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Am I doing a terrible thing letting my 15 wk old DS cry for 2-5 mins before he goes to sleep?

(27 Posts)
Jojay Wed 11-Feb-09 19:13:18

He's been getting progressively harder to settle since he ditched the dummy on his own accord a week or so ago. I would cuddle him, pat his back, lots of shushing etc until he dropped off or nearly dropped off, then put him down. This is fine, but could take upwards of half an hour each time.

As an experiment today I swaddled him as usual but put him down while he was still grizzling a bit and left the room. He grizzled for another couple of mins then fell asleep.

I've done this 3 times today in total and each time it's taken a max. of 5 mins for him to drop off.

MrsPickles Wed 11-Feb-09 19:22:49

Absolutely not - he obviously needs a bit of a grizzle to get to sleep. Its a grizzle not a full on scream. Its just what he needs - it took me forever to learn that babies cry before they go to sleep - I thought I had to go in at every slight noise and hence my baby didn't sleep through until she was 16months as we got bad habits well entrenched!

clemette Wed 11-Feb-09 19:24:31

Some babies grizzle before they go to sleep. If it was full-on crying then I would say 15 weeks was too young.

lovelylullaby Wed 11-Feb-09 19:29:40

No a couple of minutes crying is fine, then he'll learn to settle himself. DS loved being swaddled and would grizzle for a couple of minutes and then off to sleep. Sounds like your DS is doing really well.

harpsichordcarrier Wed 11-Feb-09 19:31:01

grizzling is not crying
I wouldn't worry

ohdearwhatamess Wed 11-Feb-09 19:35:31

Both of mine would do a few minutes grizzling before going to sleep at that age.

If it is grizzling rather than increasingly hysterical screaming (the kind where they make themselves sick) I really wouldn't worry.

arthymum Wed 11-Feb-09 19:35:40

Sounds perfectly normal. My DS always needs a grizzle/shout/chat/high-pitched shriek before he goes to sleep. Sometimes he goes on for 20 minutes on and off. He started doing it at about 10 weeks and is now 5.5 months. You soon get to learn what is his "I'm winding down to go to sleep" noise and his "I'm crying because I want someone to come in and reassure me" noise.

Twims Wed 11-Feb-09 19:37:36

As long as it's "crying down" then I wouldn't pick up - just leave him to grizzle.

jujumaman Wed 11-Feb-09 19:39:06

God no, you're doing the right thing. Carry on.

Divejaney Wed 11-Feb-09 19:49:00

I agree - you are doing just fine. My ds has a good grizzle before he goes to sleep. I leave him to it and go in if it turns to crying. Most of the time he goes off on his own.

Yurtgirl Wed 11-Feb-09 19:56:19

in short jojay - no - If it works keep doing it, fairly soon he will probably just go to sleep if he is ready too without even crying

Mine didnt voluntarily sleep without much fuss until 6 months so you are doing really well

nickytwotimes Wed 11-Feb-09 19:58:05

Yep, a few minutes of grizzling is fine. Mine stop doing this at about 6 mths and self-settled well after that.

Aranea Wed 11-Feb-09 20:07:51

Watching this with interest - what do you guys think if a baby is actually doing full-on crying for 4 mins and then falls asleep? Is that bad? Why? I'm a bit concerned as I've done this with my baby a few times and she does go to sleep this way probably faster than she would if I sat with her. But I don't know if I'm doing something bad to her. sorry if this is a hijack...

lovelylullaby Wed 11-Feb-09 20:16:42

We let DS cry and he was totally okay. I guess you've just got to see what works for you and your baby. He was actually a good sleeper and good at dropping off himself and I'm sure it's cos we didn't lift him every time he cried.

Don't let other people make you feel bad about what you decide to do with your baby it's each to their own.

nickytwotimes Wed 11-Feb-09 20:41:16

Aranea, I don't think a few minutes will do any harm. I'm sure there are those who would disagree, but if there was something wrong, your lo would cry for longer I imagine.

MrsHappy Wed 11-Feb-09 20:46:46

My DD cried (more than just grizzling) for a few minutes before sleeping all the time.

After a while she started to chunter before she went to sleep and these days she sings instead.

Given that it takes me a while to wind down before sleep too, all of this seemed normal to me!

ilovemydogandMrObama Wed 11-Feb-09 20:46:56

DD settled herself by crying for awhile before going to sleep. It's a self soothing thing.

You learn to distinguish the cries.

soon2befamilyof4 Wed 11-Feb-09 20:50:59

I think 5 mins is absolutly fine. I don't like leaving babies to cry at all but 5 mins I would have no problem with. For my DD, if she cries, I KNOW She won't sleep. But that is because she gets histerical after 2 mins! But she is still a good sleeper. But if she self settles after 2-5 mins then yes I would leave her to cry.

PinkyMinxy Wed 11-Feb-09 20:57:31

My DS used to grizzle, sometimes make screamy noises for a few mins before sleep. He used to make these noises and move his head from side to side then go to sleep. He did this whether in his crib, our bed or the sling- made no difference.

MeAndMyMonkey Wed 11-Feb-09 20:58:13

2-5 minutes? I think mine cried round the clock at that age, regardless of whether she'd been fed, or anything.
If I had never left my baby to cry I literally would not have been able to do anything, ever. She was and is fine.
Surely everyone left their baby to cry at some point, didn't they? I can't believe anyone would guilt-trip you or anybody else about this.
For the record she turned a corner at 6 mths after sleeping in her own room and we have never looked back; she is now as happy as a flea and a fabulous sleeper.

tumtumtetum Wed 11-Feb-09 20:58:49

Aranea personally I think that's fine smile

Heated Wed 11-Feb-09 21:04:13

Mine loved a good grizzle smile

Mintyy Wed 11-Feb-09 21:04:43

Anything less than 5 minutes for any baby at any age is absolutely fine imho.

Otherwise, how do you have a shower if there's no-one else in the house to hold baby?

How do your help your potty training toddler do the necessary?

Serve up dinner,

etc?

Little babies like to be held pretty much all the time and I think we should do our best to accommodate them.

But 5 mins is fine.

Jojay Wed 11-Feb-09 21:28:53

Thanks everyone - my gut instinct says he's not really distressed; as you say, that's a completely different cry.

So I think I'll carry on and thank my lucky stars that me settles so easily grin

Aranea Wed 11-Feb-09 21:57:41

Thank you nickytwotimes and tumtumtetum. I was worried as, unlike Jojay, I can't hear that she isn't distressed although she does go to sleep. Am reassured by your opinions.

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