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A polite request that only people who believe in attachemnet parenting ish and self weaning join this thread please. I am just not up to being told I'm useless or a slave to my children

(204 Posts)
IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Wed 07-Jan-09 17:13:57

Gecko is still waking at least 3 (sometime 6 and up times a night) to bf

Has anyone else had this?

she is 23 months

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Wed 07-Jan-09 17:15:23

anyone

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Wed 07-Jan-09 17:17:02

oh dear am I really the only one

DisasterArea Wed 07-Jan-09 17:18:40

although nt still feeding DD2 carried on waking each and every night untl she was 6. that is not to say it was an issue. she went to bed in her own bed no problem but woke up and made her way into ours. we just shoved over a bit. am assuming gecko isn't hungry and its just a comfort to get her back off to sleep. is it a problem for you? aside from the waking you up over and over. do you want her to stop?

CharCharGabor Wed 07-Jan-09 17:19:00

Didn't want to leave your post unanswered. DD's only 17 months but wakes up loads to bf. She's getting her first molars. Is gecko getting her second set? I feel for you, it's brain numbing isn't it? DD has been awake for most of the night the last two nights and no pain relief is working.

geordieminx Wed 07-Jan-09 17:19:11

Ds is 22 months, and is still waking 4 or 5 times a night - he isnt b/f, he just needs settling. hmm

Its driving me madddddddddddddddddddddddd

DisasterArea Wed 07-Jan-09 17:19:39

ah forgot a bit - did feed her at night till about 18 months ish after having gived up te boob properly at about 11 months.

bran Wed 07-Jan-09 17:19:42

No advice I'm afraid, just sympathy. You must be exhausted. sad

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Wed 07-Jan-09 17:19:42

I think I just want to believe that she will eventually

geordieminx Wed 07-Jan-09 17:20:46

Everytime he has a bad night we blame teething.. he's waiting on back 4, but tbh we've been saying this since August and still no sign hmm

littlelamb Wed 07-Jan-09 17:23:07

My ds is much much younger at only 7 months, but we have the same problem. I do feel I have made a bit of a rod for my own back and certainly people delight in telling me that if I did insist on sharing a bed with him then what did I expect? He is now feeding all night and refuses to settle in his cot at all. I am trying just to think that 'this too shall pass', Yes, I am tired but had the little terror darling been willing to take a bottle I would have relented this week and cracked open the formula which I know isn't what I want (a bit more sleep would be nice though). My ds is definately teething though, so could it be this?

DisasterArea Wed 07-Jan-09 17:24:47

nah - this attacment parenting lark, la la la, rod for own back etc etc, setting yourself up for issues in later life yadda yadda, will still be in your bed when she's 16 blah blah blah
and so on.

you know she won't and she will be a nice secure person for you doing it.

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Wed 07-Jan-09 17:25:00

she has been very unsettled the last two nights
she has her first molars but maybe she is getting more back teeth

sweetkitty Wed 07-Jan-09 17:26:20

Can I kind of join in? I have a cosleeping waking 5 times a night 5 month old.

Also have a kicking duvet off and generally moaning a few times a night 3yo DD2 and a wake the house going to the toilet plus coming into our room several times a night 4 1/2 yo DD1 (DP generally sees to these too but I still get wakened)

Am totally bloody shattered

chipmonkey Wed 07-Jan-09 17:28:20

Yes, ds3 co-slept till 2 and he was like this. He did improve when we stopped bfing though. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear! I couldn't get pg while bf so had to wean him earlier that we would have liked.

MrsMattie Wed 07-Jan-09 17:29:51

I did a sort of version of attachment parenting (or 'being a soft hippy', as my DH calls it grin) with my son, although I didn't BF. My DS was still waking for milk and cuddles several times a night until the age of 2 and a half, when he started to wake less. Eventually I did go cold turkey with the night feeds, but only in response to him waking less and only having a sip of his milk when he did wake. I figured he was just waking for cuddles, which I would never deny, but to be honest, within a week of stopping the milk, he stopped waking full stop. He has slept through the night 7pm-7/8am ever since. I would never have believed it was possible.

There is hope.

harpomarx Wed 07-Jan-09 17:29:54

I am totally in favour of your method of parenting, Queen - it's sort of mine too. But if you are honest, do you want to carry on feeding at night? I thought I would keep on going as long as dd wanted too but found the night waking exhausting and stopped bfing (but still co-slept) at night soon after she turned one. She actually self-weaned during the day fairly soon after and from then on has mostly slept through the night (never did before then). She co-slept until recently, she is now 4 and a very good sleeper.

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Wed 07-Jan-09 17:30:26

see that is what I believe disaster area
I dont think she will be doing it forever but when she wakes for the 6th time in as many hours and I'm tired ans there appears to be no obvious reason for it I am beginning to despair

the thing is I have no choice
I cannot suddenly tell her she cant have boob in the night

it is THE thing that makes her feel secure, safe, calm, happy, EVRYTHING

I couldn't just whip that away from her, it would be unbeleivably nasty

she wouldn't have a clue why I was doing it so would feel bewildered and lost

that is just mean, no more than mean, really fucking nasty amd awful

she has had that feeling of the soft breast in her mouth, the smell of me, the taste of the milk and the cuddles since she has been alive
I just could not refuse her.

do I sound crazy?

sweetkitty Wed 07-Jan-09 17:37:56

Queen - you basically have summed up my thoughts exactly, I know I am a human dummy, my baby a lot younger than gecko so bit different but she wakes you can see her rooting getting frustrated at finding DP's elbow then she finds what she wants and you can see the wee eyes glaze over in happy contentment, all she wants is to know Mum and boob are close by.

On the other hand it's bloody knackering.

Psychobabble Wed 07-Jan-09 17:39:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lljkk Wed 07-Jan-09 17:44:05

Can I sign up too! I'm afraid to tell anyone in real life that DS (nearly 11months old) still sleeps with us, and wakes up loads, needing lots of settling and some feeds.

It's grueling, but I don't want to tell people in case they try to "fix it".

Jacksmama Wed 07-Jan-09 17:52:19

co-sleeping breast-feeding attachment parenting devotee here

DS wakes b/w 4 and 6 times in the night to have a nibble

oh well (sigh)

won't be forever

but he's a lovely secure happy little boy (11 months)

xxx

Pseudocreme Wed 07-Jan-09 17:53:10

<<adds name to list>>

DD is 20mo. It won't be forever and I know I'll miss it one day. At times though... it's frustrating.

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Wed 07-Jan-09 17:55:03

I am so glad I'm not the only one who feels like that
it is frustratin sometimes but I feel that it is right

she is such a happy bright little girl
I can do this for her

Jacksmama Wed 07-Jan-09 17:55:04

i love your name pseudocreme!

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