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Help me someone - We need a nights sleep.

(27 Posts)
Spoo Tue 19-Apr-05 10:23:33

I hope someone can provide some advice.

My 11 week old DS was sleeping from 8 ish at night through to 6a.m. waking at 2a.m. for his feed.

We have been moving his 2 a.m. feed gradually back by dream feeding to encourage him to sleep through.

After a few weeks, we are now at midnight with his dream feed. BUT the last two nights he has woken at 4 a.m. for a feed instead of 6a.m. We have tried ignoring him but his cries just get louder until one of us gives in.

Has anyone got any advice? I was thinking about getting hungry baby milk for that late night feed. He takes feeds every 3 hours of 5 - 6 oz during the day and I cannot seem to increase this any more than that.

Please help - my DH and I are suffering with now sleep and dread going to bed!

Frenchy72 Tue 19-Apr-05 12:05:43

Hi Spoo! I am now over this difficult time and looking back I think I have done the right thing. the first thing I could say is that you are very lucky if you sleep at all !! there is nothing you can do to try to change your baby's sleep or feeding patern. and there is no routine at this stage. people who pretend this are wrong and just make parents distressed. it would be quite unfair to the baby to make her/him cry. after all waking up in the night is what babies do, and honestly very few babies sleep through the night before 3 or 4 months.
so the best you can do if you are shattered is to keep the baby with you in bed (don't worry it is just for a while, baby won't take it as a habit) and keep a clean bottle by the bed along with a ready made milk can. so that the feeding is as short as possible. in any case keep the light very limited (I changed the bedside lamp to 25 watts, did wonders). keep your baby in your arms and fall asleep together (your arm resting on a pile of pillows). dh is a doctor and agrees what we have done was the best. You will remember this time as a happy privileged moment, this is very important.
hope this helps. good luck!

ambrosia Tue 19-Apr-05 12:12:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bundle Tue 19-Apr-05 12:15:34

only waking once during the night at 11 weeks? i'd say you were doing VERY well...

Spoo Tue 19-Apr-05 12:19:04

I think that both methods are applicable, but I am very anti having DS in my bed as I can't really sleep as he makes soo much noise. We have bottles all prepared and waiting so feeds are normally quiet and non disruptive. He has been a bit edgy this morning so I am wondering if something else is going on. He is normally such a placid baby!

I think I will try the hungry baby feed late at night and see if that works. I suppose we just have to keep trying different things and eventually we will find something that works well for us.

All babies are different and all parents are different. Thanks for the advice anyway Frenchy

biglips Tue 19-Apr-05 12:19:53

mine went into a sleep routine at the age of 8 weeks coz i changed her formula from gold sma to white sma and she slept thru the night. (from birth she was taking 5-6oz milk of 9 bottles per day so thats why i changed her formula)

biglips Tue 19-Apr-05 12:21:29

and in my opinion i wouldnt have baba in our bed (only when im feeding baba) as it gets to the point where baba prefer to sleep in your bed and not his own cot

flic23 Tue 19-Apr-05 12:23:03

Sounds like once a night is good, i also agree that babies can be in a routine very early. My DS was in special care for 2 and a half weeks and was in a routine from the day he was born. At two weeks he was feeding every four hours and sleeping inbetween so basicaly two night feeds. By 7 weeks he was going six hours between so one night feed and by 11 weeks he was going to bed at 7.30 with a dream feed at 10 and sleeping till 7.30.

I think each baby is different but if you are down to one feed now then just keep going and Ds may well sort himslf out I know mine did

bundle Tue 19-Apr-05 12:23:18

btw, your baby can only at this stage hold a small amount in his stomach, that's why he needs to feed at nighttime. also this (and other occasions to come) may be a growth spurt when they need more feeds

koalabear Tue 19-Apr-05 12:23:18

Spoo - you are right - all babies are different. IMO, at 11 weeks, if he's waking up in the night, he's probably just hungry, and I would feed him. He will eventually shift his 4 am feed later and later. My personal thought is that it is too young to expect to sleep through the night - I know some babies do / can - but typically, I think their tummies are too small to take the amount of feed they need for an 8 hour stretch. Good luck to you.

WideWebWitch Tue 19-Apr-05 12:24:13

I agree, once isn't bad for 11 week old. Can you and dh take turns in getting up so you each get a whole night sleep every other night? It's the only thing that kept me sane I think.

ambrosia Tue 19-Apr-05 12:24:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frenchy72 Tue 19-Apr-05 12:29:04

Hi Ambrosia
I really tried the routine, I had Gina Ford's book on my bedside. but it didn't work on my little boy. It just made me more stressed . You had easy babies lucky you. what is interesting is that Gina herself actually has got no children.

Would you mind explaining how you did influence the routine, because I probably used the wrong methods.

As for the co-sleeping issue, well, I did that on feeding purpose and stopped when my son was on solids at 4 months and slept through the night.
clearle the little girl who is 6 has got some other issues. bye

ambrosia Tue 19-Apr-05 12:34:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spoo Tue 19-Apr-05 13:13:11

Thanks to everyone for their comments. I should really appreciate what I have got as he goes down at 8 every evening and only wakes once during the night. I suppose I am just a greedy mum who likes her sleep. I should be grateful for small 14lb mercies.

I have just bought some hungry baby feed which I am going to try at my midnight feed only. I will let you all know how it goes.

