help - dd 16 months is a terrible sleeper and always wants in our bed!!

[scottishmummyofone]

DD is 16 months and has always been a terrible sleeper.

Last night for instance was a typical night.

Bed - 11pm
wake for bottle - 12.30am
wake up - 4.30am

I tried to encourage her to lie down and go back to sleep = SCREAMING. Tried to get into bed beside her = SCREAMING. Offered rest of the bottle = SCREAMING. Picked her up and took her into our bed = SLEEP FOR DD, NO SLEEP FOR MUMMY OR DADDY.

This is what it has been like for a while. DH is going nuts, he wants his sleep and to relax in the evenings without having to entertain DD.

She's been a terrible sleeper since she was born. I have tried all the books, controlled crying, wake to sleep, even a sleep expert which was a waste of money.

She is in her own bed now as she hated the cot. she loves her big girl bed but her sleep is exactly the same.

We have black out blinds and we have a temperature thingie so we know if she is too hot or too cold. We have also tried to wean her off her bottle and the dummies without success.

Any tips? I am a full time working mum too and it's so so hard

[ches]

Have you tried pain meds for her teething? She is surely over-tired (unless she sleeps a great deal during the day) so you can try bringing her bedtime forward 15 min a day.

DH sounds like he's making proclamations from on-high. How about letting him do some settling in the night?

She WILL grow out of this and she WILL become a deeper sleeper. Unfortunately DS is 28 months and is only now starting to do so. He still wakes about 3 times a night (sometimes only once to have a wee if his teeth don't hurt).

In my experience (and it sounds like yours too having tried so many things) it's easier and more successful to develop coping strategies rather than force a change on your child. It absolutely does get easier as they get older to implement changes, though.

[singalongamumum]

Oh you poor thing, scottishmummy. It sounds terrible and I too know how terrible lack of sleep can make you feel- and working as well, oh my goodness!

I agree with Ches that if you've tried everything, then for the time being find some coping strategies so you can have some more sleep, and this may help you and DH be able to talk through more possible solutions.

Would it help if you had a bed in DD's room? This may help her settle and you sleep, and will definitely give DH more sleep (this will help you in the end because he can do more support in evenings/ at weekends so you can get more rest too IYSWIM).

OR send DH into the spare room/ DDs room for a while until everyone feels more healthy, then you can move her out again gradually?

Your DD must be as overtired as you are, and this will be stopping her sleeping so well (as I'm sure you already know if you've read all the books!). So first things first- get some sleep whatever it takes and work from there.

THIS WILL PASS, all children sleep better in the end and IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

[singalongamumum]

Oh I just had another thought. It sounds completely mad but something that helped DS was watching In The Night Garden daily and me going on and on about how cosy everyone was in their bed with their snuggly pillows. Also, we got a doll and put her to bed a thousand times a day and played lots of sleep games ourselves. I got him a pillow and made a really big deal of how snuggly it was (!) and slowly slowly this did make a difference (DS now 21mo and waking once a night if not teething/ ill- nothing short of a miracle, I promise!).

[scottishmummyofone]

thanks for this. She loves ITNG. We have made her room totally ITNG related in the hope this would help. But no