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Have I the right to be angry if partner is sleeping next to toddler and dosnt see to her if she wakes up as i am in with 9 month old!

(4 Posts)
hayleybop Fri 07-Aug-09 13:29:48

Sorry to bang on but today I feel like shit..
My DD2 sleep usually well in her own room. DD2 9 months sleeps in cot next to our bed. DD2 has had trouble settling lately and has been screaming lots proberly teeth on there way or someting like that. She wakes up 2-3 times a night and i am trying to wean her off the boob etc...Last night my parnter went and slept in DD2 room so he could get a good sleep as DD2 up lots crying...At 12.30am DD2 starts crying, if this happens my partner climbs into bed with her and settles her so I can concentrate on DD2. So last night she was crying I ran to her room to see what the matter was, tryed to wake up my partner who wasnt mad for waking up to see to her, I was prodding him and DD1 was crying. I tryed to wake him, sooth her all at the same time so she wouldnt wake DD2 up. So the crying got louder and my parnter was being evil saying I was poison for waking him up!!!! I was really angry by this point and my voice must of been loud as DD1 started to cry louder and then DD2 woke up...It takes ages to settle her....So today I am soooooooooooooooooo pissed off because my partner is blaming me for waking everybody up! Today he is saying I am an overfed angry person...which makes me upset as I am not happy with my weight after having two kids close together, I am Bf and hungry all the time so I eat, yeah maybe comfort eating as I am sleep I am angry upset person and feel I have the right to be!!!!!!!!!!!!Sorry to rant on and on...Men can be so selfish at times hey.

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 07-Aug-09 22:21:21

Yes, they can be. Hope you are feeling calmer now. Sorry your post was missed this afternoon because you could have done with a bit of tlc, but the board moves fast at times and people must have missed it.

Communication is key. You need to calmly tell him how you feel, what your expectations were and that you need his help with the kids.

And it is totally unacceptable of him to throw insults at you. Either tell him to stop, or play him at his own game, tell him he has a micropenis and see how he likes it!!

mathanxiety Fri 14-Aug-09 18:40:38

No I would say absolutely no insults no matter what. He needs to be very sorry for this. Your eating is definitely the result of being sleep deprived -- I have been there, and it's a really tough situation. Not helpful at all for your DP to use this as an insult. Tell him this. Seems he is not really doing a good job supporting the family effort to get a restful night. Silly because he will benefit too when things settle down. Does he realise you are all in this boat together? Sometimes men imagine they can just make it all magically go away by ignoring it and letting someone else deal with the nuts and bolts while they criticise from the sidelines. He needs to be told this will have bad results and ask him what he values and what he is willing to do to achieve it.

kittypink Fri 14-Aug-09 20:14:24

Absolutely, he has no right to make you feel like this. you are obviously trying your hardest to keep things in your home running as smoothly as possible. he is just not pulling his weight.

As for the insults, that is simply wrong. Your body has changed through carrying his babies, and is still in upheaval because of the bf. Of course you need to keep eating, you are no good to anyone if you keel over! I got really ill by not eating enough whilst bf.

I hope you feel better now, I really think you should tell him exactly how he has made you feel.

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