Many thanks again

HappyMumof2 Tue 19-Apr-05 13:18:50

Message withdrawn

TokenBloke Tue 19-Apr-05 13:41:45

It's definately possible to have a routine but I'm sure some babies slip into it better than others. For our dd, I did the dream feed at midnight then dw breastfed at 4am, then again at 7ish. Gradually I brought my feed slightly earlier - 10mins every 3 days I think. Also, one night she suddenly slept through and the 4am feed was a thing of the past. I can't remember what order this happened in, or when the 4am feed disappeared though (dw would know!)

This worked well cos dw could sleep 10pm-4am and I could sleep 12-7 so we both got a reasonable chance for some kip.

Seona1973 Tue 19-Apr-05 13:52:17

there is a growth spurt around 12 weeks which your lo could be going through. Have you tried cluster feeding in the evening? e.g. feed every 2 hours before bed e.g. 4pm, 6pm, 8pm, along with your dream feed - this would help get a few more calories into him.

I do agree though that one night waking at this age is brilliant. Your lo is doing great! My dd slept through the night properly 8pm to 6am when she was 5 1/2 months but a lot of babies can need night feeds up till they are 6 months or even older.

Try also to be prepared for periods of time when your lo's sleep will go pearshaped - my dd had disturbances at 6months, 9months and any time she wasn't feeling quite right e.g. colds, ear infection, teething, etc. (not trying to depress you, just forewarning you!!)

flix Wed 20-Apr-05 10:40:10

I have to say you are very lucky to have 11wo who only wakes once. My dd now 9mths still woke 2 sometimes 3x a night for a feed until she was 7mths. I started her on formual once a day and that combined with increasing amounts of solids meant she finally slept from 7-7. If the baby is hungry feed them, if they're crying in the night, its easier to feed as they quieten and tend to go back to sleep. Its a lot harder and you get far less sleep if you leave them to cry for x amount of time before you relent and feed them anyway.

mumfor1sttime Wed 20-Apr-05 11:01:59

HI ALL!! my baby slept through from 7 wks old, due to advice from mum!! I feed sma hungry baby all day, not just night.I feed every 3 hrs and have strict bedtime routine, cuddles,bath,bed at 6.30pm. He wakes at 7.30am. I give larger feeds all day and extra 2 oz before bed. If he cries when I put him to bed[this is rare now] then I ignore him. I have friends who let their 3 yr old decide when its bedtime-I wasnt going to follow same pattern!!!

atlanta Fri 22-Apr-05 12:53:34

My baby is 9weeks old , im a single mom and im really stressed as i cant put her down at all.she was born by ceasarian section hence i kept her close to me as i didnt have any help and getting up was a pain. now she wont sleep without me holding her and she shares my bed as she will just cry and wont give up. i get very stresses as im on my own the maximum sleep i get in a day is about 4hrs.what can i do to break this pattern and ensure that my baby can sleep on her own and for longer.

Dominoes Fri 22-Apr-05 13:09:33

Hi Atlanta - I posted this a short time ago in response to someone who could only get baby to sleep whilst in their arms - may help

Like you, at one point it seemed that ds would only go to sleep in my arms (or whilst bring BF). I started off by swaddling and holding him gently in my arms ( sometimes patted his shoulder gently), then when I knew he was close to sleep - just as his eyes were starting to close, I would put him into his baby chair or moses basket. If he started to protest, initially I picked him up and repeated to put him back down when he was very close to sleep. After a few days, started putting him into chair/basket when his eyes were at that fixed 'stary' stage just before they start to close and instead of picking him back up, I could gently pat his bottom and make quite loud shush noises. Worked really well. After a week or so, I watched for the signs that he was tired and swaddled him and put him into his chair / basket without any real diffculty. My ds 'knew' that being swaddled meant sleep time. HTH and good luck with it I'm sure you'll get plenty of good advice on here

mumfor1sttime Fri 22-Apr-05 14:18:14

I have done exact same thing with mine and it worked. Dont be afraid to hear baby cry too, its ok.

Pheebe Fri 22-Apr-05 19:42:53

Hello all, just thought I'd add my tuppence worth. Spoo, as weird as this will probably sound to you at this stage try and enjoy the night feeds. They are such special moments with your son. Once I accepted that my ds really needed to be fed in the night and trusted to the fact that by trying to keep a loose routine but letting him drop his feeds when he was ready (tried every so often, if he woke again, just fed him) it all became much easier. My ds is 7 months and he's just dropped his dream feed (11pm before we went to bed) and I miss it desperately. He now sleeps from 6.30ish until anytime after 6am. I miss him and our special cuddles in the night. Support from your partner is vital, we decided to get up together, dh sorted out the bottle while I had a cuddle and kept ds calm then he went back to bed while I fed ds. Next morning dh would get up early with ds and let me have an extra hour to catch up. If he's sleeping good long stretches trust him to sort himself out. 11 weeks is such a short space of time when you have a whole life time together

Spoo Mon 25-Apr-05 20:18:52

Thanks Guys. It is good to know that we are on the right track and are ‘doing well’. I tried the hungry baby food and it seemed to give him tummy ache – so instead of waking up hungry he was waking up with tummy ache at 3a.m. – which was worse! We have now given in and decided to take every day as it comes and hope for the best. We have upped his day feeds and are keeping the dream feed. If he wakes in the night – we will just feed him and put him back until he is ready to go through. This seems easier than trying different things at the moment. I suppose he will go through when he is good and ready. Will keep you updated!

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