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overtiredness or am I missing something? please help, getting desperate...

(99 Posts)
Tipex Mon 16-May-05 19:20:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marne Mon 16-May-05 19:43:28

My dd went through this stage, shes 15 months now, she still crys during the day but no way neer as bad as she did. Couldnt take her anywhere she would even screem in the pushchair.
Havnt realy got any advice (sory) but just to let you know your not the only person with a screeming baby. Hopefully its just a stage and he will be hapy again soon.

cab Mon 16-May-05 19:46:44

Tipex what does your health visitore say?
I'll probably be shot down in flames for this but would highly recommend having a read of Gina Ford's The contented Little baby to give you a rough idea on sleep times etc.
May be worth getting your ds checked out at docs too just in case he's got an ear infection or something that he can't tell you about. Would have thought if he's still sleeping well at night the screaming during the day is either down to overtiredness /hunger/ constipation???
Best of luck.

Frizbe Mon 16-May-05 19:48:02

Just a theory, but could it be a) early teeth, b) growing pains, as our dd used to scream the place down when she had a growth spurt?
Have you tried keeping a diary of exactly when the screaming starts and (hopefully) finishes? just thinking this may help us all help you figure it out?!

Magscat Mon 16-May-05 19:52:23

Have you tried giving him any Calpol at bedtime? Wouldn't normally say 'reach for the medicines' as an answer but it might help settle him, give you a rest & give you a clue as to whether there's any physical pain or he's just getting himself overwrought. It's mildly sedative so might help - obviously only for short term use though.
Definately worth a talk to the Health Visitor or GP if only to set your mind at rest that there's nothing physical going on.

Tipex Mon 16-May-05 19:58:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakedpotato Mon 16-May-05 20:01:20

Can you tell us roughly how he spends his day? When does he usually get up, feed, sleep, that sort of thing.
(Would agree that something odd and ghastly happens around the 3-mth mark, btw)

bakedpotato Mon 16-May-05 20:05:34

Also, Tipex, if he wakes up after a 20-min nap, do you go to him quickly, or do you let him cry for a few moments to see if he will resettle himself? Or can't you bear to do that?

Magscat Mon 16-May-05 20:27:59

Is it an option for you to take him out in the car to get him to sleep? I know it's not a good idea long term but just wondered if doing it a few times would a) give you both some rest & b) get him into the habit. Sorry it's not a more helpful suggestion.

Agree with Bakes potato about the 3 month thing - my dd started screaming when I try to bf her and started sleeping less and less in the day. She's 19 weeks now and beginning to settle down a bit. She gets really distracted by anything & everything & will not settle (to feed or sleep) unless it's dark, quiet, familiar and relaxed. Maybe it is just a 'phase' they go through.

wysiwyg Mon 16-May-05 20:41:36

I think you are right that he could be overtired. Sometimes my DS (now 26 weeks) works himself into such a state he won't be pacified - but I have successfully used distraction to calm him in my case this was looking at a book (he is fascinated by lift the flap books). This really was a last resort and I was amazed it worked at such a young age. Worth trying anything! (Obviously try with something your son is "into"). Alternatively wind or constipation could be worth considering.
Hope this phase passes soon. Don't despair.

cab Mon 16-May-05 20:52:07

Probably another daft idea Tipex, but could you try a bit of music to help him settle himself again? Not convinced it's a good idea but I've bought a winnie the poo music box/night light from Mothercare that's set off by noise (didn't realise this at the time). So if something wakens my 10 day old dd before she's in a deep sleep and she starts to cry on comes Winnie the Poo - it seems to be enough to distract her from crying and usually she settles down again. (Not if she's hungry).
Just had a quick look at gf - she suggests day time snoozes of 9-9.45, 12 -2/2.15 and 4.45 -5pm - assuming sleeping between 7 and 7 with a feed before you go to bed at 10.30pm. +/- a feed during the night - that's for 8 to 12 weeks. She also recommends tucking your baby in well so he doesn't waken himself up by moving around in the cot. (And black out blinds).
Could you get someone to give him some ebm from a cup so you can have a break? Have no idea but if you're absolutely shattered could it affect your milk supply or let down?

throckenholt Mon 16-May-05 20:53:35

how long is he awake at a time ? At that age mine were often tired after an hour, and never lasted more than 2.

I had to be really careful not to miss the subtle signs - yawning was too late.

