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Please, I really need some help.

(31 Posts)
ionesmum Wed 30-Mar-05 22:08:43

I'm sorry, I keep posting about this but things aren't getting any better. Dd2 is still using me as a dummy, she is awake two or three times a night, in fact a couple of nights ago she was awake for two hours and was sucking away the whol etime. I really need to get some proper sleep but just don't know how.

ggglimpopo Wed 30-Mar-05 22:09:19

Message withdrawn

dropinthe Wed 30-Mar-05 22:10:29

Are you talking about breast feeding-mine is exactly the same???

ionesmum Wed 30-Mar-05 22:10:32


charleepeters Wed 30-Mar-05 22:12:18

sorry to here that your having problems have you spoken to your h.v? i bottle fed myself so i could get dh to help have you considered it if your that tired? in the mean time is there no one who can have ds2 for a night for you to get some rest? sorry im not much help but wanted to do my best to help you. my sister was ahving the same problem her baby would feed for up to 4 hours at a time at night in the end she bottle fed and it really helped her i know breast is best and im not promoting bottle by all means just letting you know what my sis found best i hope it gets better for you.

ionesmum Wed 30-Mar-05 22:13:01

Yes, breastfeeding. She does still hav ea night feed or even two, which I could just about cope with, but she also needs to latch on just to go to sleep, and sometimes sh eis so awake it takes huors - but if I take he roff she cries, and I can't let her cry because that wakes dd1 up. Also dd1 is waking up as she is potty trained now, and needs her potty in the middle of the night, which wakes dd2 up...

charleepeters Wed 30-Mar-05 22:13:56

oh poor you have you tried giving her a bottle of milk or juice or a dummy?

ionesmum Wed 30-Mar-05 22:16:10

Thanks chraleepeters, it's kind of you to reply. I want to carry on bf, I bottle fed dd1 and hated it as I really wanted to bf, I'm so pleased to have done it this time but I just wish I could crack this problem. Ideally dd2 should just be having morning and bedtime feeds now with possibly one more. It doesn't help that she won't drink from a cup or bottle I'm sounding hopeless!!!

ionesmum Wed 30-Mar-05 22:17:06

I'd love her to take a dummy but she grabs it and throws it across the room!

charleepeters Wed 30-Mar-05 22:19:47

your not hopeless at all my other sisters dd didnt sleep through without night feeds untill she was 18months! isnt there a seperate room you could put dd1 in so you could try controlled crying with dd2? soory probably not being much help but 12 motnhs without a proper night sleep blimey! is she having naps in the day i heard if they dont they dont sleep aswell at night?

dropinthe Wed 30-Mar-05 22:20:24

AT LAST!!!!!Someone who is in the same boat as I am!! My DS is 14 months old and still sleeps in our bed-yes,I have made it,blah,blah, but he does exactly the same-its like he sleeps whilst feeding-always on the dot wakes uo at around 5am to feed for around an hour-I could have also done this at two am as well-he just loves it!! Is yours in a cot????????

Lonelymum Wed 30-Mar-05 22:24:28

You will think this harsh, but I think you should put her in her cot after feeding for a reasonable length of time and leave her. Yes she will cry, yes you might have to get up to her a few times, yes I know you are knackered and just want it as easy as you can have it, but at 12 months, she should not be sucking away on you for 2 hours at a time. A few nights of letting her cry will soon be replaced by her getting used to the new regime and hopefully sleeping the night or at least just feeding and going back to her own bed leaving you to have the rest of the night to sleep yourself.

ionesmum Wed 30-Mar-05 22:25:04

dropinthe, glad it's not just me. I had a baby who at 3 mo slept eight hours a night and somehow I've ruined it.

charleepters, dd1 has her own room. Dd2 is in with us. Our rooms interconnect so any noise in one is heard in the other, and dd1 needs to come through our room to get to the bathroom. Hence we have nowhere to put dd2 to do cc - which I don't really want to do as she headbutts the side of the cot if we leave her!!!!! She does sleep in the day but doew't have a pattern of when or for how long.

janx Wed 30-Mar-05 22:27:05

Poor you - you must be exhausted - is she sleeping too much during the day? Maybe you could offer one bottle - I bf but dd has one bottle at bedtime which dp does - she didn't take to it at first, but we perserved as she was getting too tired to bf. My dd too needed me as a dummy, but luckily she found her thumb. Good luck

charleepeters Wed 30-Mar-05 22:27:42

i also read that if you but them to bed still awake they get used to the fact that they CAN with out having to feed have you spoke to your health visitor?

dropinthe Wed 30-Mar-05 22:27:51

I only have the room that three year old ds1 sleeps(very well) in-I just cant comprehend what its going to be like putting youngest in the cot next to him without boobies!!!

