What if they're just not ready for sleep at 'normal' bedtime?

[MrsHD]

Hello. Max is 7 weeks and his evenings/nights work something like this:

bath & massage around 7pm, feed (downstairs) after that somewhere around 7.30/8pm, usually all done by 8pm. He's then awake for half an hour or so then tends to have a mid-evg nap (downstairs) of about half an hour. Then, anywhere between 9.30pm and midnight he'll fall into his first long sleep of the evening (usually on DH, then gets transferred to his cot), which usually lasts about 3.5 hours but occasionally is 4 and once - and once only! - has been five. He wakes for a feed and then goes in two hour stretches after that, waking for feeds in between.

I appreciate that the clock is meaningless to him, but we really would like to get him 'going to bed' earlier, even reliably from 9pm would be good, I'm not asking for miracles! We've tried putting him to bed after his bath/massage/feed but that wasn't successful as he was wide-awake mid-evg and creating merry hell in his cot, which wasn't getting anyone anywhere. It's also very hard to tell when he's really gone for his long sleep - last night DS zapped out at 9pm which is earlier than usual I didn't realise that was it and stayed up til 10.30 expecting him to wake up any minute - was very annoyed to waste 90 mins sleep myself!

So, while accepting that at 7 weeks old we have to go with his patterns, is there anything we can do to get him going down earlier (and staying that way except for feeds)? He generally sleeps well in the day and often settles himself, so overall I'm happy with his ability to sleep, but would like to tweak the timings. Have other people found their LOs just naturally began to be ready for sleep earlier in the evening?

[Olihan]

Yup, mine just gradually started their longer sleeps earlier and earlier. Give it a few more weeks and he'll be nodding off at 8 leaving you the whole evening to Mumsnet sleep/ talk to DH.

[MrsHD]

Olihan you have made my day!

[MrsMattie]

I don't think there is a 'normal bedtime' for such a young baby. My 3 mth old DD sleeps for 8 or 9 hour stretches, so I bring her to bed with me at 10-ish and get a full night's sleep. If I put her down at 7pm, she's be awake at 3/4am. No way Jose! (she was going 3-4 hours at a time at 7 weeks, so things have naturally imrpoved loads in a short time).

Go with your DS's patterns for the next few months, I say, and see how it goes. There is plenty of time down the line to start a routine if your little one doesn't settle into an earlier bedtime of his own accord.

[MrsHD]

That's also very encouraging MrsM! DS appears to be sound asleep on DH now, at 9 o'clock, so we're going to put him down and I'll go to bed too, in the hopes that we'll both get a decent stretch of sleep.

[Ceebee74]

7 weeks is still very early to be expecting a 'bedtime' imo.

This week is the first week where I have been putting DS2 to bed at 7.15 - he is 13 weeks on Thursday. Before that, he has been staying downstairs with us and generally falling asleep on his playgym - sometimes waking up again etc - just like you have described.

But I noticed he was falling asleep pretty soon after DS1 had gone to bed - and we were probably disturbing him later on in the evening so I have tweaked the bathtime/bedtime routine so I could give him his last feed and get him to bed before DS1's bedtime at 7.30.

2 nights in and it seems to be working really well...he has settled both nights with hardly a murmur and I didn't hear a peep out of him last night until I woke him at 6.45 this morning

Now if only I could sort out DS1's bedtime/sleeping I would be a happy bunny

[Millytwohearts]

Any thoughts on best time to move DD2 ( 10 weeks) in with DD2 ( 19 months)?
I am worried about DD1 or me waking DD2 as couldn't cope with them both awake in the night!

[Seona1973]

if your lo still has night feeds then it would probably be easier to keep dd2 in with you until she no longer wakes in the night. It is advised to keep them in your room for the first 6 months to help prevent cot death (just in case you arent aware of that).