settling themselves to sleep(14 Posts)
If it's working ok for you, I wouldn't worry about it. Neither of my sons got used to settling themselves to sleep before I made them get used to it. I think it's easier to do that when they're bigger (6 months +).
Ds just getting used to it now at 14 months.
Some do it fine & some have to be made to...
Don't feel bad for at least another year, please, it's not worth it. Just enjoy him!
Tipex - me again !! DD does not happily go down and drop off. She is either exhausted from not sleeping during the day or else cries and moans for about 1/2 an hour before going off. Sometimes I use a white noise CD which works like magic but until she was 14 weeks we used to keep her up with us till about 10.30 cos she would just cry if put down. We decided to get a bit tough with her as she was then sleeping 12 hours from 10.30 and started to get grumpy in the evenings so was obviously tired and could sleep 12 hours so we thought we had to bring it forward. We don't just leave her - we go in and calm her down if she gets upset but try not to pick her up.... So we're not all perfect on the feb board !
I think that's fine though Tipex. It doesn't harm him. I sometimes think some babies need a bit of a cry to discharge energy or as a way of saying "Oh, I'm so tired!" before they go off. I used to put ds down, and then go straight downstairs and put the kettle and the radio on. If he wasn't quiet by the time I'd made tea, I'd go back up, but he almost invariably was.
Tipex, my dd was like that. Although she would sleep in a car - in fact the only way she had a nap was in the car, the pram, or my arms - or her lovely, lovely Graco swing. I used to bf her to sleep, put her ever so carefully into the swing, switch it onto high speed, and that was it for 90 minutes... Until she was 5 months when we did controlled crying. And boy, was there a lot of crying. I think she was just outraged at the idea of sleeping without some arms around her. She still hates going to sleep.
Ds on the other hand, loves his cot. And I'm not doing anything different - which makes me feel so much better, now I know it wasn't anything to do with my parenting that made dd such a screamy sleeper!
If rocking him to sleep works, do it!
Ooh, Tipex - are you saying he screams for 50 minutes even if you feed / rock him? Or is that if you're trying to get him to sleep in his cot and you're standing there patting his back or whatever?
Also - have you tried putting him in his cot and then kind of half getting in with him so you've got your body close to him, your arms around him (one finger in his mouth to suck, one hand patting his back to a heartbeat rhythm!). Might fool him into thinking he is being held.
A collection of thoughts...
Can you feed him to sleep and then put him down? Or does he just wake up straight away? (I know you're not supposed to feed them to sleep, but this sounds like a case for allowing a bad habit and getting him out of it when he is older!).
(((I assume you're satisfied that he isn't in pain / hungry?)))
And does it make any difference to the amount of screaming if you're there or not? Cos if not, don't feel guilty about leaving him to it - you can go back in every 10 minutes and stroke him a bit.
Have you tried swaddling him in a very dark, quiet room, in case he's totally overstimulated?
how long is your lo awake for before a nap? With some babies, by the time they show tiredness symptoms, they're already overtired. The screaming you're describing sounds like overtiredness/overstimulation and your lo is screaming to block out any other stimulation. Your lo should be awake for a maximum of 2 hours before having a nap. I would start a naptime routine after 1 1/2 hours (regardless of whether your lo has given tiredness cues) and keep everything really calm. You could also try swaddling as at this age they dont know that their limbs belong to them and seeing them waggling about overstimulates them further. hope some of that helps anyway!!
My DD was like this at 4 months and I ended up feeding her to sleep for naps and night time. It worked for me and I didn't feel like the whole day had been wasted with trying to get her to put herself to sleep - I know how exhausting and demoralising that is. It sounds strange but have you tried rocking him in a cupboard? Our DD calmed down quite quickly in the cupboard as it was pitch black inside and all she could hear was my heart beating. By the way DD was a nightmare at naptime, sleeping etc but at 10 months needs 5 mins of rocking to get to sleep and that's it. So try not to worry, there is a good chance he will grow out of it - he is still very little.
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