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Support thread for those who were under the misguided illusion that their DC would sleep through by six mo - come and join!

(988 Posts)
arthymum Mon 02-Mar-09 10:34:10

Did you assume that your DC would be sleeping through by the time they were 6 mo - and now you've hit the milestone you realise you were wrong, wrong, wrong as you stagger out of bed 1, 2, 3 times a night? sad

Do you sometimes can't help but wonder if you'd done things differently (BF/FF/stuck with the dreamfeed/co-slept/put them in their own cot/followed a GF routine/listened to your MIL hmm) you'd be getting more sleep?

Do you sometimes dread meeting up with other mums with perfect sleepers (especially when said babies are way younger and tinier than yours)? envy

Are you in a permanent state of confusion and doubt about whether to 'try' something or not (CC, ssh-patt, PUPD, NCSS etc.) but feel it's never the right time (teething, cold, too young) and not sure anyway whether you have the bottle/energy to see it through?

Do you hold out faint hopes that they'll sleep better when they're on solids/when the teeth come through/when they're another pound heavier/when they're in the new gro-bag/when they're on more solids - and each time - wrong again?

Do you mostly cope okay but every now and then feel tired and miserable and sorry for yourself and burst into tears at the postman or get into a petulant fight in Sainsbury's? blush

Do you secretly fear that you'll be on here in 3 years time, posting about the fact that you haven't slept for nearly 4 years?

Then come and join me! I've seen you lurking on other threads but feel that we need a place to congregate. Share your tears, tantrums, triumphs and tips - and hopefully one by one, we can all eventually disappear off the thread and into the land of nod.... grin

spiralqueen Mon 02-Mar-09 10:57:31

You read my mind - know exactly how you feel.

My DD slept through from about 3 months then got a chest infection at 5 months and we've never been able to get back on track since. Have just about convinced myself that waking twice in the night is normal for a 14 month old - especially as you just hand her a bottle and she goes straight back off again and we hardly need to open our eyes.

MIL wants to give her Fenergans (sp?) but I don't think it's the right approach and besides its not for children under 2 anyway.

I may well start outdoing my DD for tantrums soon

hannahjb Mon 02-Mar-09 11:05:01

I can't believe this thread has been started before!!! DS slept through at 9 weeks, now 5 years old and is a perfect sleeper so just assumed (stupidly) that DD would be roughly the same! She is now nearly 10 months old and getting worse, every horrendous night over and done with is a night nearer to her eventually sleeping through, fingers crossed. Tried everything and nothing works, just hoping that given time, she will learn to sleep!!!!!

chocolategal Mon 02-Mar-09 11:08:17

LOL at finding this thread arthymum , my DS is only 3.5 months old and not the best of sleepers and EVERYONE keeps telling me he will be fine by 6 months!

Every single question you have written down i have thought about already!

I will watch this thread with interest!

arthymum Mon 02-Mar-09 11:09:38

Hi spiralqueen - was going to ban you from the thread on the grounds that you had two months sleep wink- then read that your DD is now 14 months. Wow, poor you.

It's hard when you know that lots of babies wake and it is quite normal - but you know that yours can sleep through (but doesn't) and everyone else's seem to! I thought we could all gather here and moan together.

fryalot Mon 02-Mar-09 11:11:37

I'll just be happy if dd2 (4.8) sleeps through by the time she's six years old, never mind six months!

To be fair, dp and I now no longer sleep together, one of us always sleeps with her in her bed. That way only one of us is disturbed, and she generally goes straight back to sleep after a quick cuddle. Sometimes we don't really wake up at all.

she did sleep through (iirc) four times though. I have started a "whooopppeeeee" thread every time. There aren't that many of them.

NorkyButNice Mon 02-Mar-09 11:13:54

DS is 17 months and most night he gets us up 3 or 4 times during the night. We've tried every trick in the book - managed to get him to sleep through for 4 nights running earlier this month then he started teething again and it all went out the window and he's worse than he was before.

