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8 month old won't sleep through - help!!!

(9 Posts)
Gemzie1 Mon 03-Aug-09 10:41:08

My son is now 8 months old and will not sleep through the night. He usually wakes up between 4 & 5 times a night. He has 1 feed during the night, but the rest he uses a cuddle from me to get him back to sleep.

I have tried leaving him to settle on his own, but he just starts screaming and then sobbing which is heartbreaking!!

The only technique i haven't tried is CC, but i'm not sure i can leave him to cry.

I am due back to work in 6 weeks and would really like him to be sleeping through by the time i go back.

Any suggestions or tips??

tinierclanger Mon 03-Aug-09 10:45:53

When you say a cuddle, do you cuddle him until he falls asleep and then put him down? Or do you cuddle him, and then put him down to fall asleep on his own?

If he is managing to settle without milk anyway, you have conquered the first barrier, so well done! I would suggest a gradual withdrawal type thing. Can you try sitting by him, stroking and patting, while he settles, without taking him out of the cot? This has worked well for us with DS. After about 5 nights of that he stopped waking earlier. He still doesn't 'sleep through' but now sleeps till 4 or 5 and then has a feed and goes back to sleep till 6 or so.

I did a sort of modified version of this, although we weren't co-sleepers.

Gemzie1 Mon 03-Aug-09 10:54:11

I cuddle him until he falls asleep and then put him back down, otherwise he starts to cry.

I have tried sitting with him and stroking his hair, which works for a while - until he realises he's falling asleep and then pulls his dummy out to wake himself back up (very frustrating!)

I don't mind him waking up for his feed, it's all the times inbetween. He seems to know when i'm drifting off to sleep and then decides to wake up!

tinierclanger Mon 03-Aug-09 10:58:25

With DS, I had to sit with him for a LONG time doing this, as he would wake up when I tried to leave the room, so I would be there maybe about 45 minutes until he got back into a deep sleep, it did gradually reduce though. Can you pop the dummy back in and carry on stroking?

Do you have an option of sending DP in? He might find someone else less appealing to stay awake for.

It's very tough isn't it? It does get better anyway though. I think a lot of it with DS improving to be honest was just him getting older, it seemed to get a lot better around 10 months, just as I went back to work. Also for me I found it was more restful at work to be honest so that helped me too.

Gemzie1 Mon 03-Aug-09 11:06:34

I pop the dummy in and he pulls it out again! This can happen several times before one of us gets frustrated - usually him and will then start to cry.

Don't really have the option of sending DP in. He works shifts and is seen by our son as 'play time'.

When you were stroking etc. did he cry?

It's very tough. We have a reasonably good night and i think things are getting better and then he seems to go backwards and wake up more than ever!

tinierclanger Mon 03-Aug-09 11:11:15

Yes, initially he would cry, then settle to whimpering. Then maybe cry a bit again, then more whimpering, then sleep. My feeling is, it's not great to be crying but it's ok if he knows Mummy is there and he is safe. And also telling myself he's crying because he's tired, and we are trying to make him be not tired together!

You have to find a solution YOU feel comfortable with though. If you don't want to let him cry at all, you could carry on cuddling and just tell yourself he will grow out of it eventually!

Gemzie1 Mon 03-Aug-09 11:18:11

Thank you! I think i just need to try something different (other than the cuddles) and persevere!

MrsBadger Mon 03-Aug-09 11:20:22

another vote for Jay Gordon

I used it to stop feeding dd at night - we went from feeds to cuddles, then from me-holding-her cuddles to over-the-edge-of-the-cot cuddles, then to bottom-patting / back-stroking and it worked very well. Took about 12wks overall.

but 8m sounds very young - dd was 18m when we tried it

tinierclanger Tue 04-Aug-09 10:38:14

Keep trying Gemzie and keep posting, this sleep forum is full of people who will be supportive when you're finding it tough. We understand how it is to be permanently knackered and just about surviving! It's a long process but if you keep a log of wakings, even if you just update it once a week, it can help if you can register the gradual improvement, which sometimes you can't see for yourself on a day to day basis.

And also if you feel you can't cope any more and have to do CC, you will get people to support you with that too.

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