Lonelymum Wed 30-Mar-05 22:28:23

Honestly ionesmum, I have 4 children and until recently they shared two rooms between them. We still left the youngest to cry even though he was in with dd and we found dd either didn't wake up (even with a screaming baby in the room!) or ds3 didn't cry for very long. You can't carry on as you are: you will run yourself into the ground.

charleepeters Wed 30-Mar-05 22:29:09

sorry will do that agai if she gets put down while shes sleepy but awake she should fall asleep by herself and realise she can sleep without feeding also we use a lullaby c.d very softly playing to get ds to sleep at night. will post if i think of anything else.

ionesmum Wed 30-Mar-05 22:30:04

Thanks for all your replies - but got to go - guess who's just woken up!!!!!

dropinthe Wed 30-Mar-05 22:41:09

Have a good night!!

ionesmum Wed 30-Mar-05 23:15:07

Thanks again - I'm back - it took forty minutes which isn't bad. We do use a lullaby cd which works a treat for dd1, I'm hoping it will for dd2 eventually. Am off to see the hv tomorrow.

Hope you have a good night too dropinthe!

donnacb Thu 31-Mar-05 08:58:56

Hi I hope your last few nights have been better. Is your room dark that your bubs sleeps in?? I found with my little one that too dark he woke up sobbing and to bright he wanted to play. Do you have a bed time routine? I took a baby massage class and after js bath he has a full body massage ( could do with one myself) I then put on classic fm for babies cd (which makes me want to fall asleep) j is now coming up 5 months ( i know not as old) but he used to wake every two hours for a suckle or breast feed. He Since starting this has now slept from 08.00 -04.00 or 5 and then 10 min breast and sleep till 07.30ish. Its worth a try. he also wont tke a dummy or bottle but trying cup now. hope helps. have you read the baby whisperer book. her section on sleep is quite good it gives you cue when the little ones are getting tired so we dont miss the opportunity to put them down to sleep. Well youve probably tried all these things but i do reccommend the baby massage ( ps i did five weeks course able to take it in better and was provided by my hv. will stop rambling good luck donna

ionesmum Thu 31-Mar-05 16:58:54

Thanks for your message, donna! I did do baby massage too, the only problem is dd2 now crawls off so I can just about slap a bit of oil on and that's it! We have a lovely lullaby cd which we listen to, I play it when dd2 has a nap and for dd1 also, I reckon I must hear it about six times a day! The room is dark except for a very dim nightlight - I need it to be able to see to look after her as we have no streetlights - and we also have a set routine at bedtime. I have had a look at teh Baby Whisperer book, the only reason I never stuck with it was that I couldn't fit it in around dd1's activities - the one thing I felt the book lacked was advice on what to do if you are trying EASY and you have a toddler who has to be at certain playgroups at certain times. I think I will have to give it another look.

The hv today said that I need to sort out dd2' eating first and tehn worry about her sleep, she says I need toget her eating more. Problem is, I'm too tired to get my head round it all. As for the sleep, she said I can't expect her to sleep at night unless her tummy is full, but I have to try to get her to sleep without bf. Well, I had realised that actually...

jud2905 Thu 31-Mar-05 21:43:13


tracey hogg (the baby whisperer) did a session with a couple on TV recently with same problem but theirs was also during day time. She used a distraction technique every time child (more than 12 months old) started pulling at mums top during the day and at night time used a put down and leave technique. It took about a week and lots of patience but by the end of this it had improved dramatically- might be worth having a look at her book to see if there is anything similar in it. Good luck

ionesmum Thu 31-Mar-05 23:32:20

Thanks, have just ordered her new one from Amazon!

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