Maybe cranial osteopath might help as well - lots of people say they made a difference.

throckenholt Mon 16-May-05 20:54:25

also try him on his tummy - turn him over once he is asleep if you like - mine always settled better on their fronts

jambot Mon 16-May-05 20:56:54

My 10 week old is going through something similar at the moment. Sleeps well at night but is resisting her day time naps like crazy. She also goes from happy to miserable in a split second at the moment, and starts crying. She's never really been a big cryer until now. It seems to me as if her happy awake period has become shorter than it was a few weeks back. Thought it should be getting longer rather than the other way around. She seems to get tired so quickly at the moment, especially in the mornings. Those hours between her 7 and 11 feed seem to drag on forever. She sleeps for maybe 1/2 hour, is happy for another 1/2 and seems to be either moaning or crying the rest of the time. Getting lots of walks in, as this does shut her up and often makes her drift off, although she wakes up the moment we get home again!
I reckon it's a phase. Maybe they're taking in so much stimuli at the moment and becoming more active that they are becoming exhausted??

cab Mon 16-May-05 21:04:46

The diary's a good idea cos it might throw up a pattern so you could try to get him down for a nap before the yawning starts - also will pinpoint the times when he does settle well.
My sis was advised to express some milk onto a favourite toy/blanket to help settle her son - it worked.

Tipex Mon 16-May-05 21:27:13

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throckenholt Mon 16-May-05 21:36:39

can you try and catch him before he gets upset - so maybe 5-10 mins before you think he would normally.

Then go lay him down in his cot, sit beside him, make the room dark, say nothing or talk very quietly telling him it is time to sleep. Stay calm and don't pick him up unless he gets very upset. Don't make too much eye contact. Stroke his head or tummy. Keep telling him it is time to sleep. Try and keep it calm and quiet and he may get the idea that it is time to be calm and fall asleep. Don't give up and take him out of the room - stay there trying to be quiet until he falls asleep.

Do this as well if he wakes up too soon (apparently 45 mins it the time when they change to deep sleep and most likely to get disturbed before they have had a really good sleep).

Maybe have some music on quietly.

throckenholt Mon 16-May-05 21:38:19

I agree with jambot - they are more aware of the world around them than they were a few weeks ago and get very tired and overstimulated very quickly. Don't try to entertain them too much - just let them experience the world at their own pace.

bakedpotato Tue 17-May-05 10:05:19

Think Throckenholt's ideas are good.
For pointers on how to improve sleep associations, it might be worth consulting Dr Richard Ferber's Solve your Child's Sleep Problems. It's really useful bcs it explains how babies sleep. No one advocates CC before 6 mths, but it might help you with some other ideas in the meantime.

Tipex Tue 17-May-05 10:25:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elliott Tue 17-May-05 10:33:47

just shatterd and confused I think
If it helps at all, my ds1 was a lot like this at about that age. The book I found most helpful was 'Healthy sleep, happy child' by Marc Weissbluth. I think the Gina routine is ok sleep wise but would ignore what it says about bf routines!
I found it a very hard time - ds1 desperately needed to nap but it was v difficult to get him to do so. We had screaming in the buggy, screamign in the car, screaming in the sling....if I could ride out the screaming he would eventually fall asleep. At this age I did it by pushing him around in the buggy for hours; I also got him to take a dummy at this stage which helped a bit (stopped using it a few months later). When he was 4-5 months old I did some fairly heavy sleep training at naptimes. It was pretty grim but it did work and by 5-6 months he was in a great sleep pattern and much happier. Always cried a little before going to sleep though, and I also ended up having to plan my day pretty much around his sleep needs.

foxinsocks Tue 17-May-05 11:18:52

oh Tipex, I have huge sympathies. I had a tortuous time with dd (my first child) - she seemed to never stop crying and it used to drive me up the wall. The Ferber sleep book is a good tip because it gives you a good idea about how much sleep they need and talks about sleep from a medical view point (which I found quite interesting - the stages of sleep etc.).

I do think you may be making a rod for your own back with the settling thing - I do think babies need to learn how to settle themselves rather than being fed or rocked to sleep (though 13 weeks is quite young). Unfortunately, I only realised this too late with dd and she only slept through properly when she was around 15 months old (she did have reflux which complicated things). With ds, I had realised the error of my ways and he was settling himself and sleeping much better by the time he was 4 or 5 months.

How often is he feeding now? Is it possible that he is a very hungry baby?

Tipex Tue 17-May-05 12:06:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tipex Tue 17-May-05 13:01:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elliott Tue 17-May-05 13:19:12

Have you found any way of getting him to sleep and stay asleep? I found that if I kept moving with the buggy ds1 would stay asleep. And the dummy did help too. If he is only having short naps am and lunchtime, you could try another one later in the afternoon (4-5 ish).
Have you tried other ways of soothing him to sleep in his cot/basket, perhaps swaddling him and rubbing his back going 'shhh, shhh'. It sounds like you are well read on the sleep front(!) but there are other books which might be helpful about soothing, like Tracey Hogg or Elizabeth Pantley. Having said that, I never found anything helpful for ds1 except leaving him to cry, which was awful at the time but really really helpful in the long run. It didn't work until he was 4-5 months. Some babies do get overstimulated very easily and rocking/soothing don't always help these babies to go to sleep.

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