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Gradual Withdrawl Help!

(4 Posts)
Skippyjo Tue 28-Jul-09 14:35:54

My ds has just turned 1 year and bedtimes have become 2 hours long just to get him to sleep. He'll then wake up at least twice to feed. Admittedly the last few weeks he seems to be teething or going through a developmental leap or something which is unsettling him even more, but the sleeping probs have been going on since before all that.

He's never been the best sleeper, though at his best he usually bf to sleep and then would wake at least once for a feed in the night. He's slept through twice in his whole life!

We tried CC briefly but it didn't work - he never got to the point where he started to wind down, just got more and more hysterical and neither dh nor I could bear it at all. So we tried gradual withdrawl and one of us would sit by his bed until he went to sleep. At first it seemed to be working: 1 hr the first night, 40 mins a few days later etc, though he would not tolerate us moving away. Now it takes over an hour and the last few nights I've ended up walking out in frustration, returning in a few minutes and just feeding him to sleep, or literally sitting there for 2 hours...

I'm sure things will calm down a bit when these teeth come through etc but the problem still remains there. We can't seem to get past stage one of gradual withdrawl!! The weird thing is most of the time he'll be happy to go down for his nap with just a night night and about 10 mins of him chatting to himself and he's out. So why can't he do that at nighttime?

My plan tonight is to feed him before his bath and leave the whole shebang to dh to do, as he seems to be able to get him off to sleep quicker...

Anyone had this problem? Advice please! Thanks a lot.

CyradisTheSeer Tue 28-Jul-09 14:47:25

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Skippyjo Tue 28-Jul-09 17:52:52

Thanks - I like "the endless patience" method! It does feel like that.

The main problem I've found with it is that the moment I move a little further away he just cries and won't stop until I move back or reach over the cot bars and cuddle him. Do I just let him cry? I feel like I'm torturing him by sitting just there yet not giving him physical comfort when he's asking for it, so inevitably I give him a hug.

I know he can self-settle as he used to be able to do it (with maybe 30 seconds of crying when we left) and does it every day for his nap, so why can't he do it at bedtime?

I don't want to wean completely until he's at least showing some signs of not wanting it anymore, but I'm sure that will change things completely. He's really being a clingy mummy's boy at the moment so perhaps it's a bit of sep-anxiety too? Oh what a lovely concoction of things for a 1 year old to be dealing with!!

CyradisTheSeer Tue 28-Jul-09 21:53:59

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