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anyone please please help me with my 7 month old. i cant cope much more!

(29 Posts)
mad4myboys Sun 28-Jun-09 21:55:32

Firstly i apologise as i have to run off in a min to deal with ds1 who has bad chicken pox so trying to post very quickly

I started a thread the other day

please read my 4th comment as i dont have the time to re type it. I really need help and im considering getting a professional in to help me as i have nightmare getting ds2 to sleep and ds1 makes it even harder

thisisyesterday Sun 28-Jun-09 22:02:59

is the main problem that you can't get him off to sleep?

tbh I would just go with the flow and do whatever you need to do to make it work. for instance, don't worry about him falling asleep on the bottle, or rockinghim to sleep if that is what works right now.

his night wakings may not be tummy cramps, mnany babies still wake frequently in the night at his age.

i honestly wouldn't worry about how much milk he takes either. imagine if he was breastfed, you'd have no idea how much he was getting and you wouldn't be concerned, so trust him to take what he needs.

i had a similar age gap to you with my first 2, so I do know what it's like trying to get them both into bed, and obviously it's made more diffficult for you with ds2's reflux and getting him to settle.
Have you tried settling ds1 into bed first and then perhaps taking ds2 into your room and lying down with him in the dark while giving the bottle?

catinthehat2 Sun 28-Jun-09 22:04:15

This is Mad4's 4th comment:

"By mad4myboys Thu 25-Jun-09 20:16:51 Add a message | Report post | Contact poster

wow monkey, your house sounds fun! I also have an almost 3 year old ds and yes same here with number 2 having to fit around number1!

I dont really know what to do with him really, he has stomach issues and is waiting to be seen at evalina hospital in london, he also has reflux on top of it. So i havent bothered much with a routine until about 1 month ago when i started to work hard at it

It depends what time he feeds in the night as to what time he gets up in the morning. And night feeds depends if his belly cramps wake him up or not! So today, he had a feed at 2.30am, up at 5.45am but wouldnt take any milk so left him for half hour and we played then he had about 2oz of milk. (ds1 gets up around now) he has breakfast or porridge around 7.30 then i struggled getting him to sleep, he slept from 10.30-11.45 (sometimes he only sleeps 45 mins) then after half an hour of being up tried him with milk and had about 1oz so gave him his lunch. He then fell asleep at 3pm in the car and i woke him at 4pm as didnt want him sleeping too close to bed. Tea at 4.30pm, bath at 6pmish (always hard as have to do both ds bed times on my own) i get him out before ds1 and i dress and try to give ds2 his milk while ds1 plays in bath. Sometimes it works great and ds2 will fall asleep on the bottle (another prob i know) and he will be asleep by 7pm latest and will wake up any time between 10pm and 3am again depending on when his tummy cramps wake him.

Sorry that was long winded! He is supposed to have 20oz of milk minimum a day and is on neocate. Im lucky if i can get 15oz in him. Just dont really know what to do as im now struggling to get him to sleep.I used to rock him to sleep but for the last week or so he wont go to sleep like that. Tonight he didnt fall asleep on the bottle, instead had to leave him in cot crying while i put ds1 to bed. Then got ds2 back up to try again with the milk but his tummy kept cramping and he wouldnt sleep, eventually fell asleep on the bottle at about 7.30.

His illness i know causes us probs and im not sure if CC type thing will be cruel to do to him (if he gets in pain at the time) I always thought i knew when he needed to sleep (always rubs his eyes) but i think he is shifting his routine but im really struggling with him. He wont get sorted medically overnight as still havent been to the specialist whom we are praying will work out what is wrong with him.

sorry thats long winded, just dont know what to do "

