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Night is one long night feed - motivation to stop co-sleeping!

(6 Posts)
MrsHD Thu 22-Jan-09 10:54:02

I'll be totally honest that I'm not a natural co-sleeper. I'm only doing it because - in theory - it means I get more sleep. As the last few nights have been naff I'm wondering if there's any point, but before giving up on it and going back to hours of trying to settle DS after night feeds, which was frankly quite depressing, I'm looking for some advice on where I might be going wrong; not sure if I am 'going wrong' exactly or if this is inevitable.

DS is 3wks 2days - I know, he's tiny and needs to feed a lot, that I'm totally expect and am very happy to get up to feed him in the night (I'm bf him). I was expecting to feed him maybe 2-3 times between 11pm and 7am or something like that, the point being not the number or time of feeds but the discreteness (if that's a word!) of the feeds, ie he sleeps, he wakes, he feeds, he goes back to sleep for a couple of hours, he wakes etc. Instead he'll go for a 2-3 hour stretch (this can start anywhere from 6.30 to 11pm) then after that he feeds every 30-40 mins for 10 mins or so. He's quite an efficient feeder and doesn't usually feed more than 15 mins at any time, and he's gaining weight like nothing on earth (11lbs 7oz at 3wks 2 days) so I know he's getting enough.

What's toying with my sanity is these blocks of hours in the night where we're lying facing each other with him latched on to a boob for a while then dozing for a while then doing it all over again sometimes just 10 mins later - this can go on between 1-5am. Is co-sleeping encouraging him to feed because the boobs are there? Am I misreading his signals and shoving a boob in his mouth when it's not what he wants? Why am I bothering to co-sleep with all the rolling over/suffocating/claustrophobia issues when I'm getting only marginally more sleep than when I had to settle DS back to sleep before putting him in his cot? Is he getting enough sleep? I confess to getting quite stressed at 4am today when he dried, wouldn't feed, just wanted to be picked up and held upright so he could look round at the room - I know 4am is a meaningless concept to him, but I really resented amusing him at that time of the morning after hours of non-stop bloody feeding! I left him to cry for a wee while, lying next to me with my hand patting his chest and shhhing him so he knew I was there. There was nothing wrong exactly, he just wanted a change of scenery.

I'm rambling on - can you tell I'm fed up and want my bed back?!

PuzzleRocks Thu 22-Jan-09 12:28:18

Bumping for you.

Really sorry, but it sounds perfectly normal to me. If you try and settle him in a cot you may find youself next to the cot walking round with him for hours, at least this way you get to stay in your bed.

chandellina Thu 22-Jan-09 12:42:08

you could try sitting up (in bed) for the feeds and see if that brings about more of a beginning and end to each feed.

obviously you want to give him all the nourishment he needs, but it does sound like he is "grazing" instead of having complete feeds.

MrsHD Thu 22-Jan-09 19:24:23

I thought about sitting up too, but then I have to put him down and that's when he always woke previously. He's been helluva grumpy today, wouldn't be put down at all, so today is not the day to try getting him back into a cot!

chandellina Fri 23-Jan-09 16:14:10

when my DS was that little I would wait 10 minutes to be sure he was asleep, then put him down. It usually worked.

sorry you are having a rough time.

Another thing to keep in mind is that something that doesn't work today might work in a week or a month, so keep trying different things.

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