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Two year old and 8 month old sharing a room.....am I mad to even consider it? and if you do it, how does it work?

(8 Posts)
LackaDAISYcal Wed 17-Jun-09 20:37:08

DD is just two, DS2 is almost 8 months old and for various reasons I want him out of my bedroom in the (probably misguided) illusion that he will sleep better when the Milk Bank of Mum isn't six inches away.

DD is not known for settling easily at night and this has been getting progressively worse; to the point that we have collapsed the toddler bed and put her back in her cot as she was emptying cupboards and playing with toys.

DS2 otoh goes down easily and is usually tucked up in bed by 7.30 at the latest.

Sooooo, first night of them both being in the same room and DD is shaking the bars of the cot and screeching and DS2 is sitting on the floor in front of me watching Celebrity Masterchef hmm

Am I nuts to even consider them sharing? And how do I get DD to go to sleep once she is in bed?

I'm on my knees through lack of sleep and ferar for my already fragile sanity if we don't get this sorted soon.

any advice gratefully received.

jocie Wed 17-Jun-09 21:21:17

not sure ive got any advice, we're just about to move ds2 (10 months) in with ds1(3.5 yrs). He's down to usually 1 night feed and when we were camping at weekend his crying didn't wake ds1 up. Ds1 has always been a good sleeper though thankfully.
Is your ds2 in his own cot in your room or co sleeping? is it worth percervering for a little ion your room maybe with cot on other side of room/trying to settle in other ways? Have you got a oh who could try settling him?
RE: dd is there anyway you can move the toys from her room so she can't play with anything and do the rapid return thing where you put them straight back in bed without engaging in talking.
Would it work if ds2 was in cot and asleep first(dd having story etc in your room) and then when ds2 asleep dd get into bed and someone lie with her till she falls asleep? this should hopefully get a shorter and shorter time till she's happy to go in bed and just a 1 min lie with her or something and then able to leave her to drop off by herself.
Not really sure if any of this helps but couldnt not post as felt your tiredness!!sad

janx Wed 17-Jun-09 21:42:05

We finally have our two in the same bedroom, but it took a looooooooooong time. Ms dd is 4 and ds is 18 months. Like you I want ds out of my room, but we ended up having dd in our room as ds woke up so easily and it was the only was dp could settle him back to sleep. I was determined that by 1 he should drop his noghtly milk demands and by having him a separate room it meant dd didn't wake up iyswim. We finally moved them back in together about two months ago - luckily dd is a good sleeper as ds regularly wakes up at 5am

I think you need to crack the night feeds first - would you consider having dd in your room for a bit?

LackaDAISYcal Wed 17-Jun-09 21:54:29

all good stuff jocie, thanks.

He is in a sidecar cot, so co-sleeping "lite". We haven't got any room to put the cot at the other side of the room unfortunately. DH is great with him, but he has early starts in the week and is already in trouble at work for falling asleep at his desk! He occasionally sleeps downstairs with him at the weekend, during which he will wake but his dummy or a couple of ozs of EBM usually gets him back to sleep (which suggests to me it's more comfort than hunger. He hardly feeds in the day at the minute either; probably because he is taking too much on board at night!

It hadn't crossed my mind to stay with DD until she settled; it's certainly one option, as is having her in with us for a few weeks/months until the baby is <hopefully> sleeping through.

We removed the toy boxes from DD's room; that's when she started on emptying the cupboards. she also fell asleep on the floor right behind the door and I had to slide her across the floor with the door before I could get in there. Felt a bit worried after that that we might not be able to get in.

My DS1 was never this much trouble; moved him to a bed at 17 months and he has only just started getting out of it after bedtime now at age 7!

the baby finally settled at 9; so hopefully that'll buy me another couple of hours anyway before he wakes up for his first night feed!

Slickbird Wed 17-Jun-09 22:01:18

Hmmm, it's a tricky one isn't it? It may just be that you have to put up with a bit of crap to start with and then hopefully it will settle down. They do say that siblings do get used to sleeping through the noises of each other. We are about to move rooms around at the weekend - my 8 year old is going into a smaller room and then the two wee ones will share - DD2 is 21 months and is sometimes easily woken, DS is 3 months old - but we won't be putting him into that room until he starts sleeping through. Or gets to 6 months. I worry too that he will wake her, but she is staying in her cot for the forseeable future as I can't be arsed with her getting up (and potenially dropping something on DS's head by accident!)

But I am really keen to get all the stuff in the same room cos at the moment it's all over the bloody place.

I think really it may be just a matter of time and putting up with rumblings to start with. I do think it's important to get them out of your room at some point round this mark tho as you do tend to sleep better and don't wake at every whimper. (Or is that just me? hmm) Good luck and let us know how you get on!

LackaDAISYcal Wed 17-Jun-09 22:07:15

slickbird your age differences are a bit similar.

We also moved DS from the big room into the little room a few weeks ago (much to his consternation!) so the littlies could share. He did want to share with his brother and although it would work; I know he would soon get very fed up with that as he wouldn't be able to leave all his teeny bits of lego all over the floor.

I'll update tomorrow. I'm off for an earlyish night, revelling in the fact that DS2 won't be lying there with his nose twitching....I might even try to read one of my backlog of novels I've not been able to get through since I was pregnant smile

twinklingfairy Thu 18-Jun-09 10:55:35

Hi daisy I saw this title and popped in for a look.smile
I will have to do this at some point too.
Am totally putting it off though!
Hoping I can get DS sleeping through first.

I liked the idea of taking DD into our room for a bit, but would be a little worried with yours if she is screaming the house down at being in a cot. Maybe she would find the whole idea too exciting? And then fight about going back into her own room/cot?
Just a thought, hope you don't mind.
Would she go in after DS was asleep, if told that she had to be veryvery quiet and a big girl etc etc?
In theory, it might help them both?
But that is all it is, a theory, I have not been there yet so ignore my ramblings if you wishsmile

LackaDAISYcal Thu 18-Jun-09 13:08:26

No twink, all contributions gratefully received.

Telling her to shush as he was sleeping worked for all of ten minutes though wink

We had some measure of success last night though. After finally settling DS2 at 9, he slept through until 5am. This is progress!! I think he would have slept longer as well, but DD woke up shouting (I think she'd had a dream) and that woke him up.

He fed and then napped on and off from 5 till 6 and then he was up for the day and he has only had another hours sleep since then. surely not enough for an 8mo old?

We shall persevere with it for a few days and see what happens. If all else fails, I can start the bedtime routine at 5pm and hope that they will all be asleep by 7 grin

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