Help with day time naps

[CookieDoughIcecream]

My 10mth old DS sleeps through the night but day time naps are a nightmare. I can't get him to go to sleep in his cot, though he will in the car / buggy if he is tired enough, and always in my arms whilst feeding when he has missed a sleep.
I am going back to work soon and he is going to a cm two days a week, DH one day and my mum another so I would like to get this sorted.
He always wakes up from day and night sleep crying so not sure if he is experiencing seperation problems?

[cjones2979]

Firstly, what a nightmare for you !!

My DS2 is also 10 months old and now sleeps 12 hours a night and also has 2 daytime naps, one in the morning & one in the afternoon, of between 1-2 hours each.

IMO, the answer is leave him to cry (shock, horror - what a bad mother!!)

I found that when DS1 was a baby, if I let him fall asleep in my arms and then put him down he would wake up crying after a few minutes and not settle again. However, when I started to put him to bed awake, and left him to cry he would fall asleep by himself after 10-15 mins or so, and he would more often than not, wake up happy (unless he had a dirty nappy!!).

With DS2, I always put him to bed awake. He may cry for a little while sometimes, but its just a tired cry. I have had to be strong and leave him to cry (unless he gets really distressed).

Also, does your DS have things he can play with in his cot ? Mine has soft toys, rattles and a mobile which he loves.

Sometimes I don't even know he's woken up until I see him on the video monitor playing with his toys!

Maybe you could try putting him to bed at the same times, awake, for a few days and see how it goes, but let him cry. Don't forget, babies will always try their luck in the hopes that you will come and get them if they scream loud enough. You just need to try to be strong so you can get him in a routine before you go back to work.

Good luck, and please let me know how you go.

[giantkatestacks]

I dont agree that you need to let him cry at this age - I think that if you're the sort of person who hasnt done this by now then its not for you.

My experience with childcare is that they usually get it sorted for themselves pretty quickly - either getting them to nap at set times if thats what they want or letting them fall asleep in the middle of playing (as my dds nursery does).

How are they going to give him milk? Will he fall asleep on that - can he be taken out in the buggy/car at the same time to sleep to get used to the times before trying it in the house?

[cjones2979]

I wasn't saying that you had to let him cry, I was merely stating that this is what has worked for me with both of my boys.

My SIL is the sort of person who wouldn't leave a baby to cry & she has 4 kids, 10, 5,4, & 3 months, and they are all still bad sleepers because they have always been used to falling asleep in her arms before every sleep, and waking through the night etc. Her 10 y/o still gets up and gets into bed with her in the night, or wakes her younger sisters up....ridiculous !!

So IMO, leaving them to cry for a short time is what has worked for me & I have 2 very good sleepers.

[CookieDoughIcecream]

We have always put him down awake and this worked until a few weeks ago but now he just screams during the day. In the evening he will scream for a couple of minutes but go off on his own.
When he falls asleep during a feed I am not able to put him down as he will wake imediately. He still gets really bad wind so needs to be burped before being put down.
I am not keen on leaving him to cry too long as he quickly gets destressed.
I am going to try putting some toys in the cot and see if that helps. I will let you know how we get on. I think I will try to stick to the same time each day too so that he can start to get into a rountine.
Thanks for the tips

[stainesmassif]

cookiedough - i wouldn't focus too much on 'getting him into a routine' for the cm.

there are no guarantees that she will be able to conform to that routine. does she have children? does she do a school run? does she look after other children?

i worried about ds sleeping through before i went back to work two weeks ago - it hasn't happened, but most importantly, he is getting into a routine with the cm that suits them both and they are both happy. going back to work is more like a holiday from full time child care btw if that helps! and his sleep is still improving all the time, even if it doesn't always feel like it....