and I'm wide-awake from 3am onwards. I can get to sleep fine, but I'm wide awake once she's woken for a feed.... grr.....

Been told that you can't take anything with a sedative effect when you are breastfeeding, as it can increase the risk of SIDS. I might just get up at 3, chug a small glass of white wine and then get back into bed......

countrylover Fri 14-Aug-09 19:35:56

Same here - not so bad with DS2 but with DS1 as soon as he started sleeping through the night (12 weeks!) I then kept waking up at the usual feed times then spent hours trying to get back to sleep. This went on for months.

DS2 has slept through from 10 weeks (yes I know!) and it's taken until now at 16 weeks for me to get back into a normal sleep pattern. I think your body gets so used to disrupted sleep that the brain tells you to wake up at random times. I also find that with a newborn I'm just on high alert at the time and find it difficult to switch off.

I don't really have any advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I thought I was as every Mum I ever talk to doesn't have this problem at all.

mathanxiety Mon 17-Aug-09 08:03:44

Try not to fret, it really does make it worse, but I think also that fretting is unavoidable and maybe even has biological origins. I have never slept the same since having babies. I wake at the slightest sound now. When the babies changed their sleep patterns (which happened a lot) I never followed suit, hence sleeplessness and I was a zombie for years. Banish the clock -- watching it and marking it passing will only make things feel worse. Put the cot closer to your bed if possible so you can reach out half asleep and feed, then put baby back. I never, ever changed a nappy at night unless there was a poop there -- wet ones stayed on until morning. I don't care who knows that about me. And none of them got a rash (yay for bfing). Chronic sleeplessness causes a whole range of other problems, emotional and physical, including craving carbohydrates, and it's incredibly stressful. Try not to overdo the caffeine during the day, get out for a little walk if you can, eat healthy foods, not baked or fried snacks. One thing that is counterproductive is taking a nap during the day. It will really mess you up. Sometimes when babies start on solids and also to crawl or move around, and stay awake for more regular periods during the day, their sleep improves.

frekkles Tue 18-Aug-09 12:41:08

thank you for the advice and support everyone. sorry i was away for a bit, been on holiday for a week. still not sleeping really, doing my head in! Things that have helped are lots of fresh air, rescue remedy, a really cold room and earplugs.

one benfit that i have found though is that i'm less stressed about him waking up now as i'm thankful for any sleep atall

frekkles Thu 20-Aug-09 02:27:36

i don't know what to do now, i'm so wound up and so tired. The little boy has now started waking at midnight and refusing to go back to sleep. The last two nights I've fed him from midnight till 3ish, and then he's fussed and needed his nappy changed till 4 and he's fed again till 6 ish and then slept for an hour. Tonight my dp took him after I fed him for 30 mins at midnight and he's screamed for the last hour and a half, finally back to sleep now. But now I can't sleep. I've been crying and I'm so tired and I just don't know what to do. Do you fight them and try and make them go back to bed? or do you give into to their needs and hope it'll pass before it exhausts you? he doesn't nap in the day so if i don't sleep at night i don't sleep

I can't do this. i hate it

nauseous Sun 13-Sep-09 22:05:23

Frekkles.. did things improve??? sounds like hell

mathanxiety Mon 14-Sep-09 05:42:59

Are you co-sleeping or is the baby in a cot in another room or even in the same room? Sometimes co-sleeping makes for a more relaxed half-asleep time at night, since you don't have to leave the bed. You feed the baby lying down and don't have to be as awake as you would have to be if you were sitting or walking around with him. Also, I wondered if you had a dummy -- would DS take one?

frekkles Mon 14-Sep-09 17:28:24

hello!

thanks for asking nice people. Things have definately improved. Infact last night I had the longest sleep i've had since he was born. He went to bed at 8, I followed at 930 and neither of us woke up again till 530! So I had an 8 hour sleep! followed by another two and a bit as he fed for 20 mins, settled straight away and then slept again till 8!

joy joy joy!

it's taken abit of effort to get here though and alot of help from my bloke, but things seem to be improving. Used a improvised mixture of shush pat from the baby whisperer, the pantley pull off for ncss, an hour or so controlled crying (me and baby), a dummy, a cuski, earplugs and rescue remedy, a beefed up bedtime routine, enforcing three naps a day and moving the boy into his own room. But in the end i suspect the biggest thing to help has been the boy's discovery and subsequent addiction to sucking his thumb.

I doubt we're out of the woods yet, but glad things have improved just now. i was so tired!

IDriveaRedCar Mon 14-Sep-09 17:34:03

It sounds like you won't need these and they are not specifically baby-related but some tips I've used in the past for insomnia include:

eat something - piece of toast/bowl of cereal is often enough to get me back to sleep afterwards.

try as hard as possible to keep your eyes open, don't know how it works but often my lids are closing against my will!

imagine its the morning and someone tells you can have another 3/4/5 hours sleep, I pull the duvet round me and pretend I'm being very indulgent by not getting up.

HTH

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