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please help me sleep train my 13 mth im really at the end of my tether.....

9 replies

mum2samandalex · 26/02/2009 21:07

im on my own with two young boys which makes it hard anyway and to top it off this week ive got a stomach bug im too weak, sick and tired to sit at the end is cot for hours on end waiting for him to sleep. Only fo him to wake up an hour later when he realises im not there. Cant do this anyone im staring to lose is and am thinkng awful things wishing i never had him. He was better as a new born. I cant be there day and night for im one person and its starting to make me ill and depressed. Why oh why wont he just sleep.H eshare a room with his brother and its causing problems with his sleep.I dont want to resent him or wish i never had him.Im trying to settle him whilst throwing up in a bucket when al i want to do is go to bed

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mum2samandalex · 26/02/2009 21:14

please !!!

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lovelymama · 26/02/2009 22:21

i wouldn't do anything new while you're ill. there's no quick fix to correcting a child's sleep problem so if you start it now you won't be able to focus on it properly or see it through effectively. do you have someone to watch the boys for you during the day tomorrow so you can try and recover and then think about what you want to do about sleep?

Once you're better, you can think about your options. There are gently, gently options such as pick up/put down, ssssh pat or gradual retreat(search on mumsnet to see how to do these if you are unsure) or the harsher options such as controlled crying. If you decided to do CC, research it properly as it is hard work and won't work if you don't follow it through properly. While you are doing the sleep training you choose, could you move older DS in with you for a few weeks so that DS2 doesn't disturb his sleep?

Feel awful for you having to deal with this on your own. I hope you start to feel better soon and that a mate can do you a favour and watch the boys while you get some rest.

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BlueBumedFly · 26/02/2009 22:37

Can you put an article of clothing (small) that smells of you in the cot so if he does wake after an hour he might be able to settle with that?

You poor soul, you need R&R but I realise it is not that easy. CC is hard but it can work especially at this age if done properly. It really does depend on the child.

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mum2samandalex · 28/02/2009 10:45

hiya thanks for your replies. Feeling alot better now had to give in and bring him in with me as i was so ill. I def initely need to sort his sleeping out though as its not helping either of us. Ive put a pillow in his cot with my pillow case that ive slep on so that has my smell on, he has a bedtime cd on and alos a duvet, plus his cuddleys at the end of his cotive made it as inviting as possible. Im having to sit with his for age ages until he falls asleep which i dont mind to begin with but im finding he will make up an hour later he seem to be getting worse rather then better like hes relying on me. As soon as i go in and tuck him back in he tries to got to sleep again but now and then he will open his eyes to check im still there.

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emskaboo · 28/02/2009 10:52

This is exactly my experience, in fact I posted earlier today. Will be interested to see replies. Good luck. x

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BlueBumedFly · 28/02/2009 13:41

Are you using grow bags to sleep in? May make him feel more 'secure'?

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lovelymama · 28/02/2009 21:22

pleased you're feeling better. ah poor DS, he loves to have you near him when he's going to sleep and when he wakes from each sleep cycle and you're not there, he doesn't know how to get back to sleep. you need to work towards getting him to be able to sleep without you next to him. To do it gently, it will take a while. I mentioned gradual retreat in my first post, which is a nice approach to get DS to sleep without you. It will be tiring but should work. google it and see what you think.

controlled crying is an option but doesn't always work and is the most horrible experience of my life and would be so hard to do by yourself.

i hope other people have some suggestions for you so that you have a range of options to choose from.

all the best

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kalo12 · 28/02/2009 21:27

have you read no cry sleep solution.

I have same problem and am co sleeping now.

I know how hard this is. I go through phases of feeling really angry then a few weeks later feeling really chilled out and going with the flow.

I've only got one though, but am on my own too.

Please don't do controlled crying. Your baby needs to feel secure

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mum2samandalex · 01/03/2009 21:17

Thanks for the replie willlook into to differnt methods.Its weird as when i first joined this site and had had ds1 everyone was for cc and now i have ds2 the opinion seems to have changed loads. CC worked well with ds1 but wouldnt want to make ds2 even more insecure i need him to feel quite the opposite.