Comfort Sucking

[pookamoo]

My problem is lack of sleep. Still.

DD (15 weeks) goes down about 11pm usually, and is normally up for a feed about 1.30am, for half an hour or so.

She is then up again around 3.30. Usually until 5.30, so about 2 hours.

This has been going on for weeks and is not a growth spurt. (That is a whole other topic for a different thread!)

She isn't really hungry during those 2 hours, well she might be to start with, she'll have a feed, drop off to sleep, and then wake up and cry as soon as I put her down. Rinse, repeat etc. I am sure she wants the comfort, because the only way we can seem to settle her to sleep is to feed her (she is BF).

DH tries, but she gets more and more and more wound up. We tried it without me in the room, and she was supersonic with rage. I walked back in, and she was all smiles. Which is what makes me think it is comfort rather than hunger, because she stopped crying when she saw me, rather than when I fed her. However, I can't get her to settle without feeding her. Rocking, singing, patting, shushing, etc, she just winds up instead of down (we had a thread on this last week).

I get hardly any sleep. She has started to sporadically nap during the day (hurrah at last!)

We have tried putting her down earlier, but not to great success. She seems to think she has done all the necessary sleeping by about midnight and that she can stay up the rest of the night!

So, a friend has suggested offering her some water so that she gets the message, but I am reluctant as I know BF babies don't need water. She won't take her dummy any more, although she used to. She'll only take it if I have been BFing her until she is sleepy then I do a "swap" and pop her in the cot.

Any suggestions, wise people?
I just want to sleep for a longer stretch than 45 minutes at a time!

[pookamoo]

Have also posted in Feeding

[babyphat]

I know the feeling and totally sympathise. At one point, it got to 6am and I'd had one hour and 20 minutes of sleep. I just cried. There were a few nights like that.

Co-sleeping was what worked for us - feeding lying down and then she would stay asleep after the feed. I went from almost no sleep some nights to a full-ish night's sleep with just quick wake-ups for feeds.

Plus, because it causes you and the babe's sleep cycles to synchronise, I would wake up slightly before she stirred for a feed, was much less tiring than a rude awakening when you're conked out.

But I know co-sleeping is not for everyone, and my little one is only 6 months old so I have no idea what it will be like getting her into a bed when she's older.

[Babieseverywhere]

Another vote for co-sleeping here

I wouldn't underestimate the importance of comfort nursing, it is a way to be physically close to mummy and babies need that.

[pbo]

Sorry for the hijack, I have exactly the same problem with my 15 week old except that she won't co-sleep. We've tried but she doesn't like sleeping in our bed. We just end up with her crying and me getting all frustrated cos she won't settle. Even more annoying is that all my friends apparently have babies that sleep through most nights...

[smurfette15]

I have the same problem with my 14 week old so bumping. We co-slept for 1st 12 weeks but he was waking me every hour to latch on again. He made the transition to the cot fairly easily but is waking every 2-3 hrs to feed. He goes back down with minimal fuss but as he can go 4-5 hrs between feeds in the day, I would prefer these longer stretches at night!!!

[alannabanana]

i have a boy the same age (14 weeks and 2 days), and have also made the rod for my own back as it were by letting him comfort suck - now he wants to all the time! miriam stoppard would say that so long as your nipples arent sore, this is fine. i agree with her to a certain extent, but the thing is that you are the only one who can provide the nipple-comfort, and if they become too attached to it then they might be one of those kids who clings to you for dear life and wont go anywhere near 'strangers' - such as granny or uncle etc. not good i think. what ive started doing is as soon as i hear he's stopped swallowing and is just sucking, i break the latch with my finger and talk and smile at him, holding his gaze really intently. if he's still hungry he soon lets me know! but by reassuring him that he's still safe and secure and has my full attention without needing to have my nipple in his mouth, he actually doesnt fuss and just happily stares back.
its a habit to get them into (or out of) like anything, but i'd say for the sake of your sanity at night, try co-sleeping so that when she needs to feed you have to do little more than lie there. i frequently fall back asleep while my son quietly has his fill, and because he's lying down too, it doesnt take long for him to fall back asleep.
also, perhaps we should spare a thought for your DH too. i think it must be very disconcerting for men sometimes when they can't comfort their own child - i know it makes my husband sad when our boy just wants booby and nothing else will do. does he ever take any feeds?

pbo - i bet half your friends who say their babies sleep through are lying, and the other half are so sleep-deprived they think sleeping through is a 4 hour stretch! i feel for you though - i hope your baby settles down soon for you. maybe she's teething?

[ches]

You say it's not a growth spurt, but for all the rest with babies the same age, it probably is for you.

I agree it's probably teething. I'd be sympathetic, as initially I thought I was lucky having a late teether, but with him nowhere near close to sleeping through the night at 25 months due to teething (still), I'm not so sure.