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14 wk dd waking every 90mins to feed - help!

(11 Posts)
hoochymama Mon 15-Jun-09 10:39:22

my 14 wk old dd woke every 90 mins last night to feed, some feeds were only 5 mins long, others more like 20-30mins.Actually, I think she slept from 5.30-8.45 without waking.

For the last month, she has been waking every 2 - 2 1/2 hours, which I put down to growth spurts, teething etc. but I can't cope with it anymore, it's making me want to give up bf.

She is 5.2kgs, ebf and I feed her on demand, during the day she feeds roughly every 2 1/2 hrs. We were co-sleeping but she just wanted the boob in her mouth all night, so we switched to a bedside cot. For a few nights it went well (by that I mean feeding every 2 1/2 hrs) which I can just about cope with, but not every 90 mins.

We don't seem to be able to get the right bed time - which is prob part of it. If we put her down at 7pm she falls asleep easily, but wakes 30mins-1hr later, and then seems to go down for 9.30, so we tried that last night but it was a nightmare, she ended up overtired,

Anyway, can anyone help? Sorry for ramble.

HullabaLuLu Mon 15-Jun-09 11:09:46

Hi hoochymama, I don't have any specific advice but just wanted to say I know how you feel. My dd did exactly the same thing around that age and its still not really great (she's 20 weeks now). We have good nights and bad nights.

How I cope now is co-sleeping (DH has now been relegated to a mattress on the bedroom floor so dd and I have a kingsize bed to ourselves). When she wakes in the morning for the day (usually around 6-7am) DH gets up with her and I get upto 2 hours lie in before he gets ready for work. DD has started having 2 hour naps in the afternoon so I go to bed with her then. I don't know if you have any other dc, that would make this harder I guess.

On the giving up bf, I can understand how you feel - especially when your dd just wants your nipple in her mouth all night to sleep. It is very hard. Does she have a dummy? My dd won't take one but it might help? Could you express and let your dp give dd a bottle?

We struggled with bedtimes for ages but over the last week she has settled into a 7pm-ready-for-bed routine.

It sounds like you're doing a great job, you're just exhausted.

Apparently behaviour like this is common at 4 months which is why so many people wean early thinking their baby needs solids but it doesn't help (so I've read!). Come join us for a moan/moral support on the 4 month sleep thread.

hoochymama Mon 15-Jun-09 17:24:34

hi Hullabalulu, thanks for your message, it's good to know that it's normal behaviour, I keep thinking 'what am I doing wrong?!'

She won't take a dummy (lord knows, we've tried!); dh looks after her in the mornings at the w/e similar to your arrangement, I'll suggest it for weekdays as well...

I find it hard to sleep in the afternoon, though I try to take her morning nap with her, recently she's been 'unsettleable' at that time [frustrated emoticon]

It gives me hope that your dd has settled into a bedtime, at the mo, it seems as though that will never happen, but that's just exhaustion, logic says it will happen eventually.

I thought it was a bit early for a 4 month growth spurt / dev milestone, whatever brings on the madness, but around 10-11 wks everything went crazy and then nothing changed at 12 wks, it settled down if anything, so maybe she's just a bit quick off the mark...

thanks again, I'll have a lurk on that 4 month sleep thread

HullabaLuLu Mon 15-Jun-09 18:08:06

FWIW I felt like my dd's 4 month growth spurt came early. The truth is, I doubt I'll ever know the reason for all these disturbances and odd behaviour but finding these little bits of info helps.

I found this on my travels around google. I feel better knowing I'm not alone.

I hope your dh goes for the weekday arrangement. I thought it would be a temporary thing with my dh but he really enjoys his mornings with dd and its probably good for them to have time together without me in the background saying "have you changed her nappy? I think your stubble is a bit rough on her face! She likes X/Y/Z". Its good that he works these things out on his own.

