Is it really bad to let 7 month old baby cry to sleep if dh is right there with him?

[IlanaK]

Ds3 is a nightmare sleeper. Co-slept for 6 months, fully breastfed. Now at 7 months he has plenty of solids (BLW) and sleeps mostly in an Amby by dh side of the bed. He comes into bed to feed at night. He wakes pretty much hourly and i know he does not need that much milk.

We read NCSS and have tried it in bits, but to bed honest I just can't take the exhaustion for the amount of time it would take for it to work. This evening, ds3 would not settle to sleep (somewhat unsual as he normally feeds to sleep on my lap and then dh put him in the hammock mostly asleep). I fed him again and again and again, but he cried each time he was put in the hammock. In the end, dh bounced the hammock, shhhshhhed him and sat there while he cried himself on and off (sometimes angrily) to sleep.

So, my question is this: I hate the idea of CC or any type of crying it out. On the otherhand, if dh is right there with him, is it ok?

[Wonderstuff]

I dont have an answer for you, but we have tried this with dd, big differnce imo btween cio and sshh pat. The child is not being abandoned and expected to cope on his own but being asked to go to sleep without boobie. However we are yet to get dd sleeping through. She will sleep longer more often, but she will still have days when she will cry and cry when I don't give in, then go to sleep for an hour and cry some more, which is more exhausting. I have found co-sleeping gives me the best rest.

[IlanaK]

Interesting. Thanks for answering. Sometimes co-sleeping is easier. Last night I went back to full co-sleeping and actually found he woke twice as often. On the other hand, it was easier to get him back to sleep. I really feel we have to tackle this as I have two other children and no energy left to do anything with them.

I am not trying to cut out night wakings/feeds completely. Just reduce them.

[saymyname]

Have you tried pick up put down (which also involves sssh pat)?

Worked a treat for us in less than a week.

[IlanaK]

No, we have not tried that. The Amby hammock is great in that you can sit next to it and bounce it up and down while shhhshhing. It is probably similar to pickup putdown.

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

I really think what you are doing is fine. He will be fine, dh is right there, and lo is just learning how to go to sleep on his own, its different to what hesused to and hes cross about it, but it will be good for him in the long run, leaning to sleep well is a skill that will keep him healthy, so I say go for it!!

[TaurielTest]

Have a look at the Sears' Baby Sleep Book - there's a bit where they draw a distinction between cry-it-out-alone (which they're completely anti) and cry-it-out while being rocked or otherwose comforted by dad, as a last resort. Made sense to me...

[saymyname]

No, that's not what pick up put down is like. Pick up put down teaches the baby to settle themself to sleep without any kind of intervention from you (except a shush or a pat if they start to become unsettled). It means you don't need any sleep props like bouncing/breast/rocking/white noise.

My DS was the kind of being rocked or fed to sleep but now he doesn't need anything.

[saymyname]

You probs wouldn't be able to do PUPD very well with an amby hammock though, might be possible but I've never tried.

[BirdyArms]

What you are doing sounds absolutely fine to me. If he was crying on and off it doesn't sounds like he was very distressed. Seems like a sensible way to get him to go to sleep on his own.

[IlanaK]

Thanks everyone. I think when he wakes next I will feed him (as he has been asleep a long time) and then for the rest of the night, I will get dh to settle him as before until at least a 3 hour gap and then I will feed him again. I think we are in for a long night. Oh wait, every night is a long night at the moment

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

gook luck

[ches]

IMO crying while being soothed by a parent is okay.

[chandellina]

sounds like he is teething. this isn't every night is it? my 7 month old went through a phase of this and we finally did do a mix of CC and just plain crying.

like you, i would try to settle until there had been a three hour gap.

pretty much worked until he went off his solids a week ago and then i just wanted to get lots of milk into him.

he is getting back on food now and settling back though to just one or two wakings in the night. think that is the most they should have, really, at this age.

are you sure he is happy in the Amby? think those seem a bit small after six months. My guy was in a rocking cradle but by 6 months needed to get in a big cot because he wanted to roll around, etc.

he was getting really frustrated in a confined space.

good luck!

[ChairmumMiaow]

I think its fine - baby knows someone is there and trying to soothe them. They're just not getting what they'd ideally like, which is fine IMO.

We're currently getting DS to learn to 'self settle' by feeding or rocking to dozing then putting him down in his toddler bed (He hated his cot for some reason, having been happy in it for 5mo!) and lying down next to him. He cries for a bit, then cuddles, sits up, lies down, has another bit of a cry, lies down, cuddles etc etc until he drifts off to sleep. It seems to be working really well so far, even for naps sometimes!