whats changed? help/advice please(11 Posts)
Allgonepetetong... first off... i don't think you've done anything wrong so stop beating yourself up about it
DS started getting more unsettled around 4 months... he was teething! First teeth came through when he was just 4.5 months old, nothing since except for lots of biting.
I'm also a 'guilty' mum who rocks her kids to sleep (well not dd anymore she's 3.4y . I did it with dd because she would never settle on her own even with controlled crying. DS (8m) settles much more quickly when rocked so hey why not!
IMHO whatever you feel is best for you and your child is best for you and your child iykwim There are so many books out there with so many different approaches that I found it quite dauting depending on which book I read I was still doing something wrong.
Can't give advice if it's anything to do with bf as I didn't last long.
Best of luck with ds, it might just be a phase.
And don't you just hate that phrase
I've been advised that erratic wakings at night are from hunger so you got to feed them, and same-time wakings are a habit so you got to break it. My ds woke every night at about 3am until I realised it was about the same time every night. After which I used a dummy to get him back to sleep, he just needed oral stimulation. If it's a growth spurt, you feed him that night but try to feed him more/ for longer if bf during the next day. This worked a treat for my ds, who didn't sleep for longer than 3 hours for the first 3 months, until I found out the idea of erratic wakings being for hunger. I know there's nothing worse than being woken every 2 or 3 hours - sleep deprivation is a form of torture !
As for rocking, well you've got to wean him off being rocked to sleep gently. I use the same routine for naps as bed time. Ds always gets put in sleeping bag, given a dummy, read a story then given his fluffy teddy. These are essential clues for him, if I rush it or miss one out, he's awake again in 10 mins.
Hope this helps
Growth spurt? They're quite common at this stage. I would feed as much as poss during evening and just before you go to bed and then whenever he wakes. It will get better, must seem desperate now, but it will change again. Huge sympathy (make that empathy as I'm just about to have my second ;)). My personal view on sleep habits is that it does, in the longer term, help them to get into a routine of being able to settle on their own - BUT your ds is still young. The way I started with my dd, when she was about the same age, was letting her settle herself with me nearby for her daytime naps, when she was less frantic (sort of 'grumbly', but not screaming) It was hard, but I found that she would grumble away for about ten minutes and then fall asleep. Then transferred this to night time sleeps. She's a great sleeper now, but say that with fingers crossed. Would also really recommend sleep 'cues' - we play dd bedtime music (still, at 19 months), and also have a Miriam Stoppard Light and Sound box which we turn on at night if she wakes (coloured lights and soothing sounds that lasts about ten minutes) Means that even if we have to go into her we don't have to spend ages settling her. But, again, your ds is only little, and also I don't think the sleep thing is ever completely solved - they get better, then they get ill or start teething and they're back to being unsettled. Sorry if thats waffly and good luck x
Don't think the other mums are doing better than you - they have different babies. My ds was like this, but my dd (12 weeks) is totally different.
On another thread Alux (do a search) had a similar problem to you and found setting up sleep cues (eg a musical mobile) really helped her ds get to sleep by himself. I also agree that 12 weeks is prime time for a growth spurt.
Haven't tried it myself, but know people who say it really helped. Why not give it a go? I know dd was always really noisy just before she went to sleep, no one could ever believe it when I said she's be asleep in a few mins, but not quite as what you're describing.
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