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 28-Jun-09 22:11:43

Message withdrawn

mad4myboys Mon 29-Jun-09 09:50:09

sorry i didnt respond last night. Im okish with a non routine but my main problem is not being able to get him to sleep. From about 2 weeks ago i was able to rock him to sleep in the day and at night he'd fall asleep on the bottle whilst ds1 was in the bath which worked great but for some reason now none of this iwill work. In the day he is kicking off against me and struggling with me, wont relax into a sleep like he did before and at night he wont fall asleep on bottle, i end up bringing him downstairs after his and ds1 bath and waiting for him to settle and try get him to sleep, last night that wasnt until 9pm. I really dont know what to do. Is my lack of routine with him contributing to his fighting going to sleep even though he is tired? Las few days ive had to take him into the car to go to sleep which istnt really possible twice a day plus ds1 screaming in his carseat as doesnt want to go for a drive!

thisisyesterday Mon 29-Jun-09 11:06:50

not sure it's down to lack of routine. i've never really had a routine for any of my 3. ds1 nd ds3 found their own routine pretty quickly, ds2 NEVER had one and we just had to watch him for swigns of tiredness and settle him down as and when.

I wonder though if he is getting overtired and that's why he is difficult to settle?
I am sure that at that age mine were ready for a nap as little as 3 hours after getting up, so if your LO is waking before 6 then you could maybe try settling him down for a nap at around half 9 or thereabouts?

I do remember a long period with ds2 where we had to go out for a walk every day to get him to go to sleep.
i know it takes more time out of your day, but when you think about it he's getting a nap and you and ds1 are getting some fresh air/exercise and it can actually be really nice.

i am sure it's just a phase though and soon enough he'll change the rules again and start doing something totally different!

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 29-Jun-09 11:33:04

Message withdrawn

mad4myboys Mon 29-Jun-09 11:34:15 he got up at 7am (unheard of) after a feed at 4am and was playing with ds1 when i thought by 'time' he should be going to sleep but he was rolling round giggling with ds1 so i left him as no signs of tiredness. Took him upstairs at 10am, gave him bit of milk in his room with curtains shut tried cuddling and again wa kicking me away, put him in cot and starts crawling round it crying, went in tried to cuddle, kicked me away, put back in cot and so it went on. After 20 mins id had enough but eventually after alot of moaning and flipping about and me stroking his back he finally went to sleep. What do i do? Do i keep doing this to get him to sleep? WWUD?

mad4myboys Mon 29-Jun-09 11:39:21

x post

5inthebed Mon 29-Jun-09 11:44:37

I have a 7 month old DS3, and he doesn't have a great routine, or sleep that great either. You have my utter sympathies.

I actually had to get my HV out last week as I was at the end of my tether through lack of sleep.

What is your DS2 like on solids? Are you allowed to give him the same as other 7 month olds, or is his diet limited due to his stomach problems?

hobbgoblin Mon 29-Jun-09 11:45:25

Where are you?

Am historically sleep trainer/nanny but am now just hugely pregnant!

May be able to help....

5inthebed Mon 29-Jun-09 11:48:36

Just read your last post. I do think that you should maybe try to get him to get used to going to sleep on his own, rather than having you there to get him to sleep iykwim.

I have been getting DS3 to have a nap in the morning, 2 hours after he has had his bottle and breakfast, regardless of if he looks tired or not, and he has been going to sleep himself within 5 minutes each time. He might not look tired, but he is going to sleep, so he obviously must be! I'm not feeding him to go to sleep, which I think is maybe part of the problem for you.

Also, try not to worry about trying to get all that milk into him.

mad4myboys Mon 29-Jun-09 18:57:26

5inthebed, he loves eating but he is very restricted, at the moment can only eat fruit, veg, rice and oats. Cant eat any protein foods such as meat, fish, beans, lentils etc. He is also having to just have purees as has very weak gag reflex.

Hobb, im in the south east, what would you suggest? btw, pity you with this heat, i wa pg in june 06 (when ds1 was born) and was hottest on record so i feel your pain!

feeding him to sleep WAS a problem but isnt now as he doesnt do that anymore which is annoying in a way! After the sort of succes of this am nap, this afternoon i couldnt get him to sleep at all so ended up falling asleep on bottle bout 6pm.

