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sleep and attachment behaviour in a 5 yr old

(6 Posts)
tiredoldtrout Mon 27-Jul-09 23:47:26

Does my child love me 'too much'? She is happy, popular, social, bright and energetic. But she has huge problems getting to sleep because she says she misses me and wants to be with me.

She loves her bedroom, thinks her bed is soft and cozy, we have a good routine (bath, stories, cuddle, lullaby)but... the end result is that she wants to sleep in our bed in order to be next to me, or have me stay with her until she falls asleep.

Also, possibly because we have just returned from holiday and we all had such a great time, she no longer wants to attend a week's activity that she had previously wanted to go to with a little friend. It's only tonight that she told me the real reason, i.e. that she loves me so much, she wants to be with me.

She's 5, so still very young. Does anyone else have any experience of this? Should I be (a) flattered, as in less than 10 years' time, she won't want to spend time with us, (b) concerned - but if so, please explain why

morningsuncanslay Tue 28-Jul-09 00:17:01

I think it's absolutely fine and normal~she'll grow more independent of you gradually.Don't let your worries/other peoples opinions spoil your closeness or your confidence in your parenting~she sounds really sweetsmile
Re bed time,could you read her a story and settle her down with a lullaby tape or with her lying quietly while you are upstairs for a few mins?If not,again it won't go on for ever,you could sit on the end of the bed for a week or two then try leaving her while you are upstairs after that.

DidEinsteinsMum Tue 28-Jul-09 00:22:07

I did incredible years thingy and whilst most of it didnt work for us this was listed as pretty common for the age group. I have the same problem with my ds (4) but it is impossible toget him to sleep on own when there has been a lot of change. So tonight he is still up and will go to bed with me on a bed in my room. Tomorrow however will be a mixture of bribes and shouting and chaos in am attempt to restart a routine.
I would say enjoy her loving you so much now, i am -they'll both make up for it in their teenage years when we will be evil horrid mums who never let them do anything they want to and thus hated grin

tiredoldtrout Tue 28-Jul-09 23:44:07

Thanks to both of you.

We had such trouble last night (no shouting, but lots of anxiety and tears) that I assured her as I tucked her into my bed that I would stay with her until she fell asleep tonight.

Then I came downstairs and joined mumsnet. Just reaching out to the site yesterday made me feel relaxed and certain that someone would have had a similar experience. It's amazingly calming.

Perhaps it's no coincidence that she went off like a dream tonight. Admittedly, I stayed with her until she had talked herself out and fallen asleep, but the point was that I was relaxed and she felt safe, so she was able to relax as well.

This website is a gift to people like me with no family to draw upon. Thank you for your support.

I will definitely use a lullaby tape.
tired, but infinitely happier, old trout.

DidEinsteinsMum Wed 29-Jul-09 00:59:55

hum last night it was 1.30am before i got ds down and he feel asleep on top on me. tonight he went to sleep on his own. you'll get there. now all i need to do is sort my sleepout wink glad you had a good night and we are always out here if you need to talk.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad Wed 29-Jul-09 01:02:25

I've had this, in the end I had to explain that he had to sleep in his own bed because it made me really tired when he slept in my bed and I really wanted to not be tired so I could play with him the next day.

Put a picture of you and her beside her bed, this should help smile

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