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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

DD nine months and will only sleep if she is being held by me. I don't feel I can cope much longer.

20 replies

HumphreyCobbler · 30/06/2009 20:49

It is the evening that I am finding difficult as she wants to feed all the time, I can't put her down for more than five minutes as she wakes screaming and the whole feed to sleep thing starts all over again.

I can't go anywhere, eat a meal without feeding her through it, have a bath in the evening without listening to her scream throughout or in fact do anything at all that does not involved continuous feeding. I am in often in pain.

Any ideas? Anyone had one like this, and if so how did you cope? I fear I am becoming very grumpy and hard to live with.

OP posts:

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Chunkamatic · 30/06/2009 21:03

No advice i'm afraid... so sorry though and bumping so that someone sensible might see. I hope things get better for you soon

Midge25 · 30/06/2009 21:11

Do you think it is hunger or just wanting to suck for comfort/to get off to sleep? Sometimes babies want to suck to relieve tummy pain/colic but she seems a little old for that. It could also be separation anxiety. Have you tried a dummy/introducing another comfort object?

Does she have an evening routine - bath, feed, bed, at sim. time each night? It's not everyone's bag, but have you given some thought to controlled crying?

HumphreyCobbler · 30/06/2009 21:14

I think it is comfort sucking, she feeds very well during the day and eats a lot of actual food. In fact I think the constant milk in the evening is counter-productive at times as she gets too full.

I am too soft for controlled crying (she looks and sounds SO pitiful even if DH holds her instead of me). Don't duck though, I am grateful for any input!

She has always been like it, I keep thinking it is going to get better but it doesn't.

OP posts:

HighOnDieselAndGasoline · 30/06/2009 21:15

Oh gosh, poor poor you. I don't have anything helpful to suggest, as I stopped breastfeeding DD about this age. Just wanted to sympathise, as I can imagine how desperate you must feel.

Might it be worth talking to your HV? Are you in pain because your nipples are sore? Worth a call to LLL or similar?

HumphreyCobbler · 30/06/2009 21:16

Sorry, she doesn't have any routine at all as she has always woken up within five minutes of putting her down and that pattern is repeated for the rest of the night if we leave her.

OP posts:

HighOnDieselAndGasoline · 30/06/2009 21:16

X-posts.

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? She has lots of ideas for getting babies to sleep without the breast.

HumphreyCobbler · 30/06/2009 21:17

Yes I should call a helpline as I think bad latch is the cause of the pain, cheers.

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CarGirl · 30/06/2009 21:18

Has she always been like this? In which case I would visit a craniel osteopath and then provided they have sorted anything that needs sorting I would wean her off the feeding to sleep - does she feed to sleep?

Also if it's comfort sucking rather than proper feeding it could be why it hurts?

Midge25 · 30/06/2009 21:19

What about a dummy?

HumphreyCobbler · 30/06/2009 21:19

Is it good? I have tried the shhh in the ear thing to no avail.

Will go an buy the book on amazon, thanks for the suggestions and the sympathy!

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HumphreyCobbler · 30/06/2009 21:21

She spits a dummy out and won't take bottle.

She is addicted to me!

She was born by c section and is otherwise a happy baby - would cranial osteopathy help in that case? Will give it a go though.

OP posts:

Midge25 · 30/06/2009 21:21

Could just be sheer tiredness - my dd still has nights like it now esp when she's had a busy day...

HighOnDieselAndGasoline · 30/06/2009 21:22

I never had the patience to really put the book into practice, but I think it is good, and very gentle. TBH, your evenings sound so exhausting, I don't think trying her suggestions would make it any worse for you!

I do feel for you, you must feel terribly drained. Hope you can find a good solution soon.

CarGirl · 30/06/2009 21:24

often having a c section can cause problems because when you give birth it does something to their necks when they go over your tail bone that is important!!!

If she has no routine perhaps it is over tiredness that putting her into a rountine could help with.

I would def recommend craniel, do you know her tired signs?

Skimty · 30/06/2009 21:24

This sounds terrible and I don't doubt that you're exhausted.

Can you pluck up the energy for a few days of pacing and soothing rather than feeding? Or even go out and let DH do it? (If you think he could cope with the screaming!)

At 10 months I ended up doing CC with DS and it was the best thing I've done (ducks) but you don't have to let her cry by herself, only walk and soothe her which is the route I've gone down with DD (also 9 months).

I will be following this and I offer you every sympathy. Do you co-sleep and get any sleep at night?

EccentricaGallumbits · 30/06/2009 21:29

It was at 10 months with aching arms (and heart!) and painful back that I cracked and did soem form o CC with DD1. It hurt but my back hurt more from having to pace up and down and rock her to sleep every time. It did only ake about 3 nights nd after that she was a brilliant sleeper with no problems going to bed.

Now she's hit 13 it's another story and it takes me a solid hour to persuade her into bloody bed every night.

kalo12 · 30/06/2009 21:31

vdery sorry for you. . my ds is similar, I was at the end of my tether, but now just go with the flow, he's 16 months now.

at seven months i discovered that he was dairy intolerant when trying to get him to have a bottle, i gave up dairy myself and he ggot much better, he still bfs for comfort because i think that if they have stomach ache it relieves the pain, now he does it for habit.

i am plannning on trying dr Jay's night weaning technique soon.

I take it you co sleep?

HumphreyCobbler · 30/06/2009 21:32

CarGirl that is very interesting. Will def book an appointment as soon as possible. We have tried letting her cry in dh's arms or while pushing in the buggy, she falls asleep eventually, the only problem is that she wakes again within a few minutes and we have given up the attempt. Perhaps we just need to be more consistent and try repeatedly over a few nights rather than giving up after one go?

On a good night she wakes a couple of times for a feed, on a bad night she is awake four or five times.

We have a couple of car journeys most days and she sleeps during those. She is obviously knackered in the evenings.

Thank you so much all of you, I am grateful for the messages of support and advice.

OP posts:

Skimty · 30/06/2009 21:43

Could your DH drive around one evening and give you a break?

MummytoFelix · 01/07/2009 14:35

You have my symapathy also.

I have the same problem, the difference being that my DS used to sleep ok, but recently I have started feeding him to sleep again (I'm kicking myself)and I know EXACTLY what you mean about having your evenings revolve around feeding him to sleep. I'm also fed up, frustrated, exhausted...

Myself and DP are about to have a chat and try to formulate some kind of plan. I will definitely post on here if we have any wonderful ideas. Until then, hang on and sleep whenever you get a chance.

I'm thinking of you!

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