Help with "shush pat" please!

[SlightlyDoolally]

I have a 12 week old DS who WILL NOT NAP in the daytime and I am desperate to get him to sleep.

He used always to sleep in the car, the pram and the baby carrier, so I would alternate these throughout the day to make sure he got enough naps to prevent him getting overtired.

However, in the last couple of weeks, he now fights sleep in all 3 of those situations so I am on the lookout for a new plan.

A friend recommended the Baby Whisperer, and I started trying her "shush pat" thing this week. I think I must be doing it wrong, because I did it for an hour and a half and he still wasn't asleep. Desperately overtired and screaming, but not asleep.

I did the 4 S thing first, and started the shush pat when he was calm, but he just got more irate as he got more tired and wouldn't sleep.

Perhaps I just need to persevere until he gets used to it. I was planning to try it for one nap each day (and keep using my ever-failing "props" for the other naps) so that he doesn't get too many negative associations with his cot (where he sleeps well at night).

Can anyone tell me how long it took for them to succeed with shush pat, or what else might work to get him to nap in daytime?

I'm getting seriously depressed with this situation - he's so tired all day that he's really screamy and we can't go anywhere. I haven't had a single social interaction for over 3 weeks now (apart from DH at the end of the day and my parents on the phone once a week) and I am going spare! Help please!!!

[rubyslippers]

i think you need to put him down a lot earlier than you think

shush pat is very overstimulating IME and no point trying for 1.5 hours to get a baby to sleep

have you ruled out things like reflux which can often disrupt sleep?

[nothingventured]

I love the babywhisperer and its worked well for us, although now following Gina .

You didn't mention whether or not you are on a routine for naps/feeding, but I think the shush/pat worked best in the 'window' of sleep, ie. once they are tired but not overtired. I only managed to find that 'window' once we were on a good routine so that DD was ready for her naps at nap time IYSWIM. (Sorry, don't think I've explained that well)

I think, in a round about way, I'm suggesting that if you aren't in a routine then you could benefit from it, we did.

[spicemonster]

If it's any comfort my DS went through exactly the same thing at that age - suddenly refused to sleep, just cried loads and I was at my wit's end. And then it got better. I do think that's an age where it's really really easy to keep them awake too long because they're starting to get interested in the world around them so yes, I'd try putting him down earlier. Also, I wouldn't stress yourself about the shush/pat except at night - it's going to do your head in if you do it at every nap. At 3 months, I think it's way too young to get any negative associations so I wouldn't worry about that. He'll get there.

[feralgirl]

DS did the same at the same age. I spent two months co-sleeping his lunch time nap with him which sorted him (and me) right out. Agree with Ruby that patting can be stimulating; I just rest a hand on DS's back (he also decided at 3mo to be a front sleeper - might be worth a try) and shush him.

At 3mo, DS would go an absolute max of 2 hours between naps, usually more like 1 - 1.5, and I quite often just used to let him sleep on me. He's not built up any "wrong associations" (god, I hate that phrase) and now (at 7mo) will self settle and sleep for up to 3 hours for a nap, given a chance!

[moocowme]

you could try some gentle rubbing or stroking on his back. i think you have to have them in sleepy mode for shush pat to work.

i did however find it usefull for extending naps if i got to him just as he started to stir.

i also had the same experience with co-sleeping extending the midday nap.

[SlightlyDoolally]

Thanks everyone - good to hear that others have experienced the same thing. I am roughly doing the 3 month EASY routine outlined by the Baby Whisperer, but not absolutely rigidly time-wise. This week especially he has been feeding more frequently due to the really hot weather, so that's thrown things off a bit.

Will try putting him down earlier, and might try a co-sleeping nap if I can figure out a safe set-up.

He's definitely engaging more with things, so it makes sense he would be less happy to nap - I hadn't put those together so that's enlightening!

Thanks

[katherine2008]

I honestly don't think shh pat works til they are at least 6 months old - I went through exactly the same thing with my now 10 month dd. They have an incredible way of suddenly sorting things out themselves, for the most part. But as the pp says - putting them down slightly earlier than you might think is a very good start. I promise it gets easier, but you are expecting a lot from a little bubba really - we did Baby Whisperer and my now 10 month old dd goes down for all her day time naps like clockwork now... good luck and remember it gets better!! xx