2 weeks old, can't settle at night(13 Posts)
You might think I'm being a bit over ambitious and have got too high expectations, but I had a really bad night last night and want some advice.
My DS is very chilled out during the day, sleeping loads in his moses basket or out and about, no problems. After a feed he goes down fine. He's also awake sometimes and chilled and happy.
But on a night time its a different story. He feeds for about 1/2 hour - an hour at about 6.30pm. Then he's hungry again at about 8.30pm and just wants to stay on the breast. When I put him in his moses basket he cries. So he's up and down, up and down for hours, literally. He only really got properly to sleep at about 2pm last night and I was obviously knackered. I don't believe he's hungry all that time but he seems to be suckling on the breast and if his dad picks him up instead he is rooting straight away, like he wants a feed. When he cries its more of an agitated grumble rather than a blue in the face scream, and we've left him for a bit, but it looks like it's escalating so I pick him up. I tried feeding him lying down and he settles much better but I would rather not get into the habit of co-sleeping if I can help it.
I also don't want to get into the habit of picking him up whenever he snivels, but he is very young and I don't want to just leave him to cry. Also he is so different during the night than in the day time, which I don't understand.
My boyfriend thinks he has his eyes open more because it is darker and thinks we should get a night light. Also I was thinking some music might help, but if anyone has any advice or suggestions I would really appreciate it.
Firstly, congratulations on your baby!
Reading your post has transported me back to the dark days when DS was that small. DH and I stood in either side of our bed with DS screaming and screaming on it not knowing what to try next.
That was just to reassure you that what you are experiencing is entirely normal
The best thing you can do at the moment is just feed him whenever he seems to want it. The comfort sucking he is doing is a big part of him sorting out your milk supply, and it's also because until 2 weeks ago he was inside you and the world is big and scary.
At this stage he is not going to learn any bad behaviours, and by picking him up whenever he is upset you will reassure and it will help him be more settled generally.
You could try music, DS always found it very relaxing.
The cluster feeding that he is doing from 6pm-2am is really normal, just go with it. Settle down with the remote and some nice food and get DP to wait on you hand and foot.
DD was like this - I went nocturnal for a few weeks. I just gave up my normal life, and learnt a lot about American sports on telly in the early hours.
After a while we got more used to each other and she gradually slept more at night... but if I hadn't been sleeping in the day I swear I would have gone insane.
My dd2 was like this and we quickly found she would cluster feed from 6 till mdnightish. even now at 8 months she feeds more during the evening then during the day.
He is only 2 weeks old and doesn't really know the difference between night and day he just knows tired and hungry. Plus it is hot so he will be drinking more.
All this cluster feeding will up your milk supply which can only be a good thing.
Try and relax, if you don't have to stick to a schedule don't just go with the flo get as much sleep as you can when he is sleeping and soon he will be sleeping in the night, it will just happen, some babies won't be rushed
Evenings are often a hungry time for breastfed babies - just feed and feed and make sure you have the tv remote and plentiful food supplies to hand! ( Iused tokeep a BIG bar of Dairy Milk in the pocket we store the remote controls in..)
You aren't doing anything wrong and it will gradually even out. Just try to get some sleep during the day and don't expect to much. You are not making lifelong habits here. Your son is very new and small and just needs a lot of cuddles, milk and snuggling.
Oh it's so hard in the beginning when you're just finding your feet. You and DS are both learning, so don't be hard on yourself about creating habits etc...
Cosleeping really is the easiest thing to do when you have an all-night feeder. But if you don't want to cosleep for the long term, don't panic, it's perfectly possible to get them into a cot having coslept a bit just to get through those early weeks.
To reassure you, we coslept with DD until she was about 8 weeks, then started to put her down in her bedside cot at 'bedtime' (7ish) from 8 weeks onwards when her day/night bodyclock had sorted itself out a bit and the cluster feeding had calmed right down. She still came in with me from 11.30ish until morning for a few weeks as her night feeding was still pretty intense, but at 12 weeks we sorted this out and from 16 weeks she was in her own room waking only once a night for a feed. So what I'm trying to say in a really long winded fashion is do what you have to do, and it will sort itself out in the end!
agree with the others,try & get an hour ot two at the times during the day when he is settled, warm bath, a sleep, I think my 3 children were all unsettled at that time, this will pass...Congrats on your new LO
Iloveavocado I would try to feed him regularly during the day (say 3 hourly) to ensure he's getting his milk intake during the daytime - even if this means you are waking him to feed him. That's what we did with my DS from one week old (we followed the Gina Ford routine) and he went from waking/feeding every hour in the night to feeding at 11pm and 3.30am (between 7-7)
Everyone else is right in that this time will pass, all to quickly as well, but I am a complete control freak and I couldn't cope with not being able to predict DS's feeding/sleeping so I wanted to do something which gave me a bit more control over it. I am a fan of routine and its worked for us but its not for everyone. HTH!
PS - do make the most of the tiny days, everyone told me that and I didn't appreciate it and now I wish I had!
Congratulations! You have a very normal 2 week old who is going through a very typical growth spurt. What he is doing is called "cluster feeding" and it is necessary to help stimulate your milk supply to increase to meet his needs. The growth spurt will subside in a few days, but there will be another one around 4 weeks, 8 weeks, 17 weeks and 26 weeks.
It sound's pretty normal to me. Just try and catch up during the day, if he is your first.
I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone for all your kind words. I'd never even heard of cluster feeding so it was very helpful and that bit of reassurance was great.
I also wanted to say a special thanks to moondog and kormachameleon for their particularly helpful posts. It's good that you took the trouble to write that. I was certainly thinking it was the end of the world! Thanks...
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