getting so angry with 2 1/2 yr old shouting at bedtime when trying to put baby to sleep!

[nzbabies]

Hi! I am here for a rant basically, and to see if anyone has any advice thanks! It is driving me mad. 2 1/2 yr old Ds always been a crap sleeper and always fighting being put to bed - we have always been softly softly do as much as we can to help him go to sleep type parents - then we kind of got tough - oh here he goes crying again! - it is his daytime sleep I am trying to get him to do now - I know he needs it because when he falls asleep it will be for 2 hours and also when he doesn't have it he will wake up at nighttime from overtiredness - sorry if this is hard to read! So it has always been hard work - a lot of going back and reassuring him, gradual retreat methods etc - but now it just isn't always possible for me to spend ages doing it as I have a baby to put to sleep often at the same time. (who he might wake up with his shouting!) What do I do? I'm thinking that I have to be consistent with whatever I do but..now he is shouting that he has done a poo! Okay, have to go...sorry for rant..if you have any thoughts that would be great...oh and we think he ought to have a big boy bed but am worried it will make it even harder (baby needs his cot soon)

[nzbabies]

Well, I gave up on his daytime sleep and got him out as he was so adamant that he didn't want to sleep. Its true he doesn't seem tired now but he certainly will be later. Well, if you have any thoughts...more info: he has been having nightmares lately and is genuinely scared about going to sleep, often waking up at night and saying he has dreamt about "the scary man". (Unfortunately this is since he saw some big kids playing playstation) We have a magic spray and a dreamcatcher but the scary man still hasn't gone away

[Shells]

Poor you. You sound very stressed. And I'm sure tired as well with a new baby.
2 1/2 year olds have quite often given up their naps. I hated that age as if you took them anywhere in buggy or car between 3 and 5 they would ALWAYS fall asleep, but wouldn't have a lunchtime sleep. Sounds like it might be that phase. You might just have to go with it. Could you institute compulsory quiet time in front of telly with blankets etc. instead?

As for being noisy while you're trying to get baby to sleep - thats so stressful too. Are separate rooms possible? Big boys bed might not be a terrible idea. He might be more comfortable and less likely to wake up. Is he warm enough etc.?

[phdlife]

you have allll my sympathies nzbabies (I'm in oz btw). I've got a 2.3yo jsut like yours and a 3m old so I do know how you feel. my ds is only just starting to learn to put himself to sleep, he seems to do this with a pillow or quilt over his head (removed later by me). says he is hiding. might that help your ds?

usually I have dh to hold dd while I put ds down, but when I have to do it she goes happily into her pram - then if she's awake I can rock her in ds's room with us, or if she drops off she can be pushed out of shouting range. mind you she's quite used to ds's noise - he really has to be shrieking in her face to wake her up!

sorry not more help, dd yowling now.

[SofiaAmes]

Maybe the new baby is sparking the behavior. Have you tried including ds in the bedtime routine of new baby? Things like letting him pick which book you will read to the baby (which is actually in reality a book being read to him). Letting him give the baby its stuffed animal and turn out baby's light. If he feels vested in putting baby to bed, he may be more conscious of what wakes baby up again. And if he does wake baby up again, get him to participate in the putting to sleep again. I think it's important to frame things so that the addition of baby to his life becomes a positive thing that adds good things to his life, rather than a negative thing that only takes good things (like attention) away.

[nzbabies]

hey thanks for your thoughts...its comforting

[ilovecakes]

I'm having similar problems.dd (9 months) is a bad enough sleeper as it is but doesnt help when ive got ds (nearly 4) screaming and shouting in the room next door,and i get so tired of going up and down the stairs telling him to be quiet and trying to get him to just go to sleep.spoke to hv today and she advised to get ds's sleep sorted first before trying to tackle dd(a whole other story!)so this evening i am keeping dd downstairs with me and ds's yelling is being ignored and i just put him back in bed everytime he gets out.may not work but worth a try!