5inthebed Mon 29-Jun-09 21:31:20

Have you tried giving him some oatabix for supper before his night time bottle? Just the one. I gave my DS3 one last night, and he slept right through, for a full 11 hours! You just add a bit more (warm) milk than normal so it becomes a paste iykwim.

mad4myboys Tue 30-Jun-09 09:45:34

get him out of bath, downstairs for oatabix, back upstairs for milk then bed you mean? wouldnt work as ds1 would be in bath, but could feed him in bathroom i guess. He has his tea 4.30ish and he has porrige, would you still do oatabix?

hobbgoblin Tue 30-Jun-09 12:04:34

I'm in Herts. I think the whole situation needs assessing really. Sounds like straw clutching is taking place a bit and you need a holistic approach that looks at the problem from where it started.

Got to say I totally go against the fill them up before bed thing - sleep problems are emotional so much of the time and nothing about food. So long as not starving then food is not going to be the issue imo.

As I am bored and impatiently waiting for baby to be born am contemplating suggesting no success no fee session if you're near/interested?

mad4myboys Tue 30-Jun-09 13:15:40

im about 2 hours from you (depending where in herts) would you want to be so far away from home in late pg? Are you self employed?

Today i had a bit of success, he woke at 7am, so i took him up at 9am with some milk, cuddle then put him down in cot, he was crawling round his cot for about 25mins, not crying just playing, i went in twice 2 check on him and then at 9.30 went in, laid him down stroked his back, kiss, then he went to sleep. But just for an hour normally has 1.5-2 hours. This pm he has fallen asleep in car as was out so not really sure where to go....

is it going to take longer to sort if he falls asleep in car? have to take ds1 to preschool twice a week and he'll fall asleep on way back

hobbgoblin Tue 30-Jun-09 14:07:03

Sometimes just me offering a session spookily sorts the problem! grin

Will check in later, am in middle of my 10th full house clean at the mo.

I'm St Albans btw. and was self employed - but now work full time in Family Support with the odd thing here and there Freelance wise.

mad4myboys Tue 30-Jun-09 14:14:53

about 1 3/4 hours i'd say, when are you due? I'd say not far away if all the cleaning is anything to go by!

What do you suggest i do now?

hobbgoblin Tue 30-Jun-09 14:54:19

Sometimes just me offering a session spookily sorts the problem! grin

Will check in later, am in middle of my 10th full house clean at the mo.

I'm St Albans btw. and was self employed - but now work full time in Family Support with the odd thing here and there Freelance wise.

mad4myboys Tue 30-Jun-09 15:41:29

what are you up to hobb?? thats your response from earlier!

mad4myboys Tue 30-Jun-09 19:32:34

wish i hadnt been so smug this morning. After falling asleep in car earlier he slept 2 and 1/4 hours (never done) so woke at 3pm, did usual, play tea, bath milk then put him down at 6.15pm and he is still awake now thrashing about sad dont know what to dp

hobbgoblin Tue 30-Jun-09 23:16:31

Hi Sorry, how weird. Don't know how I managed that double post all spaced out over the afternoon!

Just finished a PTA meeting and am zonked.

Sorry the good thing didn't continue.

Well, tbh. I could pick over the snippets here but my 'style' is to be involved and suss the family nuances. Let me read properly in the morning, post what I think on what's here and then if you want me to do a home visit or something we can talk about it.

The due date is 9th July, but 4th baby so am hopeful it will be sooner rather than later.

mad4myboys Wed 01-Jul-09 05:56:18

thanks hobb. 4th??? i have nightmares of having 3!!

Last night was hell. Fell asleep at 7.45pm in the end. Was up at 12, had a feed and then was up at 5.30am today!! So what do i do?? <<wailing emotion>>

It means i should be getting him ready to sleep at 7am!! Have to take ds1 to pre school 8.45. Im so so fed up. Tried getting him back to sleep but he wont, he playing on front room floor, very awake

mad4myboys Wed 01-Jul-09 07:08:59

ok so ive got him back to sleep at 7am as v tired but didnt take long! depending how long he sleeps this will really change his 'routine' today

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