I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall most nights - it's got to the point where I pull a pillow over my head when he starts crying and leave him to it for 10 minutes before going in to see him, as all he wants to do is get out of his cot and play (no matter what time of night it is).

If anyone has any bright ideas please do let me know!

suwoo Mon 02-Mar-09 11:16:58

DS is better now, he only wakes twice (occasionly once) and he is 2.3. I have just got him out of our bed by sleeping on the floor next to him in his room for 2 weeks- I am pregnant too! My DD slept through from 16 weeks and is now 7 and NEVER wakes up.
6 months pah!

ninja Mon 02-Mar-09 11:18:05

My dd is 5 months and up 5 or 6 (or 7) times in the night so I'm looking for the 'what I'd have done differently is....'

If you don't think I have the right to be here as she isn't 6 months yet, can I 'throw in' DD1 who was still waking up several times a night and sometimes for hours at a time at 18 months?

LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits Mon 02-Mar-09 11:18:20

LO is 7 months we had about a week of sleeping thru (i.e. 10:30pm to 7am) when he reached 6 months but his definition of "time to get up" is getting earlier and earlier, this morning it was 4am *props eyelids open with matchsticks.

seeker Mon 02-Mar-09 11:18:23

It is INCREDIBLY rare for babies to sleep through at 6 months. And the people who tell you that theirs did/do are either misremembering, deluded, lying or boasting. Honestly.

We went camping with another family with a "sleeping through the night" 7 month old once. The reason they thought he slept through the night was that they slept through him crying!

arthymum Mon 02-Mar-09 11:24:05

I knew you were out there!

Seeker - I know now that it is rare but only because of Mumsnet! I have three friends with older children who were all sleeping through by 6 months and currently have three friends with 12 week olds who are getting way more sleep than me! I really was beginning to think I was the only one. Now I know that's nonsense - which somehow makes it easier.

Mercy Mon 02-Mar-09 11:26:33

Squonk - ds was 5 years old last month and has just started sleeping through the night! (he did sleep through for a few months but it was so long ago I can't remember how old he was then)


lovelymama Mon 02-Mar-09 15:44:45

i'm in! DS is 9 months, slept thru about 7 times since he was born. been thru it all - up 10 times a night during 4 month sleep regression. got better after that then hit 6 month sleep regression which was worse than 4 months - he screamed for 3 hours from 2am for about 4 weeks. Getting better again now but wondering what regression will hit us next!

Seeker - so many people say it's rare for babies to sleep thru before 6 months but you should come to Bromley - nearly every baby in my NCT group/baby group has either slept 12 hours since 2 months old or at least only woken once for a feed then back to sleep. I am sooooo jealous of these mummies that just don't know what extreme sleep deprivation feels like! envy

bobsyouruncle Mon 02-Mar-09 15:55:15

ds is 4.5 (years not months!) and still doesn't sleep thought the night. Am trying hard to focus on the positives - he goes to bed and falls asleep quickly and easily in the evening so I always get my evenings to myself, and he's not up for long in the night... just long enough to get in with me & dh and disturb my sleep for the rest of the night grin I do usually end up in his bed and manage to sleep well though. But a full nights sleep is something I fantasise about.

lazybones Mon 02-Mar-09 16:09:24

DS is 11 months old and has slept through once- I didn't enjoy as DD (2.11) was up about 4 times that night. All I can say is sleep is for the weak! I've done it all and I'm settling for not caring so much anymore. I also have learnt that I'll take any old half hour to have a quick kip in.