Lurk away on the 4 month thread or join us...its gone a bit quiet since I joined lately. It'd be nice to have someone new to chat to! smile

Missmodular Mon 15-Jun-09 20:58:44

Hoochy are you me?? grin

I've just been moaning on my postnatal thread about my 14wk dd2 waking every 90 mins. I too thought it was a growth spurt but it's been going on for more than a week now and it's knackering me out. We do co-sleeping as well. I had started to try and move her into the moses basket when she'd finished feeding but with these constant wake ups I've given up.

The things I'm trying are:
Have formula and a bottle on hand for emergency handovers to DP
Cluster feed leading up to 7pm (tho not easy with a toddler to put to bed as well)
Go to bed early every other night (8-9pm)
Erm, that's it <looks around desperately for more advice>

If she's feeding every 2.5 hours is it possible she's not getting enough of your hindmilk? I'm no expert but I've been told that if a baby breaks off early, ie before she gets to the hindmilk, and then you change sides, she'll only get foremilk, which won't keep her satisfied for long.

However, if she's using your boob for comfort rather than food, I guess the key is trying to find another way to comfort her, or help her comfort herself. DD1 didn't take a dummy and I remember finding it very difficult to settle her in ways other than bfing - but it worked out okay in the end and now she's a great sleeper. Keep in mind it's a phase and will pass - hope yours is soon!

ches Tue 16-Jun-09 02:49:50

You can try cluster feeding in the evenings -- put her on every hour and load her up with hind milk. Beware, however, that she'll probably start having her longest stretch of sleep as soon as she goes off from this cluster feeding. I used to prop myself in front of the TV when DS was this age. (It's the only year I watched Idols, much to DH's chagrin! )

hoochymama Tue 16-Jun-09 15:00:38

hi everyone, thanks for your messages, you won't believe it but she slept from 9pm til 8am with feeds at 2am and 6am!!! That's the best I think she's ever done!! I'm dizzy with happiness, though it's probably the last time she'll do it, I daren't hope otherwise...

We've been doing the cluster feeding for weeks now, doesn't seem to make much of a difference, but will keep on going with it.
She won't take a dummy, but she is starting to find her thumb a bit more consistently now, so hopefully she can soothe herself with that a bit more now.

I took her swimming for the first time today, so maybe that'll make her sleep tonight...fingers crossed.

Hope you all have a good night's sleep tonight

HullabaLuLu Tue 16-Jun-09 16:17:17

envy

grin

hoochymama Wed 17-Jun-09 11:03:13

well, it didn't last!! up every 2 hours til 4 when she had an enormous bout of wind, kept us up til 6am farting and squawking. Sigh...

narmada Wed 17-Jun-09 14:27:52

My dd is much older now but I remember those days well... it's a total killer and well done for sticking with the BF. It will be worth it in the end.

How does your DD go to sleep? Does she do it with the boob in her mouth? If so, I would bet my bottom dollar that she is dependent on your nipple to get herself to sleep. When she wakes in the night, she can't put herself back to sleep even if she isn't hungry. Finding her thumb as an alternative sleep prop is good, because it is attached to her and can't fall out of the cot, and best of all, it's not your nipple!!!

You could try putting her down sleepy but awake and see if this helps with the night waking, if you're not already doing so. She might protest a bit at first, but you can pat her or talk to her gently or something - I never wanted to leave my DD to cry alone, so we avoided that.

Best of luck, no sleep is so hard.
Narmada

hoochymama Wed 17-Jun-09 18:54:37

thanks Narmada, it's nice to hear words of encouragement with the bf.

At the moment, getting her to sleep is a mixture of boob in mouth / jigging around / wheeling up and down in pram / sling (not all at once!)

For the last few weeks, it's been our mission to get her drowsy like this and then put her down awake, I'm starting to notice progress, hopefully it'll start to pay off with less night wakings.

She is starting to find her thumb a bit more consistently now, often when she wakes, she'll start sucking her fingers, but then a look of extreme dissatisfaction passes over her face and she starts shouting for the boob.

Ah well, I suppose it can't last forever...

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