DD was never a great sleeper, although I was annoying smug when she slept through at 9 weeks, something she conveniently forgot to do at 5 months and never really got back to. She did get better at about 2.6. We have a bedside cot now (just a normal one with the side taken off) so that we can all fit in when she climbs in too.

sambo303triesforScotland Tue 03-Mar-09 09:38:33

arthymum thanks for starting this thread, I have just 'graduated' (with honours) from the 4-5 month non sleepers support thread grin

well, ds is 6M tomorrow and unless a holy miracle happens tonight, I will be getting to know you all well in the coming weeks and months grin

ds has NEVER slept through the night, that's right, not once! He has recently managed almost 5 hours stretches which was lovely but now we're back to 2 or 3 or 4 hour stretches. I can cope with that, but it would be really really nice to get a full 8 hours in. I'm back to work in about 5 months, so I do need to get it sorted for then!!

we are talking about moving ds into his own room..I am worried this will mean me having to get up and go to his room to shush/feed several times rather than just reaching over for him. We may try this in the next few weeks as poor dp is at the end of his tether (light sleeper shock)

MrsJoeMcIntyre Tue 03-Mar-09 09:49:18

Can I join?

My dd has never slept through the night, she is 22mo.

All of the 'quick fix' solutions I have tried, just to get by, have now resulted in a massive problem, whereby dd doesn't go to sleep until around 9.30pm.

It's bloody awful.

arthymum Tue 03-Mar-09 09:58:06

Hello Sambo (and everyone else!) - I remember you from the 4-5 months thread - I was on there for a while but felt a bit under-qualified with my getting up twice a night, compared to some of you guys. My DS was 6 months last week and he did tease me once with a ten hour stretch (I didn't sleep a wink) but that never happened again. He is currently teething big-time and so we are back to 4-5 times a night. Why can't humans just be born with all their teeth?!

I am resigned to no sleeping miracles in the near future now but it's still nice to whinge every now and then (and not to my friends and their perpetually sleeping babies - one mum was complaining last week that she has to wake up her DD in the morning or she just sleeps on and on...envy)

micku5 Tue 03-Mar-09 10:09:15

DH and I were just talking about this last night. DD1 started sleeping through the night from 6 months onwards.

DD2 however is a completely different ball game and is up 7-8 times a night. She is 2.8 years old. 2 weeks ago we were up 17!!!!! times with her.

SJisontheway Tue 03-Mar-09 10:34:30

I'm in. DD1 is 2.8 and rarely sleep through. She has special needs though and it's kind of par for the course and we have accepted this. DD2 is 6 months on Sunday and not great. I thought she would be easier and to begin with she was. Regularly doing 2 5 hour stretches from about 6 weeks but then things went down hill. Now she wakes 3,4,5 times a night, Quick bf and back to sleep but with DD1 as well it's really hard going (DD1 can be awake for hours - as many as 5 or 6 sometimes). I'd love to get DD2 settled so I'd just have 1 to worry about

iamaLeafontheWind Tue 03-Mar-09 12:18:31

Hi Arthymum and everyone, so this is the graduate club! DD got through the 4 mth growth spurt we had 3 weeks of one night waking then straight into teething. People keep asking if she's moved into her own room yet - i rarely dare to admit that she's still in our bed, but until it gets warmer there is no way i'm leaving my bed 3 times a night.

peanutbutterkid Tue 03-Mar-09 12:20:39

I need to join this thread -- having terrible nights with DS3 (just turned 1). He's my 4th baby and worst sleeper by far -- DH even ends up doing that thing of walking the baby around the house to get him to sleep. Blech.

kalo12 Tue 03-Mar-09 12:24:18

arthymum, correct. i feel exactly that,
12 mths wakes up every hour.

anyhow, my sis has 4 kids,

i said ds doesn't sleep,
she says babies don't, I said what can i do, she said, 'nothing, there is nothing you can do'

she's right, if babies were meant to sleep there wouldn't be so many sleep training books on the market.

FF and CC are not natural, so really I think society needs to adjust and be really nice to mothers,
beds and bedrooms should be much bigger, houses with big roooms should be chaeper and any good telly should be on before 8.30pm

SJisontheway Tue 03-Mar-09 12:28:05

kalo - agree with the telly thing, but got a sky+ box and can now watch some decent tv again - if I get a chance. my bedtime is ridiculously early. What's FF?

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